Astral Lovers

CHAPTER 13

Lily POV

New York covered in snow is one of those spectacles that must be experienced at least once in a lifetime.
This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn with a strange glow illuminating the room.
I got out of bed very slowly, being careful not to wake up my wonderful and beautiful boyfriend still wrapped in Morpheus's arms.
I slipped out of his grip and with a light step I went to the large window.
At the sight of the majestic snow-covered skyscrapers my heart did a somersault, the lights of the cars already on the street and the first rays of the sun reflected in an almost magical way on the white blanket creating plays of light and small rainbows.
A Christmas Eve worthy of a movie, with white snow, surrounded by the people I love.
People who have now become my family.
A shiver of cold runs down my back, I'm barefoot and I'm wearing only a pair of panties and one of Steve's sweaters.
Even though Natasha has practically given me half of her wardrobe I can't stop the urge to wear sweaters or shirts that belong to him, I love to feel the trail of his scent on me.
I rub my arms with my own hands trying to generate some heat, I want to go back to bed but I can't take my eyes off the snowy skyline.
A slight snore catches my attention.
I giggle softly, turning my face towards the king size bed that occupies the room.
Steve is sleeping on his stomach, one arm under the pillow and the other stretched out on my side of the bed.
His silky honey blonde hair falls in messy locks across his forehead, his long pale lashes brushing his perfect cheekbones and his plump lips parted in a little O.
My God he's so beautiful that takes my breath away.
Practically perfect he is the boyfriend any woman could ever want.
Sweet, caring and with an innate ability to deliver orgasms.
A flush of heat assails me at the thought of how he has made me cum these days, how many times he has done so.
My body always seems ready and burning for him, no matter if I'm tired or I just cum, he doesn't take much to make me burn again with passion.
A couple of times I tried to reciprocate, to take the initiative, but he always blocked me telling me I had to recover.
That was his idea how to take care of me.
And he did it, several times.
With a stupid smile I turn back to the window but a pang of pain takes my breath away, which comes out with a hiss from my lips.
I look nervously at Steve, hoping he hasn't heard me.
Luckily he still sleeps.
I don't want him to worry about me anymore, anymore than he already is and above all I would like to avoid yet another lecture on my reckless behavior.
Because as soon as we got on the jet, on the day of my rescue, after kisses and hugs full of emotion and making sure my injuries weren't fatal he obviously started yelling at me.
I had to put up with 15 minutes of his relentless anger, of his endless reproaches about how foolish I was for not sticking to his plan.
He only stopped when Strange, my father, stepped between us and threatened to send him to the other side of the world with a snap of his fingers.
Obviously since that day he hates him and has asked me several times to move with him to the Sanctuary.
I am between two fires and I do not know what to do, I would really like to spend time with my father but I can not tear myself away from Steve.
I raise my eyes to the sky exhausted by all this and I put a hand on my cracked rib, with small breaths I try to recover.
Which then honestly Steve's plan, in my eyes, was really stupid.
It consisted in me that I had to do absolutely nothing, according to him I should have stood still without doing anything.
Absurd.
As if I ever could.
So when I left him instead of standing still in my mental prison I did what I did last time and although I already knew it would be painful and scary I didn't hesitate for a moment and after throwing myself against that kind of barrier on the suburb of Brookville I woke up.
I remember reopening my eyes in the same clean and aseptic room last time with the only difference that there was an alarm that sounded non-stop and this could only mean one thing.
That Steve and the others were there, they had managed to break in.
And I couldn't sit idle knowing that my friends, that Steve, were risking their lives for me so I opened the door to face the enemy and do my part.
But obviously I wasn't prepared for what I would find.
Five men were lined up in front of me armed with batons, no guns because they had orders to take me alive.
As soon as I took a step forward I was literally attacked and knocked to the ground.
In order I received repeated batons on the head, a boot was planted in my face and I was kicked over and over again between the stomach and the back.
I thought I was going to die but I didn't care, I just thought that if I went to the bottom I would take as many as possible with me so I concentrated and tried to recall all the power of the Stone to me.
