Chapter 41: DO YOU STILL WANT ME?

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I sat staring at nothing for a while when, all of a sudden, I felt a tremendous rush of emotion. I felt as if I was choking and leaned forward, my elbows on my knees. I felt the stinging in my eyes and the lump in my throat, but I willed everything back. This was ridiculous! I was a grown man! I was 25.It was time to man up and move on. I couldn't keep living in the past. I couldn't keep holding out for a dream that was fading fast.

With a groan, I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my photos until I found it. Isabella Domani--the dream I was holding on to. It was her graduation photo, sent to me by Taehyung in December. She was holding her cap in one hand and her diploma letter in the other. Her hazel eyes were looking into the camera, her head at an angle, and the sun was illuminating her hair in a bright halo. She looked like an angel.

"Do you still want me?" I whispered, staring at her image. It was a question that occupied my mind on a regular basis. If I only knew how she felt, if I had some word, some sign that she still loved me...

She'd graduated and been accepted into graduate school. She did it. I was so proud of her. My baby had reached her first two goals. Without me.

My foolproof plan flashed in my mind, and I smiled. It seemed a lifetime ago that I had set out to win her back and make her my girlfriend. Somewhere along the line, it became more important to let her know how much she meant to me and how much I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to find herself more than I wanted to define her.

So why was I still staring at her picture? Why was I still holding on against hope? Perhaps because I told her I'd wait as long as it took. Perhaps seven months wasn't a long time in the grand scheme of things, but in relationship terms, it was a long stretch of deserted road. When you love someone, you can't imagine going one or two days without seeing or hearing that person. Seven months was--I did a quick mental calculation--roughly 212 days, give or take. Might as well be 212 years.

It felt as if we'd been apart more time than we'd been together. Quick, blurred images of Abigail, Fiona, Micha, my father all faded into the background, and Bella stood alone in front of all those painful snapshots. But I wouldn't change a thing. The heartbreak and the tears were just as important as the laughter and the love because we'd shared the experiences together. Whether we ever saw each other again, it was a bond that would always link us. Yet, the world was littered with the broken pieces of relationships even as the bonds of love held tight.

"I should let you go," I mumbled at her picture. My thumb hovered over the Delete button, but I couldn't bring myself to touch it. You coward, I berated myself. Just let her go. Just press the button and do something with your life. If it's meant to be, it will be. You'll be together again, but all this moping is pointless. Either go get her back or stop crying about it. A knock at the door interrupted my self-pity.

I was still staring down at my phone as I opened my front door.

"Hi."

"Bella! What...?" My eyes drank her in. Was I hallucinating? Had I lost my mind? "You're really here? When? Why...?" I couldn't find the words to express how I felt. Oh, God! She was here!

She bit her lower lip nervously and nodded. Very slowly she brought her left hand up from behind her back and held it up. I blinked at the bright flash that hit my eyes.

It was the ruby ring. "Do you...still want me?" Her voice was shaky with uncertainty.

I pushed my hair back with my hand and tried to process her words. I couldn't speak.

Fear flashed across her big hazel eyes and her lower lip quivered. She brought her hand down and looked away. "I...I'm so sorry. Oh, Jin! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't've come. I'm sorry I put the ring on my left hand." Her words tumbled out breathlessly. "I-I didn't mean to presume...I mean, I didn't expect--"

"Yes!" I interrupted and reached out for her. I pulled her into a hug. "Oh, God, yes! Of course I still want you. I will always want you."

"Jin...Jinnie, my love," she sighed as she melted into my embrace. "I missed you so much! I'm so sorry! I don't deserve you. I..." She let out a sob.

"No, no, don't cry," I said soothingly, holding her head against my chest. "You have nothing to be sorry about. My darling girl, my baby, I love you! I'm so happy you came back."

She took a ragged breath. "A very wise and handsome man once said, 'I can live without you, but I don't want to.' And I realized that I don't want to be without you! I love you, Jin! I love you, and I will do anything to get you back! Just give me another chance."

I peppered her face with kisses. "There's nothing that you have to do except love me. This time, it will work out. You and I are meant to be.  Your left hand is the perfect place for that ring. This time, it's forever." I touched her lips tentatively with mine, enjoying the electricity that still ran through my body when I kissed her.

"Forever," she mumbled against my lips before I claimed her mouth in a full, passionate kiss. We had found our way back to each other. All I'd had to do was be patient.

My plan finally worked because I hadn't followed any plan. I had followed my heart.

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