Astral Lovers

CHAPTER 7

WARNING

This chapter contains detailed self-erotic scenes.
If you are not comfortable with this topic do not read.

Steve POV

"I'll find you, honey.I'll find you"
I stand still in front of the river bank for an indefinite time.
I don't know if it's been minutes or hours.
I just know my head is exploding.
Millions of thoughts pass through it at the speed of light, a thousand ideas to put into practice.
But the only thing I can do is stay glued in place, unable to even look up to the sky.
I gaze incessantly at the body of water in front of me.
Dark.
Dark as her eyes.
How the hell did I get into this situation?
The rational part of my brain tells me to let it go.
I've known this woman for how long?
Just a week?
Why should I make my life so complicated?
She's gone, that's okay.
I can find other women.
Hundreds of other women would love me.
I'm Steve Rogers.
I'm Captain America.
I sigh.
But any other woman would not be her...and to speak is my instinct that dominates over reason.
I can't do without her now.
Absurd?
Very likely.
But I know I'm willing to turn the world upside down just to find her, if only to hug her again for a minute.
To know that she is fine.
I'm worried about her.
She is alone in a world that she believes is real and I have to understand why.
I need to figure out how to find her.
I need some answers and I know I'll be alone on this journey.
I absolutely cannot involve my teammates in all of this.
Nor Bucky or Natasha.
They are not just my friends and my team, they are my family and I could never expose them to such a great unknown if it were not strictly necessary.
Lily is needed only for me.
I can risk for her, and I will.
But I can't ask others to do the same.
I've done this before, to save Bucky, and I nearly destroyed the Avengers.
I put my friends, my family, in a horrible situation, pitting them against each other.
It was worth it?
Absolutely yes.
Would I do it again?
No.
The guilt would devour my soul.
I am brought back to the present by the sound of my smartphone.
I take it out of my leather jacket pocket and read the name on the screen.
Natasha.
She knows that there is something that worries me.
And that's why she is one of my friend.
She's not breathing down my neck, she's not trying to get the news out of my mouth.
She waits patiently in a corner until I am the one ready to open up.
I try to gather all my strength and be calm and carefree.
"Hey Nat, what's up?"
"Hi Steve, we're ordering a pizza.Are you one of us tonight?"
I can perceive the underlying meaning of her question, which is Will you deign to honor us with your presence tonight at least?
I know I'm acting like a bad friend.
"I don't know Nat, I'm already in my apartment"
It's not really the truth but my plans are those.
"C'mon Steve!" I hear her sigh.
"We haven't seen each other in days!Please don't leave me another night alone with Barnes!"
On the other end of the phone I can hear Bucky exclaim "Look I'm here and I can hear you Romanoff!"
A smile escapes my lips.
"Look, there's nobody in the tower tonight.It's just me and Barnes.Tony is in Miami with Pepper, Bruce is in Washington and Clint is with his family.
Come on don't get begged!"
After all, I could go.
It's true I'm not in the mood to see anyone but Bucky and Nat are my best friends.
"Ok, I'm coming.Give me 30 minutes and I'll be there"
When I'm about to hang up Natasha's voice stops me.
"Steve...I know there is something you're not telling me and that's okay, I swear!"
I hear a smile in her voice.
I close my eyes, God, she knows me very well.
"And whatever it is, I want you to know I'm on your side.No matter what, I will never judge you.Whatever it is we can work it out together.I love you, you know?"
"I know Nat, thanks.I love you too.See you soon"
I feel tears rise in my eyes.
I know I can entrust my life to this woman, she will always watch my back.
I walk briskly to my apartment.
I need to take a shower.
I have to clear my head.
Once I get home I go quickly and head to the bathroom, I begin to free myself from my clothes until the reflection of something small is bright on the floor catches my attention.
I bend over to my knees to be able to observe closely and understand what it is.
I reach out under the sink and there I find a small and delicate earring.
It is shaped like a butterfly and has wings covered with shining marine waters.
My heart begins to beat faster and faster.
This is Lily's and if she wasn't real I never could have had anything of her with me, right?
I remain crouched in this position to observe this little jewel resting on the palm of my hand.
Then I raise myself holding it in my fingers.
A little hope brightens my heart.
Maybe there is a chance that I will find her.
I enter the shower with my heart a little lighter.
After all, nothing is lost.
I know she exists, somewhere she is living her life unaware that I am real.
The hot water flows through my hair, wetting my back and running down to the drain.
I can't help but think about her.
I feel obsessed with this woman.
I think of the kisses we exchanged just before she disappears.
Kisses so full of passion that I can't get them out of my mind.
I lift my hand to my lips, with the thumb I stroke my lower lip.
The lip that she bit and sucked.
I immediately feel my erection grow.
I can't help it but my hand goes down my abdominals and then wraps around it.
I feel it throbbing, impatient for relief.
I close my eyes and at the thought of her, naked and compliant, I start pumping up and down with my hand.
I imagine my body buried in her warm fold.
