What Happens on the Cruise

2. Little Red Riding Hood

This is the song that I was in the audience for, I was working on a cruise ship as we all know here, I was sitting in the audience and I heard this song, and I was immediately like, "Oh, shit, I gotta sing with these guys." And I literally have never gotten this drunk, really, I guess I never told you guys this, I never got as drunk as I got the night after I saw their first show and I went and hung out with all of them. 'Cause all I could think the whole time was, "I gotta be in that group one day, I gotta be in that group one day, I gotta be in that group one day..." And so, I just litera... I don't remember the whole night, but this guy happened and it's basically because of this song, and Rob's voice on another song.

***

"You're drooling," Sarah said, elbowing Austin in the ribs.

Austin looked at his castmate and shrugged, giving her a chagrined smile. "They're just so good."

"Hmm," she said noncommittally, then nodded toward the bass on the stage. "And he's really hot."

"The beatboxer's no slouch," Austin replied.

"Pretty sure that's a wedding ring," she answered. "With that breath control, his wife's a really lucky lady."

"Or husband."

"You think?" she asked, turning her attention to the blond.

"He definitely pinged the gaydar."

"Yeah... But really, how good is your gaydar. You thought Jeremy was gay."

"Jeremy is gay," he defended. "He's also a homophobe. The two aren't exclusive."

"You really think a group of five guys has two gay men in it?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure about gay, exactly. They might be bi or something. They're just not completely straight."

"I think it's just wishful thinking, Austin."

The tenor sighed. "You may be right. But he's just so hot."

"The beatboxer?"

His eyes turned back to the long-haired brunet. "The bass."

"Who here would like to hear a bass solo?" the group's baritone asked.

"Woohoo!" Austin called, clapping, along with several other audience members.

"Owooo!" Tim started out with a howl. "Who's that I see walkin' in these woods?
Why, it's Little Red Riding Hood." Tim seemed to look directly at him, running his hand through his hair. Austin's breath caught in his chest. "Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood. You sure are lookin' good. You're everything a big, bad wolf could want."

Austin sat mesmerized as they sang in such perfect harmonies. Then Tim dropped down for the last word and Austin's whole body vibrated at the deep bass note.

"Whoa!" Sarah gasped.

"Oh, shit! I gotta sing with these guys," Austin whispered, his whole life plan suddenly shifting in his mind.

***

"Hey, we're back in cell service," Chris said, glancing at his phone. "I'm going back to the room to make some calls."

Rob and Matt also stood, then looked at each other. "You can call from the cabin. I'll go find some quiet place on the deck," Rob said to his cabinmate. He turned back to the table where Adam, Tim, and a very wobbly Austin still sat. "See you two tomorrow. And, Austin, good hanging out with you."

Austin nodded. "'S good hang'n w'choo. Do 't again s'm'time."

"Sure, buddy," Rob nodded. "Good night!"

"Were you planning to go call Ericha?" Tim asked Adam.

"Not till Chris gets done with all his phone calls," Adam answered.

"Y'r voice 's ssssoooo sex... sexy," Austin muttered.

Tim and Adam exchanged looks, then sized up the tenor at the table with them. The younger man had matched Tim drink for drink and now was staring glassy eyed at the bass.

"Um. Thanks," Tim answered. "I, uh, think we should probably call it a night."

Adam nodded. "Can you get to your cabin on your own?" he asked.

"Sure," Austin slurred. "Go out th' door, turn lef' turn righ... then... Ummm..." He wrinkled his forehead in concentration.

"Left is a dead end," Tim pointed out.

"It is?"

The two bandmates exchanged another look. "What's your cabin number?" Adam asked. "We can drop you off."

Austin giggled. "Ass."

"What?"

"Muh cabin's an asssss."

"Is the number on your key card?" Tim asked, grabbing Austin's jacket from the back of his chair and starting through the pockets. "Austin, where's your key card?"

The tenor leaned forward toward Tim, dropping his voice. "I'd l... let you."

"Let me what?"

"Take me."

"To your cabin?" Tim asked.

"Up the ... Up the assss."

Adam let out a giggle.

"Okay," said Tim, taken aback. "That's good to know."

"L... Let y' f... fuh me 'n ass..."

The couple at the next table had started staring at them.

"I think we need to get him out of here," Adam whispered.

Tim nodded. "But to where? We have no idea where his cabin is and even if we did, we don't know where his key card is."

"Asssss..." Austin said, and giggled.

"Okay, buddy, let's go take a walk," Tim said, reaching for the tenor. Austin rose unsteadily, his legs giving out.

Adam grabbed him and slipped an arm around his waist. "I've got you."

Tim smiled at the couple. "Good night, folks."

The two of them hauled him out into the hall. Tim let go to get his bearings and Austin turned to face Adam, sliding his arms around the blond.

"Nope, nope, nope," Adam protested, trying to pull Austin's hands away from his back pockets. "Married and monogamous. Tim, help."

"Right. Sorry. I guess we'll take him to my cabin," Tim said, turning Austin around.

"You sure about that?" Adam asked, leading Austin down the hall. "I mean, he did say he wanted--"

Tim made a noise of protest. "I'm not going to take advantage--"

"The man's like a limpet," Adam said, slapping Austin's wandering hand away. "You may get molested."

"I think I can handle myself."

"Oooookay," Adam said. "Your cabin it is."