Impossible

Part 10

The song in the side bar is memories by p!atd

Swearing and mentions of self harm in this chapter, stay safe lovelies ^.^

"I'm so sorry" I mumbled into Phil's matted black hair, squeezing him tightly in a warm embrace.

"No, I'm sorry. I should have told you...I-im just so scared Dan, I don't want to die"

I let go of the boy's fragile frame and took his pale chin between my thumb and forefinger, directing his blue eyes towards my brown ones.

"You're not going to die. I don't want to hear you say anything like that again. Okay? You're gonna get better Phil, I promise.

Phil nodded and his eyes filed with tears, giving them a glassy crystal sheen. I released his face and smiled, wiping underneath his eyelid to remove the tears.

"Okay" he replied quietly, nodding.

Suddenly the door burst open and PJ was stood in the doorway, looking flushed and panicked.

"Peej? What's wrong?"

"It's Izzy, I can't find her. She rang me up, crying, and tried to apologise but I don't know what for. You've gotta help me Phil, I cant nearly lose her again"

"Again? What do you mean? Somebody tell me what's going on! I'm sick of being kept in the dark!"

Gaby and Jordan who had been sat, quietly chatting in the corner, both turned around to stare at me, along with everybody else.

"Sorry Dan" Phil said "That isn't my tale to tell"

I rolled my eyes and looked back over to Pj who had tears spurting down his face.

"PJ calm down okay? We'll find her. I think I know what's wrong with her but 'That's not my tale to tell'" I spoke calmly to the worried boy but emphasised the phrase Phil had used, earning a sharp nudge from him in return.

Just then, PJ's phone started to ring and he fumbled in his pocket clumsily, snapping open the lid and answering straight away.

"Izzy?! Thank fuck, where are you? You idiot, i'm coming to get you right now. Stay there, dont do anyhting stupid. Love you, bye"

He snapped the phone shut and shoved it back in his pocket, opening the door and rushing away without another word. To my suprise, Phil didn't look the least bit worried and I frowned in confusion.

"What's that face for?" He asked, tapping the crinkles in between my eyebrows with his lean finger, making my face flush red.

"Nothing...Just wondering what the hell is going on that's all."

Phil sighed and sat on a hard plastic seat beside where I was stood

"I cant tell you much, it's up to Izzy to explain. Let's just sat that this isn't the first time she's run away, and it also wouldn't be the first time she's done something stupid on one of her secret trips"

"W-what kind of stupid?" I questioned, relaxing my facial expressin slightly.

"Just stupid. Fucking stupid" and then he got up and walked away, leaving me alone with the two girls in the corner who I turned to face.

"Dont ask us" Jordan exclaimed "We have as much knowledge as you"

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A few hours later, a very relieved looking PJ carried a sleeping Izzy into Phil's hospital room which I had departed to when I realised neither Gaby or Jordan were interested in speaking to anybody but eachother.

Phil jumped out of bed quickly and his face scrunched up in pain. I stood up to help but he waved me away and allowed PJ to place the girl in his bed. They moved to the corner and spoke in low mumbles, only some of which I was able to hear.

"Found her at the park......Again, really bad....."

"......tell Dan?......needs help!....wake her up"

Phil stepped away from Pj and walked slowly over to the bed that was holding Izzy's sleeping body.

"Izzy? Izzy wake up" He whispered loudly, shaking her softly until her eyelids fluttered open, revealing a pair of dark grey eyes.

"Thank god" PJ sighed, running forward and enveloping Izzy into a huge hug.

I stood back, watching the three hug, feeling very left out and confused.

"Would somebody please care to explain what the actual fuck is going on?" I exploded, throwing my hands up into the air, exsasperated.

"Sure" Izzy said casually, patting the empty space at the bottom of the bed. I gladly accepted the seat and looked expectantly at the girl.

"Story time again eh Howell? Well, get ready, its not a very nice tale" She laughed, smiling to herself and Phil sighed

"This isn't funny Izzy, not in the slightest!"

Izzy chuckled again and smirked "Oh really? It's pretty hilarious if you ask me. Anyway, shut it Lester, I'm trying to explain to our dearest Daniel what happened out at the park. So I guess I should start with the fact im  depressed. I was upset, Sadness and depression dont mix surprisingly, and i went to the park. Took my blade of course. Did a bit of cutting, passed out, Ligouri carried me home and now i'm here watching your pretty face turn the colour of milk at my tragic life" She laughed again and laid her head on the blue pillow, closing her eyes and breathing out heavily.

"Izzy, stop being a twat and tell him properly, or i'll do it for you" PJ said, rubbing his temples.

"Go ahead mate, I guess you know my life better than me"

PJ sighed again and looked at me before speaking.

"Last year, she tried to kill herself. Severe depression that she kept a secret from Me, Phil, her parents. Found her in the bathroom, dying. They saved her, the doctors but only just, She swore to me it was over but it wasnt, still isnt. I dont know what triggered her today but you went too far Izzy, you passed out."

Izzy looked up and smiled widely, itching her wrists

"It was intentional PJ, i dont do things by accident."

"Yeah well maybe you should start thinking about others. How do you think I felt, dragging you into my car and bringing you back here, scared shitless at the thought of losing you? Oh wait you don give a fuck because the whole world revolves around Izzy! That's right isn't it? Sounds like it! I cant believe you think this is funny, i knew you could be an idiot but not like this. You dont even care do you? Huh?"

"No I don't care PJ, not anymore! Just get out and don't come back." Izzy screamed, sitting bolt upright and looking PJ straight in the face

"W-what?"

"You heard me PJ, if i'm such a drag, such a lost cause, hopeless case, whatever you want to call it, then walk away right now and don't come back"

PJ hesitated and looked at me but I was unable to move, mouth hanging open.

"Okay" he nodded, picking up his coat "Okay but see how long you last without me!"

and then he was gone, the smell of his nutty aftershave the only evidnce that he was ever here.

"Bye PJ" Izzy mumbled, laying back and closing her eyes.

Of course, I still saw the tear that slipped through her closed eyelid.

Woah so that was kind of depressing and stuff but it will all fit in soon hopefully

Thanks for readin n shizzle. Idk what rating i have this on but i will go on a rampage if wattpad blocks it for swearing

bluegh

- izzy x