Linkin Undead (Hollywood Undead FanFic)

I dont know why..

This will be a pretty intense chapter. It may have to deal with blood, so if you are one of those people that can't stand blood, I'm warning you now. This chapter will be hard for me to write.

~Jorel~

This has gone on for way to long. I tried and tried to get him off my mind, but it never worked. It was glued inside my mind, and would always be a memory. The thought just made me choke, and made me feel like I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't.

Maybe it shouldn't've been me. I would've enjoyed it more if it was me than him. But that wouldn't make him happy at all.

My brother was amazing. When he went away, everything in my life basically went with. So I'm here, filled with nothing. He was a legend, just a real friend. Just thinking about him made me cringe. It was sad to let him go.

I was home alone. My parents and Spring were out for dinner, which they let me stay home because I didn't want to be social with them. They understood my actions, and let me do anything since I was depressed. They should've thought more, because what I was about to do was going to make them even more upset.

But if they didn't catch me..

The house was silent and empty, so I made my way to the bathroom. My mind was shouting at me to stop. My insides screamed so loud. It was terrible. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about what I was about to do. It was like I couldn't control myself though.

I opened the medicine cabinet. There were some old antibiotics on the middle shelf, on the bottom there was Tylenol to Flintstones vitamins. On the top shelf there were my dad's razors and band aids. I reached up for the razor packet, my hand shaking crazily. It's never done this before. I placed my hand on the packet, leaving it there for a few seconds. My phone buzzed on the sink. Tian.

I stared at it until it was finished vibrating. The noise was loud on the ceramic sink. I took the packet out of the cabinet, then stared at it. My phone went off once again. The noise bothered me. Why the hell was she calling me repeatedly? Tian rarely did that, it was mostly about some crazy thing that happened to her, or just because her feeling were hurt and the only person that would talk to her was me.

I opened the plastic bag, pulling out a new clean, sharp razor. I took a deep breath as I turned it over constantly. The metal shined in the bathroom light, and I looked at myself in the mirror.

Tears streamed down both of my cheeks. I didn't know I was crying, but I guess just thinking about my brother and the memories we made made me break down without noticing. Maybe it was from how depressed I was, and that I was feeling as much pain as I could possibly feel.

"Hey, the next time he messes with you, don't just stand there. I know you're tougher than that." My brother said to me as we walked down the sidewalks from school. My eye was swollen from the previous fight I was in. I didn't think of doing anything since my brother was already behind my back and beating the crap out of them.

"Okay."

"I'll be there, but don't be afraid to throw a fist." He pat me on the back, making me smile just a bit. It was the first day of 5th grade, which didn't turn out so well. I heard him chuckle, "If you wanna be in a gang you gotta know how to fight."

I always wanted to be in a gang. It sounded pretty crazy and entertaining at the same time. I mean, shooting guns at other people that were "bad"? Who wouldn't want to do that?

"Yeah.." Is all I say.

"How about we go get some ice-cream?" He smiled, and I smirked.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea." I beam, running after him down the street.

Now I was here. Staring at myself in the mirror, trying to fix myself. I was never going to see him again, I would never see him marry or have a kid that would be my niece or nephew. I would never see him happy again.

My hands were cold, yet clammy. I pressed the chilly blade against my wrist and started to slowly drag it across my skin. I trail of blood followed, and left a very uneven line. It curved a bit.

It stung a bit, but it was the only thing that seemed to help. It was like I needed the pain. I continued to drag it along various places until it reached the crook of my elbow.

Then, I remembered him talking about death. It was like he was giving me a sign..

"I just think it's so easy.. You know, death.." He says, sitting next to me on the couch. We were home alone. It was nice to have brother time.

"It's terrible though.. Why would you want to kill yourself when you have friends and family that care about you?" I look at him.

My brother just shrugged, staring at his feet on the carpet, "To take the pain away. It's just so easy to put a bullet in your head." He made a gun with his hands and fingers, put it up to his temple and shot. His head slightly went to the side. "I mean, what if I did that?"

I was speechless. I shook my head and shrugged, "I'd be nothing without you. It would be terrible to just see you go that quick.. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

He said it was pretend. But it wasn't. Why would he do that? Why would he even think. When the bullet went through, it took more than just him; it took two. Him and I. How could he be so selfish?! I continued to cut, until I heard the front door swing open.

The blood dripped into the sink. I quickly kicked the door shut, then started to panic.

Who was here?

"Jorel?" I heard her beautiful voice call out.

Tian.

**
~Tian~

There was no answer. I started running down the hall and pushed his room door open. The only thing that was a mess was his bed. The covers were draped onto the floor while the sheets were hidden by the comforter.

"Jorel?" I called out again.

Then something metal sounded like it hit the sink in the bathroom. I walked out of his room slowly and walked to the bathroom door. Maybe Jorel was just using the toilet, and he just didn't want to answer me.

"Just give me a second!" J sobbed hoarsely. He was crying. I could just tell by his voice.

The sink started running, and I just knew something was wrong. I quickly opened the door to see what I thought I would never see. Blood dyed the water a pink as Jorel washed his wrists. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, and the cuts on his wrists were very noticeable.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think or do. I felt like just breaking down and crying. He stared at me with complete horror, and I moved toward him. He backed into the wall.

"Stay away from me!" He sobbed, I noticed he was shaking.

"J, I'm just here to help. I'm here okay?" I calmly say, making my way toward him.

"You won't be after this!" He shouts, "You'll be like, 'oh, it's that kid that cuts, I better stay away from him'!"

"That's bullsh*t!" He shuts up, and I grab and wet a washcloth, "I'd never leave you because of that.."

This made him loosen up his muscles. He sniffled, and I took his arm and dabbed at the wounds. Jorel watched me, and I looked up at his watery eyes. I couldn't stand it. I started to cry.

He pulled me into an embrace with his one arm, which was hardly even cut. Jorel joined in slightly, and we sat there and cried for about 10 minutes straight.