Take Me To Paris

Chapter 12

"Vix, are you okay?" Loba asks again, and I see her squat next to me. I had sat on one of the stairs, pulled my knees to my chest, put my head on between my knees, and started crying.

"She's gone, she's gone, she's gone." I whisper incoherently. Loba has no clue what I'm saying.

"Okay, Vix, if you're having a panic attack, just breathe, alright? You're gonna be fine." She rubs my back.

She doesn't understand. She's supposed to understand.

"Uh, Loba. If this is a panic attack, then it's a pretty bad one. I've seen her have an attack, and it wasn't nearly as bad as this." Ansel says.

"Then maybe a breakdown? I wouldn't know. I've only seen her have one of those, and that was when her dad threw a pl- nevermind." Loba says quickly.

"Oooookay. Well, we've seen the tower, and we've taken pictures, so let's head back to the hotel. I've got Vix." Ansel announces, and tells Loba and Adrien to walk ahead. They leave, and Ansel bends down next to me.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks. I shake my head no. "Okay, then you don't have to, but you do have to stand up and walk with me, because I can't walk down all these stairs holding you." I nod, and try to stand. My legs decide against that, and make me fall back to the stair. I sob some more.

"Hey. Calm down, it's okay." Ansel tells me. I shake my head, and the tears just keep coming. "Let's try again." He says, pulling my arm. I try to stand once more, and my legs actually stay standing, but they're really wobbly.

"You gonna be alright?" He asks. I hide my face in his shirt, and shake my head no again. "Okay, then. Let's get back to the hotel. We can talk about it when Loba and Adrien go to get dinner. I nod, and we slowly make our way down the stairs.

✨

Once we get to the hotel, the other couple had already been there for awhile.

"Ohmygod is she okay?" Loba asks frantically. I broke down again halfway back to the hotel, and Ansel carried me.

"She's fine, I'm just gonna put her in the bed. I think that phone call took a toll on her. I don't know what it was about, but it seemed to be bad." Ansel says, laying me on my side of the bed after taking my shoes off. "Loba can you help her change?" He asks.

"Of course." She replies.

Loba helps me change on the bed. The boys were busy playing a video game to pay attention to us. Loba had also closed the curtain around the bed. She put me in a red t-shirt that obviously belonged to Ansel that said '100% not today' and she took my pants off, leaving me in a pair of deep blue underwear.

She covers me up, and before I know it, I'm asleep.

✨

"You're a good for nothing daughter, I'll tell you that much!" Dad yells.

"Leave her alone, Tyler!" Mom yells back.

"Shut the hell up, Karmen. I was talking to your shitty offspring!" He yells at Mom, slapping her across the face.

"No! Leave Mom alone!" I try to yell, but I'm not able to move. My voice won't make sound. I can't stop him. He punches her, kicks her, and just full out hurts her, until she's just a corpse lying there. The dead body of my mother.

"Now for the best part." My father says in my rapists voice. That throws me off. I try to speak to him, tell him to shut his tobacco scented mouth, but nothing comes out.

"She's dead, Sweetie." My dad says, his voice soft, but his face smiling a really creepy smile. "She's dead, and you're next."

"You're next."

"You're next."

"You're next."

Multiple voices kept overlapping each other with those two horrid words.

"You're next, you filthy whore." Dad says in my ear, making me jerk up.

✨

"NO!" I yell, jerking my self up. I was covered head to toe in sweat, and I was breathing heavily. Ansel yanks his gaze over to me from the video game. At first he sees my wide, terrified eyes, then he watches as they fill with tears, and then he sees me throw my head into my hands and cry. I've been crying a lot lately, and I don't like it.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey. Calm down." Ansel says, jumping up from the couch, and sitting next to me in the bed, pulling my head into his chest. I grip his shirt, and cry harder. "Shhh. It was just a dream. It was just a dream, you're okay." He rocks me back and forth until I get quiet.

I hiccup, and my breathing's uneven. "You don't have to be tough in front of me. I believe that if you're tough enough to show emotion like this in front of someone, then that automatically makes you the toughest woman, no, person, I know." He whispers, kissing the top of my head.

I nod, and pull my head from his chest. He smells like coffee, so I guess he made some. Or it could be his natural scent. I've never actually paid attention to what he smells like. It's a mix of coffee and old books. You know that smell when a book is really old, so it smells amazing? Yeah, it's that smell. I love it.

"Are you ready to talk yet?" He asks. I take a deep breath, and nod. "Okay, have at it." He says.

"I," my voice comes out hoarse. I clear my throat, and try again. "I got a call from the Salt Lake Memorial Hospital, and they told me..." I try to hold back the tears that threaten to overflow again. "They told me that my mom is dead." I whisper, pinching my arm.

"Stop." Ansel snaps harshly. I gasp, and pull my tear streaked face up. "Stop hurting yourself like that. Let the tears fall. I'm sorry for your mom, but you can't make yourself feel pain to stop tears. You're supposed to let them out." he say a little softer.

I don't try to stop the fresh tears from rolling down my cheeks. I don't pinch my arms either. Ansel hugs me for a long time.

"Were you two close?" He asks. I nod, then shake my head. "I- I don't understand that." Ansel says, chuckling a little bit.

"She would save me from Dad, but she never showed me any affection. She was the only one that could make dad stop hurting me though." I whisper. Ansel nods in understanding.

"I can kind of relate to that." He whispers.

"How so?" I whisper back.

"Both of my parents were physically abusive, and my oldest sister would always stop them. I'm the middle child, and my older sister is nine years older than me. I was only a year older than my other sister.

"Mandy, my younger sister, had gotten up to get some food after being punished for burning dinner. Carrie had band practice that night, so she wasn't home. Mandy wasn't allowed to eat that night. She actually wasn't allowed to eat a lot of nights, usually for stupid reasons. My mom caught her trying to sneak to the kitchen. I had saved her a plate, but she left her room before I could give it to her. My mom literally beat her to death with a metal ladle, and I was the only one who saw it.