cigarette | h.s

chapter 12 | rooftop views

the song for this chapter is Nutshell by the Alice in Chains :), i recommend listening to it when you see the *

TW: Mention of suicide and mental health

Greyson

As we follow the crowd up the stairs, we are greeted with many arrays of tables, a large stage, an open bar, and hundreds of people dancing and mingling together. Millions of dollars' worth of jewelry, expensive designer suits and dresses; all being worn by some of the wealthiest and most powerful people in New York City, some even flying in from all over the country to attend. Attendees from all ages and the different forms of money, both old and new. All the families who attend at this event are acting like the perfect family, but in reality, it's the opposite. I know what it looks like: the spouses rarely show any affection and their children are trying to put up a respectful act, but sometimes making an aggravating remark. Being in the presence of these families, it's almost like reminiscing.

My family used to be the staple for a happy family. We never had to worry about money, my parents loved each other with every last dying breathe they had, my brother and I got along, and we were a very well-liked and respected family. My mother would always say the phrase: "La vie en rose", when I would be down, which was the French way of saying 'I am looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, to always have a positive outlook on the world and wanting to see the beauty of it.' Once I got older, I soon realized that the rose-colored glass that I was constantly looking through was shattered. Once it's shattered, you can never go back to seeing the world how you used to. You realized that the world is actually a really shitty place and if you look at the world positively, you'll be taken advantage of and are gullible to situations; thinking that everything is great when it is the opposite. My family was the prime example of that. The quiet arguing from my parents soon turned into full fledge screaming in the kitchen, glasses shattering, and doors slamming. I would go into Phoenix's room to try to drown it all out and we would end up sneaking out to get away from everything. To the public eye, our family was happy, but in private, my parents were separated, sleeping in separate rooms, and my relationship with both of them was declining, mostly with my mother; we would never see eye to eye and get into petty arguments. My father just started to become distant with everyone and soon enough, he started living in the guest house, rarely talking to us. But when I would talk to him, it was like nothing ever happened. They both knew that if they would get a divorce, it would be in the news, so both of their miserable souls stayed together.

So, when I saw them laughing and my father's hand on the small of my mother's back, my breathe hitched in my throat; they're really pulling off the 'happy couple' well. Even I believed it for a second, until I saw my father stiff under my mother's touch just for a second, so short that if you weren't paying attention, you would never see it.

Harry moves his hand from the small of my back, snapping me back into reality, "I'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" He asks.

I run my fingers through my hair, "Yes please, whiskey." I sigh, wanting the night to be over with already.

As soon as Harry walks away, both my mother and father walk towards me with fake smiles. My mother pulls me into an uncomfortable hug, the smell of her patchouli perfume and gin from her martini flows through the air as she pulls away, taking a sip from her drink, turning towards me and lowering her voice, "You smell like cigarettes." She says in disgust.