3:37 am july 23rd 2021
[Ive entered a manic episode I believe.]
As long as we have fun while we're alive.
Is this an episode or am I just crazy i swear im alright but last night was a little touch and go but im alright i swear
I dont wanna feel better.
Someone fucking loved me
I was worth something and then the episodes came and there I went
The diagnosis came and suddenly it all made fucking sense.
Never the same but someone
loved me and I hoped maybe one day they'd love me again.
Im not the same and im really fucking lost
But ive always loved wondering the dark roads alone
Music causing my ears to bleed
Sound track of my life leading me through the dying streets of my dying town of this dying world.
Cant walk much these days but the music still blares as the disease tears my guts apart from the inside out
At least thats what this torture feels like.
The media always makes
Life or death sounds so selfish
But FUCK im not anything at all. nothing
to believe in and there wont be till we all fall.
"This world is your future why dont you care? CARE GODDAMMIT JUST CARE! its not that hard i swear just fucking care!"
You killed your god, You killed a future that wasnt even yours and you sit here and tell me to care and pray and live my life your way! FUCK your lies FUCK your promises FUCK your lame political views.
Im gonna live my life in every way that'll most piss off all of you.
Im alright.
Dont tell me you beat me in a game I never played and walk around with your head all high, Get mad when I smile and continue with my day like im suppose to be crummbling in shame. I got shit to do and sadly dont have time in my day to pat your fucking back and feed your damn ego or be painted as the bad guy. Paint me how you wish, on my back as I walk away just know that paint is on your hands. And I dont mind paint.
Someone loved me and i fucking loved them too.
Nothing I say makes sense and everything sounds so morbid. im a painting of gray covering a chaotic mess
YOU ARE READING
Memoirs Of A Real Girl
Randomthis is just a book about girl you will never know. But as you read more I think you'll start see this person with out a name can be quite interesting. Eventually as the story progresses you'll know more about her than anyone does. Hopefully you'll...
