The Subordinate

Meet Joe

It began in 2011, it was pretty much still recession and a new graduate from Durham Law School with leadership positions in student organisations, an internships at Standard Chartered and RSA insurance - but the 2008 recession has killed off my department, thus I was told to get my experience somewhere else. Basically it meant, to find somewhere else to train me that won't be under their expense.

I needed a job. Like any job. A job.

Gumtree (UK's version of Craiglist) jobs - are literally the classic definition of jobs. A dog walker. A nanny living in London who needs to be fluent in Swedish. An assistant of no specifics - a euphemism for maid. A "secret"ary of sorts - sex secretary. A fetish secretary. Fantasy secretary. Curiosity secretary. (S)experiment secretary. But a degree is preferred for applicants due to the nature of the work. Discretion is necessary.

Until, I've seen a lovely "professional" opening.

Fournier Consultancy, a marketing and merger professional services, is hiring new graduates for a trainee position.

Roles:

- assisting in academic research and market research.

- analysing data, and presenting them to clients.

- client on-boarding.

- financial statement analysis, to advise potential mergers clients.

That was the advertisement. Thankfully, if was on Linked and not on Gumtree. Makes it a little more legitimate.

What the role really meant in a summary: make Francis Fournier look good, make him look like an expert... make him look like he really gets the job done without lording anyone over, and make him look successful to neg chicks but without making him look too successful to chicks either for they might end up as golddiggers.

Perhaps he was also negging men alike, to work for him as his minions and brains that will make him look like he is the idea creator whilst getting the most credit and most pay.

At the point of desperation, I applied. It was only after all a stepping stone from me.

I emailed him directly, as his website is very direct - it really didn't have much portals. His email was literally on it, including his mobile phone number. I did think, this dude seems approachable.  Even when it is pretty much a standard practice in professional services to put your email and contact number on the website, but it often has two to three portals first before it reaches your profile. Not this one. On point.

Astutely studying who my potential boss would be, he listed all his accomplishments on the web page. But it was not just any form of accomplishments, he listed those from his youth and questionable rubbish to the present.

The usual Big Four, and respectable big firms of professional services often have a brief history of the lawyer, accountant and consultant - the highlight of it would just the education without any further details and recent successful projects. There are not any unnecessary rubbish about their "hobby accomplishments" as being one or three out of the hundreds of applicants from that prestigious university is enough.

Not this one, the lone sole proprietor who wants to immortalise his name - if it ever reaches that level without any form of fluff. He wasn't the first sole proprietor I had encountered - there was another one, an organisation psychologist who listed all his art accomplishments after all his free Coursera courses whilst calling himself Rothko expert.

My finger was hesitant to click send, but my mind was rationalising with me - the bills, the rent, the MBA tuition and the food. My hesitancy was not from the lack of education or experience, it was the actual boss running his own show.

I took a deep long sigh, and just clicked it - they may say it was like ripping off a band aid. It was more like after listening to a very persuasive and touch dramatic tarot card reader telling you what you want to hear but making you believe it is what it is, even when you know that if X is 1 and Y is 1 then X + Y = 2.

There it was, the application received message. I crinkled my nose for a short while, and in the midst of it - I hardly cared if the sole proprietor would ever want give me a job. It would probably even give me such relief not to get the job.