In The Right Key

Chapter 21: Almost Gone

Chapter 21: Almost Gone

We drove back to the Cullen's house in one of their cars, Edward holding my hand the entire way. His touch did not calm me at all. I felt like a child and that the grown-ups had played a trick on me. I couldn't believe I'd spent so much time worrying my life away when I could have told the vampire family of the trouble I was facing and they would have already been prepared to help me. God, I felt so stupid.

"Stop it." Edward dropped my hand on the seat and inclined his head in my direction.

"Stop what?" What was I doing that could be bothering him?

"Thinking like that. I may not be able to hear your thoughts, but I can see it on your face. Whatever it is, stop blaming yourself for it."

"What? How did you-?" I stopped myself from getting tongue-tied so that I could ask a coherent question. "Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad," he said, softer than before. "I don't understand why you seem to be angry with yourself." His golden eyes were pleading quietly. Well if it was going to be honesty hour, why not start now.

"Basically. . . I feel stupid. I feel like all of this should have been obvious to me, but it wasn't. It still isn't. I was blind-sided, mostly by you, because I thought I needed to protect you." I could feel my face swelling up in anticipation of tears. "My judgment was clouded because I love you and I didn't want to lose you. It's my fault James was even here in the first place."

"It's not your fault." Each word was punctuated. "James was already planning to track anyone he decided was worth it. It wasn't personal."

"Yes it was!" I exclaimed. "It turned personal when he used Mike against me because he knew I care about people. He knew what I cared about." I'd never spoken to Edward so candidly before. Honestly, it felt good.

The pot hole we went over elongated the silence in an uncomfortable way. I looked up and saw Alice staring back from the front seat and Jasper in the driver's seat, tensed. Alice gave a quick smile before saying, "Sorry about that," and settling back into her seat.

"There's a lot we need to tell you," Edward allowed.

"Then why can't you tell me now?" My throat constricted, making it hard for me to talk without sobbing. I wish I could have been stronger so that I wouldn't have to cry whenever something was bad. I wanted to be able to put on a front so I could move on quickly and forget things.

"Each of us has something different to tell you, and we want to tell you ourselves."

"All together? In the same room?"

Edward nodded.

"Is a communal really necessary? Isn't someone going to talk about something in private?" Privacy wasn't really my concern. I didn't think I really wanted to talk to anyone at the moment.

"If it helps, I already know what they're going to say."

"Oh, right." Mind-reader. "I wish I could do that."

"What?"

"Read minds. It would be a lot more convenient, especially now." How Edward responded surprised me.

He laughed. "Bella, I think it's fair to say you don't know anything, or at least not enough, about what being a vampire is like." He sounded tired and amused, maybe a little delusional.

I thought about his statement. I knew a little bit about vampirism, from what he'd taught me and from what I'd observed, but there was so much about his world that I didn't know. I didn't know that James was a tracker, and I'm sure that would have helped me in the long run. So if I were to stay with the Cullen's for any amount of time, their nature would have to become second knowledge.