What Happens on the Cruise

84. Serenity

When the chaplain left, Tim climbed in to the hospital bed with Austin and pulled him close. He felt bereft of words.

"If I have this done, it's not going to turn you off, is it?" Austin asked.

Tim wanted to immediately answer "no" but made himself think. "I don't think I will, but it's not like I've ever had the experience to know," he answered honestly. He drew in a breath. "Are you going to hate me?"

"Why would I...? Oh. Honey, no. Never."

"Are you sure?" Tim asked, tears springing to his eyes.

"I'm sure." Austin cupped his face and looked into his eyes. "Are you going to hate yourself?"

"At least a little bit," Tim admitted.

"Well, we'll just have to deal with that, won't we?"

"I guess so."

Austin kissed him, then pressed his forehead to Tim's. "I keep wanting to wake up and find all of this has been a bad dream."

"Except for the wedding," Tim said.

Austin smiled. "Yeah. I'd be sad to wake up not married to you."

"We'd just have to fix it really quick."

"Yes. And then go someplace special for our honeymoon."

"Where would you want to go?" Tim asked.

"I was thinking someplace tropical with beaches, but maybe also some nice trails to hike along." He sighed.

"Hey, you heard the chaplain. Give yourself a while and you can go hiking or do almost anything else you want."

"I know. But not in time for our honeymoon."

"So we'll take another one next year," Tim promised. "We'll take one every year."

"I think that's just called a vacation."

"A romantic vacation, just the two of us, with lots of sex."

"Oh, yeah!" Austin agreed, grinning.

"I want to make you feel so good," Tim whispered. "I want to kiss you and suck you and lick you and fuck you until I've wiped all the pain from your eyes."

Austin let out a shaky breath. "You're going to get me turned on."

"Sorry," Tim apologized, though he didn't sound very sorry, and kissed Austin.

"Is everything okay in he-- Whoops!" The nurse averted her eyes.

Tim chuckled as he realized Austin's heart and breathing rate had picked up on the monitors. "Sorry. Got a little carried away."

"Did you... um... want me to turn the monitor off for a couple minutes?" she's asked.

Tim raised his eyebrows. "Would you like that, hon?"

A blush spread across Austin's face. "I don't think I could, to be honest."

"It's okay," Tim answered. "Not sure I could either."

"Well, I'll just leave you two to behave, then."

"Wait!" Austin stopped her.

"Yes?"

"Could you... Could you tell the doctor I've decided?"

"Oh! Sure. So is it a yes or a no to surgery?"

"Yes. It's a yes."

She nodded, looking grave. "It's a hard decision to make, I know."

***