In The Right Key

Chapter 12: No Air

Chapter 12: No Air

In just my few short months being in Forks, I never thought anything like this could happen. I never believed in vampires. I never really gave them a second thought. But then I move to a small town, the town I was born in, and they're there, nonchalantly sitting at a table in the local high school's cafeteria.

I befriended them. I fell in love with one of them. I felt like I had come home, not the place I had returned to every day to either one of my parents, but the place I felt right and like I fit in.

I can barely stand to be near them anymore. Granted, some of them I never really clicked with, like Rosalie, but isn't that what it's supposed to be like? Like that one relative that you know but never quite get along with? But you understand each other, if even just a little bit.

I'd never had this before. It makes me sad to admit feeling that when I have Charlie and Renee. I can't help it. I've become a different person since I moved here.

For the first time, I felt pure love. For the first time, I felt unadulterated fear. They came together to form what I'm feeling now: regret and sadness. It's all because of one person. He's ruined everything for me. He made me afraid of the one I love the most because his nature is the same. He showed me what's possible. He brought out the fear in me.

To say that I hate him would be an understatement. He took away the most important things in my life for no reason at all, for all that I know. It doesn't matter. No one has the right to do that.

Even if there are a few good things left, like my parents.

I don't know how I deal.

But if he does one more thing to ruin my life, I'll

I don't know what I'll do.

Bella Swan

March 18

People always say that writing things down on paper is almost as good as saying them out loud. And since I had no one to tell it to, I did that. If it's such a good idea, then why did I have as big of a tear fest writing it than I would have had if I had talked to somebody?

People are misinformed. They don't know what it's like to not even be able to approach the one they love because their stalker has made them too afraid. They don't know how much it sucks. They don't know how much it changes a person.

~~~

"Jacob, please answer the phone. I need to talk to you. Please." Message 12. I knew I should stop calling him. It wasn't my fault he refused to talk to me.

I needed him with me. He was the only one I could talk to about James. I needed his help. He was my only friend.

Angela moved a few days before. I went to help her family move out. I had fun with Angela, but then she climbed in the truck and that was it. She was gone. Ben remained sad after she left. So did I. I hoped whatever "job" James offered her dad was legitimate.

I left the lunch table indefinitely, not being able to go near Edward or face Ben's sadness. I ate lunch (or tried to) in the library and spent my rare breaks in the bathroom, hiding. From everybody, vampires especially.

I almost hyperventilated one time in Biology because Edward's arm brushed against mine. I still l loved him, but I couldn't be anywhere near him. Does that mean I'd have to . . . break up with him?

Yes. It's the only way.

When I gained enough courage, I'd do it. If I even could. I didn't want to hurt him, but I was pretty sure I was already hurting him by avoiding him. If it meant anything, I was trying to protect him. If I don't connect myself to him, James won't go after him. It would protect his whole family, really.