Honey and Gold - Young Royals

He Loves Simon Eriksson

"I'm sorry."

   Wilhelm held on to Simon like this would be the last time he would be allowed this. He memorized the feel of Simon's body, his warmth, his smells, the way his hands felt on him, even the way his chest would rise and fall with every breath. He engraved all this in his mind because God only knows when he'll be this close to his boy again.

   It can be said that Simon did the same. He knew just how big this was. An entire legacy resided on Wilhelm's shoulders. A burden he would carry alone for the time being.

"I love you"

   Wilhelm could physically feel Simon's breath catch. He doesn't regret saying it out loud. He means it with his entire being; mind, body, and soul, he loves Simon Eriksson.

"I hope you have a nice Christmas"

   It took everything in Simon to not say it back. He knew it would only make things harder for the both of them. Even so, he knows he will hear Wilhelms's voice over and over again whispering those three words in his dreams, and his days.

   Wilhelm knows Simon took it as a declaration, in a way it is, but to him, it's a promise. A promise to both of them. He's aware that the weeks, maybe even months ahead of them, will not be easy nor kind. But he knows he will come back to his person, one way or another. He has to.

   With one last hug, both of them let go and Simon watches Wilhem's retreating back. He misses him but knows this is the only logical thing to do. Their last hug was a moment stolen from time and space.

   With his chin held up high and his indifferent attitude no one would guess that inside their prince hurts inside and yearns to be held again. Preferably by a certain curly-haired boy.

                                                                                           ***

    Wilhelm had anything but a nice Christmas; Not that he was expecting one anyway.

    The first few days passed by excruciatingly slowly. Day and night began to mix together. He wondered if this is how those princesses in fairytales felt trapped in their towers. He hugs himself and imagines Simon's arms around him every night before he sleeps. He holds on tight to his memories. The ghost of Simon's presence lingers on him. He turns and foolishly wishes it was Simon's face he sees first in the morning and not the dull palace walls of his room.

   Either way, it didn't last long before his mom dragged him out of his room. He guesses she deems 1 week enough time to sulk in his room. He can't tell if he's grateful for it or not. Before he knew it his own solitude became his safe space.

   Soon after breakfast, he decides he would've been better off wallowing in his own self-pity.

   "Wilhelm," his mom says, the tone in her voice indicates that whatever she's about to say will not be up for negotiation.

   "Yes, mom?" Wilhems has to swallow whatever panic is rising in him. It's too early for her to be demanding anything from him. Her eyes shift down his shaking leg and he immediately stops.

   His dad intervenes before his wife can say anything, "Kristina not now please, let him have some time to himself first"

   She turns to her husband before continuing, "A week is enough time dear. It's time to get things back in check"

   Wilhelms looks between the two of them bracing himself to whatever his mom could possibly mean.

   "Wilhelm dear, the royal address only did so much to control this mess. We need to reassure the public that you were not involved in this entire thing." Wilhelm couldn't help but wince at her choice of words. A 'mess'? Since when was his own private love life a mess that needed to be controlled?