I hear her moan my name as I move back and forth inside her, mercilessly.
My face sunk into her neck as I breathe every inch of her skin.
My hand squeezes harder and the pace increases.
I'm close.
I guess I lift my gaze from her body only to meet her beautiful eyes begging me to give her more.
Not to stop me.
And I don't.
Our hips bang against each other violently making a sinful sound.
I come wildly on my hand.
I'm out of breath, with my head down and my heart pumping in my ears at a furious pace.
I open my eyes.
I look at my now relaxed and satisfied cock in my hand and a wave of anger takes over.
I rinse nervously and get out of the shower.
I pass a hand on the fogged mirror and see my reflection, shining eyes and parted lips from the still panting breath.
My chest rising and falling trying to regain the normal rhythm.
I should be worried about her, trying to find a solution.
I shouldn't be standing here in the shower masturbating like any other teenager.
I quickly put on a pair of jeans and a blue shirt, grab my leather jacket and the keys to the motorcycle.
After that I leave the house.
Once on the road I get on the saddle and as soon as I hear the engine roar under me I relax.
Riding my beloved motorcycle relaxes me every time.
And so in the time of the road ahead I mull over my life.
Since I woke up in this new era I believed I had to resign myself to living a life in solitude and instead I found new friends.
A family.
I found my best friend.
I thought I was ok.
That all this was enough for me.
After losing Peggy, I didn't think I'd be able to feel anything for anyone else.
It was my choice to leave her but I would do it again a thousand times.
With my gesture I allowed her to have a better world, a safer place where she could live her life.
And she did.
She found love, she became a mother.
She lived surrounded by people who loved and respected her.
She lived to the full.
Over time, I got used to being self-sufficient.
Until I met her.
From that moment on I realized that maybe I'm not so complete on my own.
That maybe even the great Captain America is nobody without a great woman by his side.
With all these thoughts in mind I arrive at the Avengers tower.
I park my motorcycle and right in front of the entrance I find the delivery man with the pizzas.
I'll take them and hand him the money.
"Do you have a girl, son?" I ask him straight away.
He looks a little surprised by my question but then answers with a huge smile.
"Yes sir.She is at home now.We used to work together but now she is on a forced rest period.She has less than a month to give birth and I try to do a few more shifts to earn some extra"
Although visibly tired I can hear all the pride and joy in his voice.
I smile at him.
"Keep the change"
"Thank you Captain Rogers, I wish you a good evening" he replies back happy to have just earned a $ 20 tip.
Sometimes it doesn't take much to make someone else happy.
I enter and walk towards the elevator.
Once inside I think of that delivery boy.
He sacrifices his every moment for the family.
That boy will soon look his son in his eyes for the first time and he will know it was worth it.
All his hard work will be rewarded.
Love is sacrifice.
And I'm ready to sacrifice all my time and energy if that would mean finding her and being able to hold her close to me.
The elevator bling brings me back to reality.
I enter the large living room only to cross it and head towards the kitchen.
In the meantime, I try to put on a calm and relaxed expression.
Bucky and Natasha are from behind and are laughing, I lean against the door jamb and watch them.
It's nice to see how much they have bonded over time, they are both very important to me and I'm glad they get along.
"Anyone hungry?Buck you owe me 25 dollars.I'm tired of always paying for you!" I tease him.
"Sure man, thanks!" he replies without turning around.
I roll my eyes knowing it will never happen.
I smile at Nat , she has turned towards me now.
She returns my smile even if the look she gives me is veiled by a certain concern.
"Hey hunk, are you okay?"
Maybe I'm not that good at hiding my thoughts after all.
Now even Bucky has turned in my direction and from his gaze I know that now I can no longer hide my real feelings.
"Not again buddy..." my friend sighs in frustration.
"Why are you letting her treat you like that?"
Great.
Now he's mad at me.
"Woah woah woah!What are you talking about?Who are you talking about?" Nat interjects, placing a hand on Bucky's vibranium arm, just enough to get his attention.
She knows that if she asked me I would not answer her.
Instead my best friend apparently can't wait to share my secrets with the world.
I look down at my hands that still hold the pizza.
I hear Bucky sigh.
"Captain Idiot is getting treated like a idiot by a stupid little girl"
I feel the blood rising to my brain.
I take a step in his direction and slam the pizza on the counter.
"Don't you dare.Don't you dare talk about her like that.You don't know anything!"
I turn on my heels and walk out of that room.
Bucky is one of the most important people in my life and I would never want to tell him something that can hurt him, something that I need to regret.
I feel suffocated.
Obviously they both follow me.
If Natasha on one hand tries to calm me down and try to understand what is happening on the other hand, Bucky keeps teasing me.
I know he just wants to provoke me to finally let me vent...and he does it very well.
"Ok, Rogers who is this woman?" Nat asks me.
She is now between me and Bucky, her arms crossed in front of her chest.
