When you're dancing like the light,
when you're enjoying your life
while I'm stuck in
a never ending cycle
of loneliness,
do you ever think of me?
I wonder if I ever crossed your mind while you filled
her with affection.
the affection that I craved.
the affection I never got.
I've destroyed myself
but i did it with your help.
I folded my anxiety and
melted my confidence.
but your storms molded my heart.
your fingertips smoothed the creases
and designed the pattern
of sleepless nights and
truant school classes.
you told me I was the one forever.
but I noticed when
you were reaching for my hand
we all knew
you were reaching for hers.
because she hides her thoughts
and my emotions pour over.
I've said goodbye
to all of my sadness
but they have yet to leave.
they're living in me.
I do not fear my depression
because it completes me.
without the lonely nights,
I wouldn't be able to force a lie
and tell everyone I'm just "sick."
my diseased soul
goes further than just a cold.
I've caught the flu in my body
but it's only destroying my mind.
my sadness has become
my only company and
my only bullet for you.
bitter words pierce the silence
and we know it's over.
