The Foolproof Plan

Chapter 23: IT'S TRUE IF YOU BELIEVE IT

I sat, straight-backed and a little uncomfortable, at her desk chair while she sat on the edge of her bed. I had waited over an hour before walking to Bella's apartment to talk to her about the rumors. She ushered me into her room because Cindy and Tae were watching TV.

Then I told her. She stayed quiet throughout and didn't interrupt me, which unnerved me a little. I could see that she blinked rapidly as I mentioned spending time with Minda, but I didn't tell her why, only that she was helping me with a project. When I finished explaining, I waited for her questions or comments.

But she simply looked at me.

"So?" I asked softly. "Do you have any questions? Are you upset?"

She looked down. "So, that's it? That's the whole story?"

"Well, yeah," I replied. I forced myself not to fidget.

"Seokjin," she began in a tone that indicated I might be in some type of trouble. "If you're sitting here, telling me that's everything, then I believe you." She paused. "You've said repeatedly that you care about me and want me to be happy, so I have no reason to think that you'd be fooling around with another girl or lie to me just like that."

"So...you believe me?"

She nodded. "Yes. Of course. I trust that you'll always tell me the truth. I really want to be with you, Jin. I want that more than anything because I love you. You care about me, too, don't you?"

"Of course I care about you. I love you. I love you so much," I said. "If my goal is for us to get back together, then why would I do something that is so opposite to that goal?"

She smiled. "I know. That's why I believe you. I just knew that all that couldn't be true. I know that you've changed, that you're not the same person you were before I met you."

"I'm not." I leaned my elbows on my knees, leaning toward her. "I feel that I've matured. Thanks to you. In fact, if you want me to, I'll stop my project with Minda."

"But isn't it an important assignment or something?" she asked. "What project is she helping you with?"

I gulped. What was I supposed to say? Oh, Minda's giving me tips on how to impress you and get you back. Then she might want to know what kind of tips. I couldn't just say it--assertiveness, dominance, and sexual experimentation did not just roll off the tongue. I sat up straight again. I didn't want to lie to her. I couldn't if I had any expectations of being together. A relationship must be based on honesty and trust. If I'd learned anything this past year, I've learned that. And yet...

"It's more of a social experiment," I mumbled. I could feel my scalp prickling with nervous heat. "It's not that important, really. I mean, it's not for a class or anything, so I can drop it anytime. We actually haven't really been working on it very long, and I think it's pretty much done. I-I think."

She nodded again. She seemed pensive, and I hoped that she understood that anything else I had going on in my life paled in comparison to my feelings for her.

"So, you really haven't had sex with her?" she asked suddenly.

My eyes went wide. "What? I-I told you it's nothing like that! It was more like interviews and things like that. Please believe me. My mind is always on you. My heart beats for you. My body--"

"I get it," she interrupted me, holding up her hand. "I'm not perfect, and I have no right to judge you. I also can't hide my feelings. You know exactly how I feel about you, and that scares me a little. I don't want to be hurt again."

"It was never my intention to hurt you," I replied. "I could never have feelings for anyone else."

"Okay. I believe you, so it must be true. Right?"

I got up and knelt in front of her. "Bella," I said softly, holding her hands in mine. "You know how I feel about you. I don't ever want to hurt you again. I just want to see you happy."

Suddenly, she leaned down and pressed her lips to mine. "I love you," she murmured. "All I want is to be with you."

 When I felt her begin to move away, I placed a hand on the back of her head and deepened the kiss. She opened her lips against mine, and I knew I was lost. Lost because I loved her so much and would say anything to keep her with me.

Lost because I had not told her the whole truth.