A blue light enveloped my body and in no time a burst of energy overwhelmed anyone who was near to me.
I got up and with great effort I started walking down the corridor in front of me until I came across a dead end point.
Taken by despair, I turned to look for another path but McTavish and Avery appeared in front of me.
With my heart in my throat I tried to go around they without ever turning my back on they, to try to gain the right position and if I had succeeded I would have tried to escape.
I will never be able to forget his glacial look, full of hate, as if the 15 years he spents to growing me up had never existed.
I had no idea how I was going to get out of that situation but thank goodness Steve and Bucky came to my aid in that moment.
So the sutures on the lip and those on the head were now on the mend but unfortunately the rib would take a little longer and this meant that every jolt of pain was matched by Steve's angry and worried look.
I bring my mind back to the present and sigh.
Although here I am super pampered by everyone I can't shake off the idea that the scary part of my adventure is yet to come, it was all too simple and McTavish would never have let me go if he wasn't sure that things would be go on his favor.
Anxiety is about to assail me when I feel two strong arms tighten around me.
"Good morning honey" Steve's sleepy voice slows my heartbeat and brings me back to a state of tranquility.
"Good morning to you, sleeping beauty" I giggle amused.
I hear his laugh through my hair and his lips pressing on the back of my neck.
Another shiver runs down my spine but this time it's not from the cold.
"What are you doing?It's not even 7 in the morning"
"Snow!" I reply excitedly and his gaze moves immediately to the window.
We hold each other like this for a few more minutes, him behind me with his chin resting on my head and his arms wrapped around my waist.
I lean against his body and cross my fingers to his.
"I thought Pepper gave you pajamas, why don't you wear them?" Steve asks me.
I shrug and simply reply "You know I prefer to wear your clothes"
I hear him chuckle.
"You're right.You look much better dressed like this" his words are accompanied by his hands that go down to caress my thighs.
I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth of his expert hands caressing my body.
Then remaining in his arms I turn my head back just enough to reach his lips with mine.
"Hey" I whisper on his lips after kissing him.
He smiles at me.
"Hey, beautiful" he replies and kisses my forehead and then he goes back to looking out the window.
"How about if we go for a walk after having breakfast?The snow in New York must be lived, we can't stay indoors"
Steve's words are so full of enthusiasm that I can't help but smile, I turn around in his arms and lifting myself up on tiptoes I leave a little kiss on his jaw.
"I would say it's an excellent idea my handsome Captain" I whisper on the skin of his neck between kisses.
He grabs my face in his hands and looks at me with so much love that I cannot help but consider myself lucky even if...even if there is always that little unhappy part inside me.
That part of me that not cares that I have finally found friends, family and love.
That part of me that will never stop screaming in my head, that voice that will forever ask me who are you?
And then in addition to that annoying voice there is the thought of my mother.
I feel my eyes moisten so I turn back to the window hoping to go unnoticed by Steve's eyes.
I close my eyes and try to take a few deep breaths to bring my heartbeat back to a humanly acceptable rhythm.
"Is everything okay, my love?"
Shit.
Obviously, nothing escapes him.
I wear one of the most convincing smiles I am capable of and walking away from him I try to answer him without collapsing.
"Sure babe!I'm excited for our daily plans" I answer him by heading towards his large closet and plunging into it looking for something to wear.
I grab a black legging and one of my favorite sweaters of him, the champagne-colored cashmere one, and try to head for the bathroom.
I try because I am immediately stopped by the immense body of Steve who stands in front of me blocking the passage, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his sharp eyes trying to understand what is wrong.
"What?" I ask pretending indifference as I dodge him as I pass him.
"What happens?Why do you have that face?"
"I have no face Steve.Relax" I yell at him from the bathroom.
I look at myself in the mirror and I hate myself for lying to him, he doesn't deserve it but I also don't want to always seem the pathetic girl in his eyes.
I turn on the tap and splash my face with water, when I look up in the mirror I immediately notice the reflection of Steve watching me.
"Why are you lying to me?" he asks me, his eyes are full of sorrow.
I look down on my hands and continue to wash my face and then switch to my teeth, all this always in silence without answering his question.
