11:20 pm october 4th 2021
The ache in my side is a constant reminder of the care ive negelcted to give to myself once again. Like yesterday and the day before, the pain has consisted to churn with ever deep breath or chuckle that manages to escape my lips. My lips that yern for the chapstick barried in my pocket left forgotten and untouched.
Last week I had forgotten to eat for four whole days. Not so much as a chip had graced my stomach lining. I hadnt noticed until he gazed over my body and the word "petite" had slipped out under his breath. Could I have really forgotten to eat in that long or was it at the fault of the coke still on my nose ring?
Today I stepped onto the scale only to notice the numbers go down once again. Last time that happened i feared I would catch myself in the vicious cycle I was trapped in so long ago. This time I smiled as i stepped off. A few weeks back someone captured a photo of me where my cheeks were looking rather full and plump, i was under weight even then. Now I cant help but wonder if they would look the same if someone had taken a photo of me in this moment.
He is another vicous cycle and bad habit ive failed to avoid falling into again, while we are on topic of addictions I cant seem to outrun. He might very well be the worst. I fear when this chapter closes he will be the cause of my inevitable downfall.
His skin is pale scattered with tattoos like the cracks in a porcelain doll. His hair is black like a ravens feather, slicked back with enough gel to glue the liberty bell into one functioning peice again. And his eyes, Ive never particularly been a fan of brown eyes before but its my truest belief that brown eyes were created souley for him. This boy could have my whole heart if only he asked, yet he doesn't. I have no words when it comes to speaking to him, im far to lost in the image that stands before me. And he knows that. Anytime I pull away his scent always drags me back leaving claw marks behind me from my heart fighting in a fruitless effort to protect itself.
Between the lines, the boy and neglect of ones self, I know fighting will be far less enjoyable than the self destruction waiting for me just a few pages down in my story.
YOU ARE READING
Memoirs Of A Real Girl
Randomthis is just a book about girl you will never know. But as you read more I think you'll start see this person with out a name can be quite interesting. Eventually as the story progresses you'll know more about her than anyone does. Hopefully you'll...
