Astral Lovers

CHAPTER 8

Steve POV

"I'm sorry Steve.I swear I would have spent my life with you if it had been possible"
This is the only sentence that has been ringing in my head since the jet took off.
Before the sun rose this morning, we headed out of New York to one of the hangars belonging to S.H.I.E.L.D.
As promised by Natasha no one asked any questions and Fury had already prepared everything we needed for us.
Now we are in flight, sitting in religious silence.
Natasha is at the controls.
Bucky, on the other hand, keeps giving me anxious glances, believing that I don't notice.
I think he is afraid I might have a mental breakdown at any moment.
The first to speak since the jet took off is Nat.
"Ok guys, the course is set.We are flying off the radar and the audio and video recording devices are disabled.There is no evidence or trace of what we are doing.Arrival is expected in about 40 minutes"
I sigh.
I feel relieved.
The fewer people involved in this, the better.
What if it turns out that Lily is dangerous?
What if she can't come into contact with our world?
Ever since Nat put this thing into my head, I can't rest easy.
Actually, I should have already thought about it myself.
The way she moves between space/time is not a normal human ability.
If we add to the fact that she does it unconsciously it is even more concerning.
What would be the extent of her power if she used it consciously?
Is she really that dangerous or is she in the hands of the wrong people?
I really don't know what would be worse.
"Thank you Natasha" I say with a smile that does not reach my eyes.
"Please Buck stop looking at me like this, you freak me out"
I sigh heavily as I free myself from the safety harness.
I get up and start nervously towards the tail Bucky makes my own gestures and follows me.
"Sorry buddy, I just want to make sure you're okay" he admits.
"Whatever we find here today won't be easy"
"I know" I admit.
"I think I've been mentally prepared for the worst"
"Please will you stop?Why the hell do you have to act like a drama queen?You're unbearable"
Nat lets us know what she thinks of us from her desk.
"Oh I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like a good idea to fill his head with everything will be fine bullshit!We are adults and aware, it is better to be ready for anything" my best friend snaps.
The redhead rolls her eyes without giving him time to finish his speech, which she immediately replies.
"Even thinking about the worst doesn't help either.Can we just wait and see how things turn out?You're a little too gloomy Barnes"
"For God's sake, would you two want to stop?"
I feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"Why do you have to fight about everything?"
They look like two kindergarten children.
Natasha engages the autopilot and after getting up she walks over to me.
She puts a hand on my arm.
"Sorry Steve.We're all a little nervous"
"Romanoff is right.This trip is an unknown and today we could find answers to questions that maybe we shouldn't even know"
Bucky looks out and keeps talking.
"What if we stir something big with our curiosity?Things like time and space travel can attract the attention of the wrong people.And we are only three"
"Three of the best"
the former Russian spy points out.
Bucky smiles joylessly.
"We may be the best but we are still three.I think we should have told someone else in case we needed help.I know you don't want anyone to know anything about her until we have a big picture of the situation, I'm only concerned for your safety"
I understand Bucky's concern.
"I know bro but I can assure you that if the situation were to precipitate I would not hesitate to contact the base.Or S.H.I.E.L.D. Your safety comes first for me" I say.
A beep warns us that we are almost at our destination.
Each of us takes our place again.
Nat takes off the autopilot and resumes the controls.
We are flying over Indiana, the green extends visibly.
Nat is looking for a fairly flat spot to land and hide our jet.
Right on the edge of the city of Brookville are dense clusters of trees.
Natasha is an excellent pilot and with a few maneuvers, fast and clean, she manages to land in the middle of a small clearing hidden among the trees.
Before going down we better hide our weapons under the civilian clothes we wear.
I opted for light jeans and a blue sweatshirt, hidden under the sweatshirt is a gun.
I hate guns but Natasha insisted that none of us three were totally unarmed.
And my shield cannot go unnoticed so the gun seemed to me the best alternative.
I lower the visor of my baseball cap to my eyes and adjust my glasses to my nose.
We must try to go unnoticed as much as possible.
Three Avengers running around town would attract too much attention.
Natasha wears simple black leather pants and a white tank top and a brown leather jacket with a hood that she has arranged to lift over her head.