She seems worried that I might hit my friend at any moment, I mentally roll my eyes.
As if I ever could.
"I met her a short time ago" I reply but Bucky doesn't give me time to continue, which he immediately adds
"And he fell in love with her like an idiot without even knowing who she is"
But shouldn't he be the one who should always support me?
"What is your problem?"
"My problem is that I don't want to see you suffer!You really don't get it?Jesus Christ Steve, wake up!"
I am petrified by his words.
But I calm down.
I know he only wants my good.
"I know man.Sorry, sorry if I yelled at you"
"Don't worry.I behaved like a real asshole.Sorry!"
"Okay, lovebirds.Save this for when you are alone.Now would someone explain to me what the hell is going on?"
Now Natasha Romanoff is angry.
I gather all the courage I have and tell her everything.
She listens all the time in absolute silence.
"Okay.And what happened tonight?Did she go away again?"
I don't know where to begin.
I'm afraid of their reaction but I try.
"She told me that she can't stay with me because...because we belong to two different worlds"
God!
Only the thought tears my soul apart.
"What do you mean?" tries to understand the redhead.
"She is convinced that I, this reality, are a dream.In the evening she falls asleep in her bed and wakes up here in New York.She doesn't know how or why"
I see Bucky roll his eyes.
His response was not long in coming.
"Are you serious man?"
Exactly.
I look away from his eyes.
Mine are full of shame now.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Nat punching him in the center of the chest and my friend immediately after massaging the affected area.
"What makes you believe in her words?" Natasha asks me softly.
That's why we are friends.
She always knows how to get me.
"Because she disappeared into thin air just as I was hugging her.One moment she was in my arms and I was kissing her" I answer embarrassed "and the next moment there was a glow and she disappeared.Gone"
Both of them are speechless.
Torn between the desire to believe me and the desire to laugh.
But from my expression they understand how serious I am.
Especially how I feel destroyed by it all.
Unexpectedly, the first to speak is Bucky.
"Damn man, I'm sorry.What can we do to track her down?"
I look at him without understanding
"What?" he continues "I saw her, I talked to her.She is real.I know you are telling the truth and I want to help you.Besides, I don't think you want to give up like that so tell us your plan and we will help you"
I see Natasha nodding.
"I only know her name.And her hometown" I admit disconsolately.
"This is a great starting point.You'll see that we will find her" saying Nat hugs me.
I feel a little more confident in the future.
Let's all go back to the kitchen.
We sit around the table and start enjoying our pizza.
For a while we remain silent.
"So Rogers fell in love, huh?" chirps Natasha happy.
"I'm not in love"
"Oh yeah, you should see when he's with her, he looks like a boiled fish!"
Bucky teases me while he continues to chew a piece of pizza.
I remain silent, impassive.
I try to focus only on food.
Nat obviously continues.
"Is she cute at least?"
"Choose your next words carefully, Buck..."
Only when I see two heads turning towards me at the same time I realize that I have spoken aloud.
Damn.
"No, he's not in love"
Bucky replies to Natasha and together they burst into laughter.
I can't help it and I smile too.
"I don't know if it's love but I feel connected to her inexplicably.From the first moment I saw her I realized that if I didn't try to know her I would regret it all my life"
I admit candidly aloud for the first time.
"Soul mates" the redhead say solemnly.
"Do you really believe in this nonsense?" Bucky teases her.
She looks at him but not worthy him of an answer, turns to me as if Bucky hadn't even spoken.
"Come on, give us all the details" Natasha says as she serves up another slice of pizza.
"Virtually nothing.I know her name and her city, or at least the city where she thinks she lives."
"What makes you say this?Do you think that if we went there she wouldn't be there?"
"Exactly" I reply letting me get a bit of discomfort
"The first time we spoke she told me that she would like to live in New York but she could not move"
"So something or someone is stopping her"
Bucky comes to the same conclusion as me.
I nod.
"Plus she seems to have temporal knowledge but she had no idea who I was.Who Captain America was.Or who the Avengers were.I think she lives in a deliberately modified reality"
"Ok, but why?What is the reason?Is she dangerous?The powers that need to be kept under control?" she murmurs thoughtfully to herself.
I had never considered this hypothesis.
A shiver runs down my spine.
"Some time ago I heard Strange and Stark talking about the multiverse and astral travel but not understanding very much I couldn't follow the speech" murmurs Bucky thoughtfully.
We are at a standstill.
"Tomorrow morning we'll take a jet and head to Brookville.Why are you looking at me like that?" Natasha asks.
"Fury owes me a favor, he won't ask questions"
We finish eating in silence.
"Do you think this is a good idea?" I desperately need their approval.
"Listen Steve, Romanoff is right!We have to start somewhere and Brookville could be a good starting point" says Bucky.
I get up to clear the table and my friends help me.
I start to go to my room but I stop at the door.
"Ok, see you tomorrow morning at 6 o'clock".
And so saying I go to my room hoping to be able to sleep at least a few hours.

