Numb come back to life

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  Once upon a time, when the golden sun slowly warmed up. The daily activities of humans start out so charmingly. Bakers seduce this sense of smell with the warmth of buttered bread. Warm chocolate as a friend, giving encouragement before the day begins. The humans began to socialize with each other with friendly conversations that embraced each other. The spirit in the discipline of the heart began to swell along with the collision of the farmers’ rice. The servants, busy carrying baskets filled with Fresh vegetables.
  Carrying the bucket from the spring to fill the warm bath for his Master. Steam-engined vehicles with hundreds of horsepower, were busy passing by making deliveries of ordered goods. As a condition of meeting the target market. However, all this busyness does not necessarily spoil these sore eyes. Not necessarily able to affect the disappearance of my desire to move, and prefer to freeze myself. Rather than being warmed by the warm embrace of humanity. Because it’s been 3 days. There is not a single activity that can color my dusty day.

  Apart from leaning against the cold wall, and letting the silence chain my soul. The silence allowed me to witness the most beautiful sight. Namely, portraits of my parents. Along with the scent of their bodies that seep into the last clothes. It was worn before a terrible and dark incident occurred. A belief that I always consider, that it is a disaster from the hand of God. As a test and punishment for this self-obedience. All They orders and wills, I always fulfill them without any mistakes. When a job weighs on their tired bodies, I always entertain them with jokes.

  So that the tiredness of their faces turned into bright faces full of laughter. When anger burns in their hearts, my voice is never louder than theirs. And when I’m bored I miss their presence. Always treated with greetings from both my parents. “We’re home.”

  However, when my heart returned to longing for the presence of my parents. For the first time they did not say hello to this bored soul. Instead of going back to heaven, back into the arms of God. While his body, passed away back into our home. In a moral of the last dress along with the latest photo when wearing neat and elegant clothes in a coffin. I was so tired of myself, this heart murmured so painfully.

“I give up! I gave up on everything…!” My words are getting tired of saying pleas or expecting something.

  When I was withering without the touch of the sun. The doorknob turned slowly, along with graceful steps without the fanfare of a woman. When she saw my dry and thin body. The bottom of  it’s heart felt tortured by feelings of fear and anxiety. She approached me, then hugged me with a warm embrace full of sincerity. Trying to reach my broken self with charming words.

“Stop crying. Then, provide nutritious intake on your empty stomach. Step out of the pit of sadness, so that you can breathe the air of change.” She spoke softly to the fading of my life with love.
  As a hiding place for her anxious feelings towards my lousy figure. However, for no apparent reason. This emotion instantly exploded violently into mental tempera.

“Nothing! Which is able to freeze this self to move! I will never allow anyone who is reluctant to drag this soul into the joy of filling the hole in the heart," cried my madness scream. On the verge of suffering burning with despair.

  The heart-breaking words came out of this dirty mouth again with a sad cry. “However, I will allow the goddess of death to drag this faded soul away. Towards the gloom of the heart in eternal darkness."

  As if a romantic embrace in my arms, not the sincerity of a healer of insanity shocks. Rather it is the goddess of death who is holding my life. The woman's wise desire seemed to have disappeared, but was reluctant to fade. Because she is the one who is able to realize this full trauma of depression. In weeping, He hums in inner torment. Her weak and gentle feeling seemed to be beyond shocked. Over my outburst of emotions out of control. However, his quivering mouth still insisted on saying a word for this lousy self.

  In her spoken tears, he gave him a cup of hot coffee. “Release?! Take it all out on me alone, not on the good people out there. This self will be calm like the surface of the water. While your mind is able to harden like a stone that can make a rip in my inner peace. Until your soul is able to soften again with the warmth of this coffee."

  After hearing the soft, trembling voice of the woman. My heart feels tight. Makes my stomach queasy and then burns until my brain boils. If the goddess of death in my arms, undo her intention to kill me. With a surge of blood frozen in my brain. I forcibly snatched a cup of hot coffee from her fingers. Then pour it on myself. Hoping that my presumptuous behavior towards her would make the goddess of death furious. So I hugged myself tighter until I ran out of on myself.

“Get this trash off my face” My hate speech in a terrible tone of voice. When confronted with a trashy drink He was reluctant to give me.

