Mondo Owada x gn! Reader [The Scent Of Blood And Him]

worst night

A/N: sorry for the cliffhanger the last chapter-

our P.O.V

I pulled the paper out of his pocket, unfolding it and reading it-

I just need to get it off my chest. I have been feeling like a while now and I don't have the strength to tell you in person. I doubt you will ever read it but this is for getting it off my chest anyways-
I fucking love you okay?! Here. I said it. I finally said the truth. I swore myself to never fucking fall in love again. All the rejections made me scared of falling in love again but around you I just can't fucking hold it anymore. You were the first one who never was afraid of me just because I yell when I get nervous. It's such a good feeling to hear I comfort you.
And to be honest, all these times when we woke up together comforted me as well.
I wish I would have had the balls to tell you in person- Maybe somewhen I will find the courage again to tell you what I feel but I doubt I after these fucking many rejections. It hurts having the confidence to finally tell someone how you feel- and then get rejected because of a habit. I didn't even yell any insults-
But you were the first one who didn't judge me or get scared because of that. I just can't fucking help this weird feeling of nervousness around you- I can't help but have feelings for you even if- Even If this whole thing was scaring the shit out of me. I was scared of another rejection and still am.
I don't know how this will end but listen-
I don't know how our connection will end. I don't know how everything will end- if I stay alive, if you stay alive- I don't know. But I want you to never forget how important you really are to me. Even If it may barely comes off like that-

Fuck I feel like such a coward for not telling you in person-

I- I was stunned. Did- did he really write this? I mean it was his handwriting. It was messy but you could still read it without troubles. Usually I would say that it didn't sound like him- but after tonight, I knew how he was like when you hit a weak point and this was obviously one of them. Small tears mixed from happiness and sadness escaped my eyes, some of them dropping to the unfolded paper. I wiped them away, careful not to let the handwriting smudge and folded it again, laying it back again into the pocket of his coat.

Maybe I should slowly get some sleep... It would be hard for me when Mondo wasn't there. When he didn't hug me, when he didn't cuddle with me and comfort me. It was so comfortable with him and it would be so hard to live without him.
I switched off the lights, laying down in bed, wrapping the blanket together and throwing the coat over it. I hugged it like I did with mondo last night, hoping this would help me getting at least a few hours of sleep.

This was the worst night of my life. I constantly imagined hearing shir, panicking for a short moment until it stopped.
But one time it worse than ever.
I shot up when I heard these sounds all at once, voices that told me I could have prevented anything, scratching sounds, door rattling, laughing- all at once. I suddenly sat up in panic, breathing heavily and panicking badly. I had bad troubles keeping myself calm- my heart beat against my chest so fast-  I was trying to get my breathing calmer again but nothing seemed to work. It all was too much- I wanted this to stop-
I cried. I started to cry in stress while I still was panicking so bad. It was awful. And this was just the start.
The start of the worst time in my life.

After some time my breathing started to get more regular. I leaned against the back of Mondos bead and wiped away my tears of panic with the back of my hand.
I just needed Mondo so bad right now.

I didn't know which time it was but I finally managed to get actually tired. I rested my head on the rolled up blanket, smelling in the familiar scent I loved and missed too much while I closed my eyes with a yawn, finally managing to fall asleep.

But not even a minute after, I got woken up from Monokuma's morning announcement. I was awake the whole night multiple times. Usually with sleepovers with my best friend Ibuki when we played and listened to music or with Leon in the breaks and weekends when we watched some movies together- but these were beautiful memories.
And what I had to make through- this was pure torture. This wasn't fun like these memories with Ibuki and Leon.

I got up with a groan as I stepped into the bathroom, brushing through my hair and getting on Mondos coat again. I swear, I'll never put that coat off my body again except for a help to sleep.
I walked out of the room, making sure to lock the door and take the key with me. I headed towards the dining hall and sat down alone on one of the tables away from where the others usually sat. Seeing the empty seats next to me where Leon and Mondo usually would have sat would have just made me even more sad.

I was burying my face in Mondos coat, waiting for this stupid meeting to be over. I didn't even want to see most of the others.
Suddenly, I felt someone sitting across of me. I looked up to see Taka. He really seemed like he didn't sleep either since he was the best friend of Mondo. "Y/N you look awful", Taka said, worry noticeable in his voice. "Oh- sorry I didn't mean to-", Taka immediately added. "Don't worry, it's fine", I let out. "I know I look awful. I didn't even sleep a minute, hearing voices and sounds which werent there. Who the hell would look great after such a night", I let out which made him sigh. "Yeah you are right. Just take care of yourself, okay?", He let out. It was good to know I still had one friend alive in here. I nodded at him while he gave me some company in attempt to distract the two of us. I didn't eat this morning. Just as I wanted to leave the dining hall, I met Hina and Skaura. "Woah you look awful-", Hina let out in worry. I saw Sakura ramming her arm softly against Hina's to tell her she shouldn't say something like that.

We talked a little until Byakuya tried to pass by. "Why are you even showing your weaknesses so easily because of such an idiot, a murderer", Byakuya let out.
"What the hell did you just call him?", I let out slightly getting angry. "An idiot and a killer", Byakuya repeated. "He's not an Idiot. And he is not a killer. Monokuma forced us to kill someone so I don't blame him", I replied.

God- I hated this dude so much. The more he said, the more the whole situation escalated-

1248 words