Ducem Mortis | The Mandalorian

XXVI

He left me. Without a goodbye, an apology, nothing. He just left. One second he was here and next thing I knew he was gone.

I looked up as I heard the sky start to rumble. Dark clouds started to roll in as the sky darkened. All he left was a damn note. Calling it a note was nice considering it was just a piece of paper with two words on it. I closed my eyes in frustration as the sadness of Din leaving me behind started to fade into a small sting.

I was livid.

Feeling droplets of water run across my cheek caused me to look up. Lightening danced across the sky showing hues of white and purple as it branched out. At this moment I wouldn't mind if it were to strike me down.

Death would feel nice than what I was feeling right now.

Putting my hand on my knees I got up and walked towards my house. The second I walked through the door I could feel the change in the atmosphere. Instead of it feeling lonely and abandoned as it did outside this was different. It was heavy, it felt like death.

I looked up the stairs knowing that it was my mother. My stomach started to hurt as fear started to set in. This was it, this was the end of the line for my mother. My lungs felt like they were being filled with water each step I took upstairs. The walls felt like they were closing in causing me to grab onto the railing.

Come in Astraea, you have to be strong. Just one last time.

I looked up as I moved my grip up the railing as I walked up the stairs. Walking past my room and towards the end of the hall as I stood in front of my mother's door. The door was cracked, just barely letting light escape into the hallway. I pushed the door open walking into the room, catching the look of Lawrence as he leaned against the wall.

My mother laid still on the bed causing me to snap my direction towards Lawrence. "Is she?" I questioned only for Lawrence to shake his head, "She's still here. But she's not responding to external stimuli."

I looked away from him as I nodded my head. "Can she...can she hear me?" I asked as I walked over to her bed. "Possibly, although scientists never are quite sure." I sat down on the side of her bed as I gripped her hand. The only sound was her heart monitor as it beeped. Even I without being a doctor knew that the rhythm was off, too far apart. "I'll let you say your goodbyes." Lawrence said as he left the room.

I watched the door close before I turned my attention back towards the woman who I've looked up to my entire life. Who has became my headstone, my anchor, my everything. "Hey mom, it's me your daughter," I paused as my lips quivered. "I don't know what to do. And I really wish you were here to tell me what to do or to make a joke about my short hair right now." A sobbed like laugh came through me as I rubbed my tears of my face.

"I love you." I said as I put my head against the bed. "I just wish we had more time together. So you could see me become the star that you knew I was, even when I didn't believe it." I said shaking my head. "But mothers know everything right?" I said as I squeezed her hand. I looked down at her hand hoping that by a miracle her hand would squeeze mine back.

But it never did.

"I'm afraid," I whispered as I rubbed my thumb back and forth over her hand. "That I won't be able to tell the difference between good and evil without you. I know that if you could talk to me you would say that I'll know what to do when the time is right but I'm lost. I just feel so alone...I don't know how long I can do this." I shook my head as I didn't want to make my last words to my mother about me. But that's just it, there was only me now. No Din, no Grogu, no mother. Just another broken person in a vast universe. With a home planet that feels like she doesn't belong to. A man who left her. A mother who she looked up to gone.