After that whole episode with Shivin I felt really dejected and had no clue what to do. He was occupied that day in preparations so it was kinda difficult for us to have any conversation at all but then I thought maybe this is how it's supposed to be, this is how it ends.
The next day too went by in a blink with the family engrossed in the preparations for the Roka ceremony, decorating baskets of sweets and fruits and wrapping clothes in beautiful covers. The sound of dholak filled the house in the evening. Fairy lights shone bright outside the windows in the otherwise dark misty night. A few of Shivin's cousins were sent to escort the bride's family to their hotel the following morning and for some reason I was getting more and more desperate to leave with each passing minute.
So fast forwarding and it was the Roka day already. I urgently wanted to gift the brooch pin to Shivin and have a private moment with him for one last time cuz maybe we won't be able to talk or meet after this day...my stomach clenched with the thought of never seeing him again. I woke up early and went to the dining hall. Chitter-chatter of people consuming the room...new and unfamiliar faces now occupied the hall...more relatives and friends probably coming just for the ceremony. So in that hustle bustle I sneaked into Shivin's room just to find the room empty. Ahhhh. Where was he??? I asked dadi if she'd seen him that day. "Beta he's gone to a mandir for performing a pooja with his mom", She told me. When would he be free or if he would be free or not? I prayed for us to be together one last time. I knew I was acting really dramatic but it is what it is.
I got ready for the evening and gift wrapped the brooch pin neatly. Shivin was out most of the day but then at 6:40 pm I finally heard his voice. After parking the car he was talking to some relative on his way inside. When he came inside his mom told him to hurry up and get ready for the ceremony. YES THIS IS THE TIME. After 15 to 20 mins of waiting I went to his room and knocked hoping he would be alone. "Come in", he said. I entered and he was looking in the mirror while buttoning his Kurta. He looked charming as always. Sometimes words fail to come out of my mouth and I forget what I was going to say whenever he looks this handsome.
After I was done adoring him "Hi", I said. He looked at me while setting his hair perfectly. Wow!...Anyway. "Hi Ayaan", he said.
I like the sound of my name coming out of his mouth. "I have something for you and your look is incomplete without this", I said handing over the gift to him. "Oh I see...is it for the roka or a goodbye gift, ha? ", he chuckled. He unwrapped it quickly and his face lit up looking at the brooch pin. "Oh haha thank you man! This would go perfectly with the attire!!", He said looking delighted. "But do the honors and pin it yourself", he said. Hahahaha. I melted. "ahh okay alright hehehe", I said and situated the brooch nicely as I could smell his musk from this distance and controlled myself from inhaling a large breath in front of him. We were too close and I wanted the moment to not go anywhere. To just stay. But then I had to step back. "I would've loved if you stayed for the wedding Ayaan", he said. And I was dying to stay. But couldn't stand the awkwardness and the distance between us.
"Yeah..wish I could", I said as I looked up from my feet directly into his eyes and for a moment neither of us looked away...as if searching for something in each other's eyes. He looked away from me and busied himself with brushing his already brushed hair. He wanted me to stay. I knew it. It was too difficult to handle. "Okay I'll see you at the ceremony then", I said to which he just nodded. And I stepped out from his room unable to restrain that single tear now.
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