This constant feeling is taking over me, it's like I'm not in control of my life, but at the same time--I'm supposed to be.
Like I have something to do everyday but I just keep pushing it away, ignoring it till the last minute. Not a second of this year has been carefree for me, I've found myself worried, stressed, preoccupied with something or the other.
But I guess that's what life is supposed to do? Turn you around, make you swerve, sometimes you even have to take a U-turn. God I really sound like a nutcase right now.
This year has been slow, yet it feels like I've been going at 100mph the entire time. I can't even believe college starts next month!!! What the heck?!
I don't know how to drive.
I don't know how to go out and buy groceries.
I don't know how credit cards work (why do we need them again?)
Don't even get me started with taxes (makes me want to throw up)
Maybe one day I will know how to do all these things, but right now I can't even imagine it.
And that's crazy to me.
The fact that I don't see myself doing anything in particular in 5 years, it's terrifying.
I wanna believe that everything is happening for a reason. But, what if it's not? What if my life is really supposed to be in my control, and I've been screwing everything up all this time.
It's almost like if the TVA (subtle Loki reference) existed, I would be more at ease than I am right now, making all these decisions without knowing the outcome of it all.
Anyways. There it is. That was my rant, I hope I can come back to this someday and laugh at my stupidity.
YOU ARE READING
Life Is A Conflict - Poetry Book
PoetryBefore you start reading this book, let me warn you that this is not a fictional story (it's not even a story, idk what to call it) Therefore every word that's going to be written in this book (more like a journal) will be written based on either my...
