Law of Attraction

22| Beckham

Edited.

Guilt; it had been my best friend for the past few days. I felt like I was confined inside a complex maze, forced to accept the reality of the situation. There was no way to escape my guilt unless I confronted it. But I was terrified of what I'd find at the heart of that maze. It was why I'd been all over the place since our last game against Ravenwood, although it was a win. My mind kept deviating back to that brief moment between Rafe and Nyx.

When Sebastian first told me that the two were together, a spark of rage blazed inside me. The vulnerable side that I fought to hide jumped into gear and I immediately thought of the worst likely scenario. I thought that she was conspiring with Rafe. But then I apprehended the idea was preposterous. Nyx had spent the past few weeks helping us, putting in maximum effort when planning the fundraisers. There was no way she'd betray us when she already came so far. When Nyx showed the slightest bit of care, she was in it for the long run.

Rafe's hands were on her shoulders, but she wasn't hostile. She looked hurt. Obviously, the green monster inside of me strived to get to the surface, but I contained it. My unnecessary anger would only cause problems when the obvious solution was to talk things through. Communication, Grayson reminded me. I couldn't hear much of their conversation because I stood quite a distance away, and the audience was still celebrating our win. At first, I didn't move closer because I apprehended it was a good thing. It was better to ask her about it than to eavesdrop. Countless movies have proved that eavesdropping was bad because you'd end up getting the story completely wrong.

It was like picking up a new book and trying to figure out the entire plot merely by going off from what you read of the synopsis. My plan was suitable until Nyx's expression contorted into one of pain. That's when I stepped imperceptibly closer and grasped one thing. If only you stood up against your fucking dad. My dad may beat me, but I never cower. If only I could say the same about you. After that, I zoned out completely. We all lived such privileged lives that we never fretted to peek outside of our bubble, afraid that it would pop.

Never would I have suspected that Rafe Denver was a victim of abuse. His expression said it all when Nyx confronted him. I thought back to the past two years he and I were on the same campus. There were never any bruises, and he never reached out to anyone. But then again, neither did Nyx. I felt stupid for not discerning these things, too caught up in my own shit. Rafe still hurt my team, but a bully only became one because they were bullied themselves. It didn't justify his actions against us, although it made me question everything.

That's where the guilt came in. The obvious answer was that Nyx commiserated with Rafe because they were comparable, had corrupt home lives. And I spent all my time hating the two of them. Well, I had a valid reason to despise Rafe because of what he'd done to the team. But all this time, I believed Nyx turned her back on me when she was only trying to help somebody who she saw herself in. There were people outside of the bubble I lived in. Perhaps it had nothing to do with me at all, just her wanting to help Rafe.