I go back to my room, passing by him with a downcast look.
And then only after getting dressed I answer him.
"I want to go to Brookville" I say in one breath.
He looks at me for a few seconds with a surprised expression, I take advantage of his silence to continue talking.
"I don't want to seem ungrateful, here I have everything I want.I've got you. But I miss my home, there are all the memories of my childhood.I don't even have a picture of my mother here with me" I sniff at him.
"I need to go back to Brookville.I need to go to my mother's grave.I understand if you don't want to accompany me..."
"Why shouldn't I want to?" Steve interrupts me.
I sigh.
This is another of my biggest worries.
I'm almost afraid to tell him about it but I think this is the right time.
"Steve, I don't want you to be with me because you think you have to" I reply quickly.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
I watch him laugh nervously.
I slowly approach him.
"Just promise me you'll let me talk without interrupting me" I ask shyly.
"Sure honey but honestly you're scaring me now"
He's agitated, I can tell from his stiff posture.
"Steve I don't want you to feel compelled to love me just because you're sorry for what I've been through in the last few years, I don't want your pity"
Steve seems ready to retort but I immediately put my hand on his lips.
"You promised it.Let me explain"
Steve nods without letting out a breath.
"Thanks.So...I was saying...I love you, I really love you babe!And not because you are the first man to ever show interest in me.I love you because you are a good, kind man.You are a righteous man and full of sound principles.And you deserve the best in life.It has been taken away from you so much that it takes my breath away from the pain and that is why I want your happiness more than anything else even if it means letting you go.I want you to be able to really love someone with all your heart.Not out of a sense of duty.Oh Christ...I don't want you to see me as a puppy that needs help.I don't want to inspire tenderness.I'm not saying that you don't love me or that you have lied to me about your feelings so far but maybe you just have to stop for a moment and look at everything from another point of view"
I talked all the time looking into his eyes, I don't even know where I found all this courage but now that he is watching me in silence I can no longer hold his blue gaze like a summer sky.
"Ok...are you done?" his voice sends a shiver down my spine.
I murmur an imperceptible "Yeah"
"Ok,I really don't know what to say...I..." and suddenly Steve starts laughing.
Not a simple laugh but a real full-blown laugh.
He laughs so much that he is forced to place his hands on his knees to hold on.
I look at him totally stunned.
"I'm sorry honey, I'm so sorry but..." and he starts laughing nonstop again.
I absolutely don't know how to react, I don't understand if I must be angry about his reaction.
I can not help but observe him with a stupid expression on my face and wait for him to give me an explanation.
I watch him return to an upright position, he puts his hands on his hips and looks up at the ceiling as if he trying to regain some composure.
"I'm sorry.I know you weren't expecting such a reaction"
He starts talking even though he's still shaken by short laughs.
He approaches me but I walk away a few steps crossing my arms over my chest, I feel a little pissed off by his reaction.
He raises his hands in surrender.
"Ok ok, I pissed you off.I'm sorry" he replies.
"Listen Lily, I...I almost feel moved by your words.Thank you for caring so much about me that you are willing to let me go.I thank you but I assure you that it is not necessary.I love you baby, I really love you.I love who you are.I don't feel compelled to love you, I love you because my heart says so"
I melt a little from the rigid position I had assumed by freeing my palms from the torture of my nails stuck in the flesh.
He approaches again but this time I don't move, I let him get closer.
He smiles and grabs my hands and kisses them both.
"You are a strong and fantastic woman and even if it costs me some effort, I must admit that the fact that you have fought for your life does you honor.You were really great and brave.Sure irresponsible and totally out of your mind but very brave"
I roll my eyes at his last remark and he smiles again.
He wraps me in his big, warm arms and holds me close to him.
We stay like this for I don't know how long then Steve whispers to me "What do you say if we eat something and then we ask Nat if she can take us to Brookville?"
"Would you really do it?But today is Christmas Eve, I don't want to bother anyone" I whisper on his t-shirt, his scent overwhelms me.
"Hey look at me!You don't bother me and Nat, you know she would do anything for you" Steve tells me, pulling a lock of hair behind my ear.