Under her jacket she hides her inevitable and adored batons.
Bucky instead wears dark jeans and a red sweatshirt.
He also opted for a baseball cap.
Inside the belt of his trousers are his knives.
We walk towards the edge of the city.
Watchful and attentive looks.
It all seems pretty quiet.
The roads are not very busy, at this time of the day most of the people are at work.
The street is lined on both sides by low-rise buildings, mostly built with mornings ranging from red to orange.
There is peace.
Quiet.
The opposite of New York.
We walk a few more minutes and a sign tickles my memory.
I slow down until I stop, my teammates don't notice it.
"Cougars Bar" I whisper.
This is the bar where she told me she works.
"Hey guys, stop" I yell calling for their attention.
They stop abruptly, looking around, and then turn their full attention to me.
With my hand I signal them to join me.
"This is the bar where she works, or in the end she should work there"
I am anxious.
"Ok, let's go in.I recommend casually.Let's order something and try to gather as much information as possible" Bucky begins confidently.
I envy him.
In this moment I lose all my self-confidence.
We go in and take a seat at the table further down near the window.
From here we have a great view of everything.
A very tall, muscular man with short red hair approaches us.
"Hi I'm Jhon.Welcome to the Cougars Bar.What can I bring you?"
"Three coffees.Two blacks, one with milk.Thanks"
This time it's Nat talking.
I can't seem to say a word, mentally I'm zoned out.
The man marks our order, his muscular arms full of tattoos which seem to dance on his skin following the rhythm of the pen that scratches on the paper.
"I'll be right back" so he says he walks away.
"How the hell do we get out of here?" Bucky begins
"Did you see how big that guy is?You ask the wrong question and he beats you to hell"
"What's Barnes, fear?" teases the redhead.
I join her laugh.
"I'm not scary, my arm is in vibranium and the super soldier serum runs through my veins!I'm just saying we have to do everything we can to stay under the radar.I have a bad vibes, guys"
After a while Jhon comes back with the coffees.
"Quiet morning" begins Natasha blinking her long lashes in the direction of the bartender.
"Yes, it's always like this here.For the partying you have to wait for the weekend.Brookville is a peaceful and quiet little town.You're not from here, are you?I don't think I've ever seen you" Jhon seems intrigued.
"No we're just passing through.We wanted to say hello to an old friend of ours.We know he lives here in Brookville but we don't have his home address"
I try to appear as relaxed as possible, so I continue.
"Let's just say that for 20 minutes we have been practically spinning around in circles"
All three are giggling a little.
"Here, we all know each other.Maybe I can help you"
Perfect.
He took the bait.
At that moment another customer enters the bar.
Jhon apologizes by promising to come back immediately and walks away to serve the new customer.
"I think it's better to ask about the father, let's not talk about her.Let's take it away"
Nat suggests.
Bucky nods.
"Ok here we are, he's coming back" I mutter between my teeth.
The other customer is sitting at the counter enjoying his coffee.
"Who are you looking for?" Jhon asks us.
"We're looking for Dr. Ross.Philiph Ross"
Jhon's expression changes.
That's not a good sign.
"The doctor doesn't live here anymore, I'm sorry"
Damn
"Couldn't give us some more news?"
I hear Bucky ask.
Do I notice the guy at the counter watching us?Will he have recognized us?
"No I'm sorry" all traces of kindness and cordiality have disappeared, replaced by a wall of hostility.
Jhon walks away with great strides.
His shoulders hunched.
It seems that the topic of this speech has aged him 20 years.
I knew this could have happened but I still feel overwhelmed by the events.
She is not here.
Who knows where she is.
Heartbroken I sigh, better not to push any further.
I nod to the others, it's time to go.
I'll find my answers elsewhere.
We pay for our coffees and greet him as if nothing had happened.
Once outside I tear off my glasses and hat.
I furiously run my hands through my hair.
What trouble am I getting into?
Am I chasing my friends in that trouble?
Nat is about to speak when a voice behind us reaches us.
He's the guy who walked into the bar after us.