??? POV
Unknown location

I am sitting at my desk.
Doctor Avery standing in front of me.
"Give me the latest updates"
"Subject 94941 was revived twice in the last 30 minutes.No intubation required.It does not seem life threatening but is weakening much faster than we estimated.The Stone is slowly absorbing all his life energy.If we want him to survive we should wake him up"
"Absolutely not" I reply with all the authority I am capable of.
"Doctor remember what happened years ago?Remember why the subject was placed in cryogenesis until we figured out how to sit him down without compromising his vital functions?Remember that he nearly killed you and two of your colleagues?We can't risk him awakening or even run away"
"I know sir but we don't have much time left.It is true that the stone protects the body that hosts it by attacking everything that tries to damage it but in these particular conditions the stone is just limiting itself to feeding on this body.And maybe...maybe the way to have the stone for us involves the participation of the subject actively"
"Explain yourself better Doctor Avery, I'm afraid not to follow you..."
"From our numerous researches it has emerged that the extraction of the stone it takes place through some magical rituals that we are not aware of, let alone know how to implement.But perhaps there is another way.That is that the subject voluntarily decides to give us the stone" concludes the doctor.
"The subject will never consent" my voice trembling with anger.
"Then we should make sure that he wants it" admits my interlocutor candidly.
"To use something he loves to bend it to our will"

