"I don't know if I'm ready for that, you know," I worry gazing at Luke as we sit on the opposite bunk beds to each other. "I love her, I really love her more than anything else, but what if it's too early for a marriage? I mean I'm young what if I mess up and lose her forever?"
"Well, then don't mess up, dude," he grins "No, seriously. If you really love her. and I know you do, you won't mess that up."
"But what if,"
"Cal, you make such a big deal out of it," Ash goes turning to me in the lower bunk bed "It's gonna be alright." he assures sincere.
"I always thought Ash would be the first one to get married." Luke admits giggling.
"I guess you were wrong, Lukey." Ash goes with his 'teenage girl voice'.
"Can you all just shut the fuck up now?! People are trying to sleep," Mike yells sounding like an old grumpy man "I need my beauty sleep, because I care about my look, unlike you hooligans!" he jokes unable to hide his laughter.
About 2 hours after Luke turned out the light to get some sleep just like the others who already fell asleep a while before all the lights were shut down, I decide to get out of the bus to get some air and smoke.
Just stepping out the bus my phone rings. The ringing is that loud that I close the door as fast and as silent as possible. I pick up to Mali babbling really fast, really loud.
"Oh my god, Calum. I just talked to Denise, you guys are getting married? You proposed to her? How did that come about? Wow, that's so exciting! I never thought you'd be engaged before me."
"Um hey Mali, I guess." I go not close to being as excited as her while placing a cigarette between my lips.
"Why aren't you as excited about it as I am," she worries "What's up bro?"
"It's not that I don't love her but," I hesitate deeply inhaling the cigarette smoke "I'm like worried that I, maybe I overwhelmed her, what if it's all going to fast for her. I don't want to rush her to make a decision like that. You know it's a huge decision to make and stuff."
"Aw Cal Pal. She sounded more than happy to me, she's really really excited about the engagement," I hear her smiling through the phone "Of course it was overwhelming for her, I mean she's an 18 year old, she didn't expect such a big thing from you. I can assure you that she's ridiculously pleased by you to make such a huge step. Don't worry kid."
"But what if I mess up or something?" I doubt myself.
"You won't. Even that you ask yourself these questions prove that you won't, trust me."
"Thanks Mali, I love you."
"I love you too mate, So how's promo tour?"
"Right now it's kinda boring, the boys are sleeping. I'm the last one to be awake."
"Ugh did the worries keep you awake? I guess you're out smoking right now," she sighs. "I don't like when you smoke Cal."
"Yep they did," I smile. "I'm sorry, It's like a stress killer to me, I can't help it."
"Don't be sorry, bro. You're old enough to make decisions like that, yourself."
"Yeah right, I'm gonna make my way to bed now, love you, g'night."
"Good night sleepy head, love you." She says lovingly and hangs up.
Before I go to bed I pick up my phone again. All smiles I text my fiance.
//02:16
So you told Mali about the engagement, huh? Did you tell you family yet, or do I have to call them?;D
Love & miss you loads.
Love Calum
The weight of the world falls off my shoulder sending the text. All the doubts than ran around my head left me alone.
I'm not gonna mess this up, I love her way too much to mess this up. I'd be a dumb piece of shit if I messed this up.
//02:19
I had to tell her goddammit! Anyways, I didn't tell them yet. Gonna do it tomorrow. Btw why aren't you sleeping right now? Go to bed, now!
Love & miss you more than anything
More Love Denise
With a grin growing on my lips I put the phone down and cock my head in the cushion.
