In The Right Key

Chapter 19: Plan B

Chapter 19: Plan B

Before moving to Forks, I thought I was stable. Mentally, emotionally, somewhat physically, but sane, nonetheless. But then I experienced the supernatural and I fell in love, and my heart took over. I thought I had forever planned out, until it all backfired. I got scared and walked away from the one thing that made me happy by telling myself I was protecting him. When in reality, I was the one that needed protecting. If I'd told him the truth, he could have helped me.

It's shameful that it took me so long to realize that. I could have prevented all of this, the regret, the guilt, the death. Mike would be alive, I wouldn't be scared to walk outside, I could be happy. . .

I wouldn't hate myself.

I wallowed all weekend until I woke up to a sunny Monday morning and remembered that life goes on. The house was messy and we didn't have any food. I ate leftover pizza for breakfast and started on the laundry. Maybe I'd fall in . . .

The phone rang shrilly from the kitchen and I pulled myself out of the underwear to get it. Glad we'd made the trade to cordless, I picked up and answered while walking back to the washing machine.

"He-"

"Bella!"

"Jacob?" I asked. Although I should be used to it, I'd only recently talked to him through the phone.

"Um, do you mind if I come over? It's kind of . . . cramped over here." He sounded uncomfortable. I was, too. I didn't know if I forgave him for abandoning me, or if that was the real issue here.

"Well I'm just going to be cleaning and running errands. I don't really think you'd want to . . ." I trailed off.

"Please? I need to talk to you." I could imagine his dark brown eyes pleading, his long hair framing his face, his hands reaching. Jacob had some control over me, and I had to give in.

"Fine."

"Cool. I'll be over soon." And he hung up, leaving me kind of wishing I'd dropped the phone in the washing machine.

I was able to put in each load of laundry and clean the downstairs before Jacob knocked on the door.

"Come in!" I yelled. I didn't turn around when I heard the door open, thinking Jake would come straight in. I continued folding laundry until I felt it; that cold, someone's-watching-me feeling I got that day at the doctor's office. And it only meant one thing. James.

I stood still. I couldn't turn around and see if he'd entered my house, I couldn't see if he was just standing there, taunting me. I braced the facts that I didn't know how to kill a vampire, or if it was even possible. No, he would chase me first, and that's how I'd know at least that part of my plan would work. I put down the shirt I was folding and closed my eyes.

"Bella."

I gasped. Because it was a voice I recognized very well. I half-turned and saw Jake out of the corner of my eye. I exhaled in a large gust and laughed humorlessly.

"Are you okay?"

"I thought . . . I thought you were James." I said weakly.

"Why would you think that?" He was confused and a little bit insulted, I could tell.

"I felt him." My eyes connected with Jacob's. "Don't ask." His expression suggested he wasn't going to.

He helped me finish folding the clothes, which wasn't much. Before I could move on to anything else, he stopped me. "Look, I'm sorry, Bells, I really am. I know I've said it a million times, but it's true. After spending the weekend with Rachel, I realized she wasn't worth our friendship. I know it's too late, but I'll do anything I can to help you."