Steve POV

I can not believe it.
It's 2:00 AM.
For hours I have been observing the ceiling and the city reflecting on it.
As soon as I got into bed, much to my surprise, I fell asleep right away.
Only to wake up after 45 minutes and not be able to go back to sleep.
I feel nervous about this trip to Brookville.
What if everything ended in nothing?
What if there's no answer for me?
I do not know how to behave.
Steve Rogers, the self-confident one, the man who always has a plan, now...niw he doesn't have a plan.
I feel like I'm groping in the dark and about to drag my friends down with me.
Maybe I shouldn't let them, maybe I should get them to stay.
Convince them that the best solution is to go alone.
I can't stay in bed anymore so I decide to get up.
Barefoot, I head to the kitchen to drink some water but as soon as I get down I notice that there is already someone in the kitchen sitting in the dim light.
"Trouble with sleep, pal?"
I recognize his voice immediately.
"Yeah.You?Why are you still awake?"
I see Bucky sighing and looking beyond the large windows where the New York skyline expands as far as the eye can see.
It's no longer the city we two belonged to.
It has changed, it has grown.
A bit like the two of us.
He turns to me, he is trying to analyze my state of mind so I try to shift his attention to something else.
"If I asked you a question would you be honest with me?"
I can see the confusion in his eyes.
"I am always honest with you"
"What did you say to Lily, in front of the door of my house just before I arrived?"
I am genuinely curious.
Bucky, on the other hand, is uncomfortable, I perceive it from small gestures.
He shifts his weight from foot to foot and repeatedly runs his hand through his hair pulling it from the root.
He can't look me in the eye.
"Buck I'm not angry, really!I'm just curious" I smile trying to give him some courage to make him answer.
"I...I told her I did not believe her.I did not believe in her real interest in you.And that I would protect you from her at all costs"
His words are full of embarrassment.
I squint my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose with my fingertips.
I love Bucky but he is overly protective at times.
I think he still sees me as the skinny guy from Brooklyn.
He unexpectedly keeps talking.
"I really thought so, until I saw her look at you when she saw you coming with Sharon.Nobody can fake such intense pain"
I feel dizzy.
How could she have thought even for a moment that I wanted someone else when I could have her by my side?
"And then man, when you kissed her she literally went up in flames"
We both laugh.
"So if you want to know if it's worth it to me the answer is yes.You could be really happy together.And I just want that, that you are happy.I want you to put yourself ahead of everything else for once in your life.And if you need her for that, so be it!"
"Does that mean you like her now?" I tease him a little bit.
"Nope" he laughs.
"But I'm willing to give her a chance"
"And you Bucky?When will you think to find someone to love?" I ask him worried.
Bucky is a good and righteous man.
He is just a victim.
Yet he continues to see himself as the villain, as the man to be punished for all the crimes committed by the Winter Soldier.
As if he had a choice.
"Nah...I don't have time for this.I have an idiot friend to help"
We both laugh out loud and head to our rooms.
"Rest Steve, tomorrow you will need all your strength.And me and Natasha will be there for you"
"Thanks Bucky, thanks for everything.Goodnight brother"
"Goodnight bro"
So saying each of us enters our own room.
I lie on the bed closing my eyes and praying that everything will be for the best tomorrow.

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