"Thank you" I murmur on his lips, he kisses me again in response and much more intensely.
His tongue caresses my lips and then pushes inside them, Steve's hands go down to my sides and slips them under my sweater.
My skin is covered with chills.
I hug him tightly, clinging to the muscles of his arms, his skin burns in contact with mine.
I feel the usual fire starting to burn inside of me so I detach myself from him and walk around him heading towards the door, he looks at me confused.
His expression is really funny and I can't help but laugh.
"Don't make that face Stevie.Let's go have breakfast" so saying I open the door and go to the kitchen leaving him alone.
A little revenge for his stupid laughs.
I enter the kitchen and I am pleased to see that Natasha and James are already having breakfast.
"Good morning" I chirp in an excellent mood.
"Good morning" Nat replies.
"Good morning to you.We're in a great mood this morning, huh?" Bucky asks me, without even giving me time to answer, adds "Where is Steve?"
I smile thinking about how I dropped him.
"He was getting dressed and I was too hungry to wait for him" I reply chewing on a piece of bacon that I stole straight from Bucky's plate.
"Seduced and abandoned for some food.My poor friend, what a horrible end he has made" the former Winter Soldier sighs theatrically.
I roll my eyes and Natasha shakes her head disconsolately.
"So are you busy for today?" the redhead asks me, I bite my thumbnail while I wait for my tea to be ready.
"Actually yes but I would need your help"
"Of course!What do you need?" she asks me, always available and sweet.
I move a little uncomfortably, I don't want to mess with his Christmas Eve.
"You know what?Forget it Nat, today is Christmas Eve and I don't want to ruin anyone's plans.Let's dobit another day"
She looks at me confused and as soon as she is about to answer me Steve's voice rings clear in the room.
"You should fly a jet to Brookville, we'll be away for a couple of hours no more"
"Steve!" I reproach him promptly.
"That's not the case really.We can make it another day"
I turn to Natasha as I slap my boyfriend on the chest.
Nat smiles at me softly.
"It's okay Lily, I have nothing planned until tonight"
"Really?" I replied slightly excited by my friend's generosity.
"Of course!See you in 20 minutes on the jet"
We hug each other in a short hug and then she leaves the kitchen.
There is only me and Bucky who continue to nibble bacon from the same plate and Steve leaning against the kitchen counter intent on drinking coffee and he continues to look at me with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" I ask with my mouth full of food, Steve shakes his head amusedly.
"Nothing" he replies with a chuckle.
Bucky turns to me and steals the last piece of bacon from my hand.
"Hey, it was mine!" I complain.
"You're eating from my plate doll, the last piece is rightfully mine"
"What idiotic logic!" I reply laughing.
"My dish my rules" he replies with a shrug.
"Anyway, can I come to Brookville too?"
I look at him smiling slyly.
"Of course" I answer him.
"Really?Great!I don't know what to do here all by myself..."
I interrupt him in mid-sentence.
"Of course not!" I tell him.
At first he looks at me with the face of someone who has fallen from the clouds but then as soon as he realizes I'm joking he gives me a playful punch.
"Witch!"
"Asshole!"
We laugh like two idiots.
"If you're done acting like two kindergarten children, we have to go.Nat just wrote me a message where she says she's ready to take off"
Steve watches us and talks to us as if we were really three-year-olds.
"Yes sir" I answer, standing up giving him the military salute.
His eyes widen, for a moment I'm sure I saw a flash of lust in them.
He walks slowly over and after spanking my ass he whispers in a low, almost guttural tone "Keep that nickname for the bedroom"
Bucky next to me obviously heard everything and his amused laugh echoes throughout the room.
I think I am red from the tip of my hair to the tip of my toes, not so much from shame but from the promise hidden in his words.
"Rogers take it easy on the little girl.I think her heart stopped for a few seconds" Barnes chuckles after passing us and exiting the kitchen.
Steve and I stay a few more seconds staring at each other intensely.
Then his gaze returns clear and full of sweetness, he holds out his hand to me.
"Let's go?" he asks me.
"Let's go" I reply grabbing his hand.