Seven Months

Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Misinterpreted Feelings

"I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but the both of us. Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but the both of us." - Both Of Us B.o.B. featuring Taylor Swift

I've been to the hospital three times now. I really didn't want to try for a fourth. No one really spoke on the ride home. Not even a word. Normally I'd tried to break the silence with some weird, quirky, statement that everyone rolled there eyes at. But I needed the silence. I needed time to think.

I thought about a lot on that forty- five minute ride home. I thought about my disease, my friends, my family, my career, and Jacob. I couldn't find which category to place him in: friend, best friend, friend with benefits, more than friend.

I honestly didn't know. He was more than just my friend, we were closer than that. Best friend? Maybe. Friend with benefits? No, I'm not that type of girl. More than a friend? I hadn't quite worked out my feelings for Jacob yet. I knew I liked him more than a friend. Maybe more than a crush too. Did I-?

Love him?

When that thought hit me, and I thought over it, and I mean really thought over it, the answer I came to was simple: yes. I loved Jacob Benjamin Thompson.

The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I would have smiled, but I couldn't bring myself to show emotion right then.

When we pulled up in front of the house, I darted straight inside and up to my room. Instead of heading to my bed like I wanted to, I grabbed my guitar and my notepad and I attempted to put some of my ideas on paper. I ended ripping some of the pages out and crumbling them up and tossing them into the garbage. This happened more than once but less than ten.

Words were swirling around my mind, and I had so many different ideas. When Cher came to find me a couple hours later with a plate of food in her hand, I had written multiple songs. I didn't know if they were any good, but I had high hopes.

Cher sat down with me handing me the food, which I ate greedily. Hospital food sucks. She helped me with some harmonies, and when Usher heard us singing, he joined the party. Simon, Alexander, and Lectra watched us work.

Cher and Usher would give me pointers, and when I did something wrong, they helped me, not being rude and acting like they were better than me, but were nice about. Cher and Usher were great with helping me with my song lyrics, but I didn't show them any of my songs, keeping them to myself.

All the while my mind lingered on a certain missing someone. I hadn't seen Jacob since that night at the club four days ago, and the word from everyone else was that he had locked himself in his room, only coming out for food or the bathroom.

For four days he was locked away from everyone, and I had thought about going and knocking on his door, but I didn't have the confidence to move from my spot.

I crashed early, and woke up way to early for my own good.

It was five thirty in the morning, and I was seated at the bar in the kitchen, coffee in hand. I didn't do anything, just stared at the granite counter top, occasionally taking a sip of my drink. It wasn't long (or maybe it was, I don't wear a watch so I don't know) before someone appeared in the kitchen, having not seen me. They busied themselves with making some tea, setting the kettle on the stove.

It was Jacob from the looks of him. He seemed exhausted, his black hair a mess on his head, bags under his eyes, and dressed only in a t-shirt and basketball shorts. Only when he spun around to get the tea bags did he notice me. I raised an eyebrow at his odd behavior, and he seemed kind of shocked to see me.