"You have to excuse Jhon but despite 10 years have passed he is still very shaken by the Ross family thing.We all are a little bit.Follow me" he waves us his hand and crosses the street.
Bucky shakes his head as if to say don't bullshit, stay here! but obviously I doesn't listen to him.
This may be the only chance for a good lead.
I follow the man and my two friends, after exchanging a worried glance, follow me.
A few meters further there is a cemetery.
The man enters and stops in front of the first tombstones.
They are of white marble.
Shiny and full of fresh flowers.
Gilded engravings to enrich them.
I reach the mysterious man and stop beside him.
"There was a big explosion in the pharmaceutical company where Dr. Ross worked 10 years ago"
The man begins his story.
Bucky and Nat are behind us.
"That day with him were his wife Sophia and his daughter Lily.That poor girl was just 15 years old, she went to school with my son Paul.They found their bodies under the rubble only after 2 days of searching.It was an immense pain for the community.Sophia and Lily were very similar.Beautiful, good.Two kind and sunny women.Philiph was destroyed.A year later he left Brookville and no one ever saw him again.Until 2 years ago we learned the news of his suicide.A horrible end, a wonderful family destroyed"
My vision becomes blurred.
I feel wavering.
In front of me is her tombstone, her name engraved on it.
I feel Bucky's strong hands assert me by the shoulders, his voice seems far away.
Muffled.
"It's okay pal, breathe"
I hear Natasha exchanging a few more words with the man and thanks him, he goes away throwing me worried looks.
I feel like I'm going to throw up, my head is spinning.
I can't breath.
I feel my friend's hands pushing me down, shortly after I feel the fresh grass beneath me.
Natasha's face appears in my field of vision, fear and sorrow in her eyes.
She gently tries to make me lower my head between my legs.
I hear the words panic attack and immediately understand their intentions.
Therefore I indulge them.
I lift my knees and put my head in the middle, raise my arms to cover my head.
I try to breathe deeply.
After what seems like hours to me I feel in control of myself again but I can't look up at my friends.
I am ashamed of how I feel, how I am reacting.
I feel their eyes on me.
I take a last deep breath and look up at them.
In their eyes there's so much pain for me.
"It's late"
My words are just a slight broken sound.
I clear my throat, feeling the tears push behind my lowered eyelids.
"She no longer exists"
"Do you really want to give up like this?"
I look at my best friend without understanding.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do brother? Jesus Christ!She died!What the fuck do you want me to do?"
I'm screaming with all the anger in my body.
I know it's not his fault, I shouldn't scream at him.
"Don't do that, don't beat yourself up.We keep searching,digging"
"Bucky what the hell are you saying?But are you listening to yourself?"
"And you?Are you listening?We both saw her, did she look like a 15-year-old girl?Did we see a ghost?" he laughs without enthusiasm.
"Wherever she is now she is a grown woman, and maybe she is also in danger.We won't give up like this, not now!"
I can't think rationally, I can't go on with this now.
I stand up, my gaze fixed on her tombstone.
Elisabeth Ross, loving daughter.Sweet and loyal friend.
08/13/1996 ~ 09/15/2011
Bucky is about to speak again but Nat stops him, puts a hand on his chest.
"Not now James, let's leave him alone for a few minutes" she grabs his hand and drags him a little further.
James?
It's really weird.
Nobody ever calls him that, much less her.
I watch them go away.
He talks, gesticulating animatedly as Natasha watches him with her arms crossed in front of her chest.
When he calms down she places a hand on his shoulder, a hand that he promptly covers with his hand.
A sweet gesture, two intertwined glances that are communicating without the need for words.
At that moment I understand.
A sweet smile breaks my mask of pain.
Was I too busy with myself and my problems to notice what was going on around me?
I'm a really bad friend.
I sigh.
I turn my gaze back to her name engraved on the white marble.
Bucky is right.
She can't be dead.
The woman I met, who I held close to me, who I kissed is an adult.
She knows when we are.
She doesn't know where.
And her mother's death does not coincide with the story she told me.
And according to her, her father is still alive.
There is something strange about this whole story.
Too weird.
I stroke the tombstone.
"I will find you.That's a promise"
And with this whispered promise I return to my friends.