Prang!
I broke the coffee cup into sharp shards.
  Grasping one of those sharp shards, to stab it multiple times into my heart until it tragically dies. The woman noticed my silly stupid behavior. Then immediately snatch the splinter from my fingers.

"Take off your dirty fingers!" I snapped arrogantly.
While snatching the splinter from her finger she said "Stop it!"

  After the woman's fingers bleed to flow fresh blood with a pervasive fishy aroma. The splinter, was able to be snatched by his from my fingers. The old lady threw it away from me. He looked back at my face that looked like a zombie. The woman's hum, now moaning. His heart seemed to be sliced thinly when his gift was considered unclean trash. His virtues are sincere and pure, as if betrayed by my hypocritical nature full of sin. The cries of ignorance made her even more sad. However, He still insisted on treating my mental decay.
 
In the woman’s moans, He made a final plea to me. “Calm down... Calm yourself, allow the scent to be inhaled into your sense of smell.”

  When the taste buds on my tongue had gone numb, the scent that always made my body tremble was again inhaled into my frozen brain. Instantly shed tears of longing. When the beautiful memories with my parents who I always love come back to me. Paint bright colors in this rotten soul with the sincerity of love. Sadly, I can’t afford to drink it. I always reject the warmth of my parents’ love that flows in the coffee. Long before their presence was still by my side. Tragically, it was the first and last cup before my parents died. While calming the mind again inhaled from a cup of coffee. Millions of cells in my brain vibrate. Hit this crushed self with awareness.
  Ironically, that was the first time I saw it again. It is a sadistic scene from the heart of the woman who was sad hysterically. My dear friend is now receiving eternal wounds to the point of shedding tears of blood. Immediately tears of blood also dripped from my eyes, and hurt this view even more when women’s cries couldn’t stop. It was astonishing to see his face that had turned pale to the point where he could no longer accept the feeling of fear. From a figure of me that was far different from his memories. In prostration in front of him, I sincerely apologized to her.

“I really beg from the bottom of my heart. Please forgive me, my dear friend.” My hypocrite pleaded with him, who hoped for a self-forgiveness.

  To me, apologies that lie with lies when my anger subsides. It was not enough to treat his shock physical wounds, nor his bleeding soul. Because I am using these dirty fingers to hide my guilt as a sinner. However, when I looked back at his pale face. My best friend even gave me a sincere smile. She didn’t turn angry at me, she didn’t brutally stomp on my neck until I suffocated. Or not then slap my face until it bleeds fresh. Instead she kissed my dirty lips that had dried up with the warmth of a kiss full of sincere tenderness from his heart. Without feeling nauseous with the aroma that has been fused in caffeine addiction. After a while, his true feelings were revealed while straightening my psyche. Sh said the most beautiful pearl words, which I will never forget from my memory.

“Stay alive, even if it’s useless.” She said in a life-encouraging quote.

  After hearing his words again filled my heart. With all my strength I rose from the puddle of my suffering, without dramatizing the weakness and pain of this body. The woman was immediately alert to embrace my limp body. As if the wind can blow this body.

“Good grief Elan, what do you want to do?” Asked his astonishment at my sudden action. However, this stubbornness forced my mind to come back alive. Instead of prioritizing the needs and health of this body.
“I beg of you Annabeth, allow myself to feel life again” I said to him with a forceful nature, intending to feel again something that had disappeared from me. Because I don't want this hospitality to disappear from me.
“Of course, I'd be happy to point it out. However, do you not want to fill your empty stomach or rest your body. First?" Speak his concern so that I can embrace my heart in top condition.
"Please Annabeth!" Sincere plea for my true wish.
"Okay if you insist. Please, after you.” Said he understood.

  As he put his arm around me, I led the way. So that he is able to return to show real human life. Leaving the gloomy life that tortured my life slowly. Towards the joy of captivating human life. My solitude embraces.

Crack!
The sound of the door knocking slowly.
  Opening the separator of my safe and comfortable space, with the radiance of life that separates privacy. The radiance of the sun that has risen, Illuminates nature for the activities of humans who have shined. Makes my eyes that have been brightly lit, mesmerized by their charming uniqueness.

"Good morning." Greet everyone who has been waiting for me for a long time.

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 18, 2021 ⏰

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