Nagmamahal, Paraluman (Completed)

NP12

Chapter Twelve
Leaving Him Slowly

THE time really is fast for us making Christmas and New year history in our hearts. Kung noon, mga palamuti gaya ng Christmas tree at parol ang nakikita ko, ngayon naman ay mga puso. Agad akong napangiti sa isipan nang napagtantong malapit na rin ang alis ni Salvador para sa kanyang pangarap.

We celebrated New Year as a complete family with lots of food and of course, love. Hindi ko rin namamalayang tuluyan na akong nahulog kay Salvador. I was like, at exact time when the fireworks started to pop in the sky, was my feelings showing and showing bringing prosperity and happiness towards us.

Last week, I explained to him about my feelings. Sabihin na lang natin na nag-confess na rin ako sa kanya. Hindi ko na kasi kayang itago pa ang nararamdaman because as he fell, I fell as well harder.

But I guess, my illness were also present as day by day, I feel weak. Mayroong mga oras na magaan ang pakiramdam ko ngunit mayroon ding kabaligtaran. My color before turned into its original one, but this January, it became pale as what my color is, when I first step my feet in Manila.

Sa pagdaan ng araw, nababawasan din ang aming bond as he's being busy about packing and practicing the Grammy's.

I woke up having a nightmare. I was sweating and felt like I was being toasted due to the hotness I'm feeling. I thought pinatay lang ang aircon kanina, but it's not. Kung hindi pa ako ginising ay hindi ko maaalamang inaapoy ako ng lagnat. My temperature is 38.7°C.

I am wearing Salvador's sweater with my socks as thick as Christmas gloves. I can't even stand completely without a cane. I'm currently laying down at the sofa with dad massaging my feet. I feel weak as ever, and yet wala akong natatanggap na message galing sa kanya.

I chatted him a lot for two hours now, yet haven't got a single reply coming from him. Nasabi ko na rin na nilalagnat ako yet, wala pa rin. Pilit ko namang iniintindi na may trabaho siya, ngunit paano naman ako? Para akong nangungulila sa presensya niya.

“Please, magreply ka naman.”

I think dad heard that for he, came close to me asking me about him. “Muse, did the both of you fight?”

I shook my head denying what he said. Talaga namang hindi kami nag-away, it's just that he's busy about Grammy's. Alam kong aalis na siya ilang araw mula ngayon ngunit sana naiisip naman niya na kailangan ko rin siya.

“Oh, sh*t. I forgot to tell you something.” Napaangat ako ng tingin nang magsalita sa mula kusina si Uncle. “He wants you to go to his unit later at three. Ako na lang ang magsasabi na hindi ka makapupunta since you're sick.”

Mom and Melanie wasn't here anymore. Umuwi sila matapos  ang bagong taon. Kailangan din si Melanie sa Quezon dahil bakasyon lang ang kanyang pananatili rito. Si mom, kailangan naman sa business namin. Dad chose to stay here even though he's more needed in there than mom. He said, ako ang mas-aasikasuhin niya kaysa sa trabaho niya. Tito needs to stay here too, dahil ayoko talagang magpa-ospital.

It's not that I'm being picky about the place, it's just that hindi ko pa napapatunayan ang aking sarili. Hate me for this but, I really don't want to go back in there.

I just nodded at uncle before sitting. Hindi man gumagaan ang aking pakiramdam, kailangan kong magpalakas. I get my phone beside me and opened my IG to get notifies on the latest happenings.

From scrolling, I stopped when I saw Elani's post. It's a video. Dahil sa pagtataka, I played it. I even gasped as she stated, “Hi guys, it's Elani! So for today, I'll be updating you guys about our journey to NYC!” she then showed her bags as well as the clothes she'll wear. "Of course, hindi mawawala ang Louis Vuitton! If my friend sees this, siguradong pagagalitan ako no'n. Hey, Muse I miss you!" Then the video closed and showed, play again.