Chapter 36: I FORGIVE YOU

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"No," I said, shaking my head. "No. Don't say it. I don't want...I don't need to hear it." I jumped up from the bed.

"Jin, wait!" Bella scrambled out of bed and ran to grab my arm.

I shook her off. "I said no, Bella!" I exclaimed. "No!"

"No, what? You can't forgive me?" she asked.

"Yes, I-I can. I just don't want to hear it!" I threw open my closet door and reached blindly for whatever clothing I could find. "I don't! I'm just going to pretend that I didn't hear anything."

She stood still, her only movement was the vibrations of her sobs. "I'm...sorry. I just...think we... should be honest. No...secrets."

I pulled a shirt viciously from its hanger and spun around to face her. "There's honesty, Bella, and then there's torture. Hearing something like this is torture for me. It hurts." I ripped my pajama top over my head and struggled to pull on the shirt. "Don't tell me any more because I don't want to know, okay?" I went back into my closet to find some jeans.

She wiped her eyes. "I'm...sorry. It meant nothing. I was going through a difficult time and--"

I glared at her as I buttoned my jeans. "I don't care! I don't want to hear it, okay?"

"But, Jin," she insisted. "Won't you listen to anything I have to say? I need to explain because I don't want you to resent me." She tried to hold my arm as I brushed past her, but I shook her off again.

I grabbed some socks from a drawer and picked up whatever shoes were on hand. "I've heard enough. I don't need details, Bella. I don't want details."

"Jin!"

"I said enough!" I yelled. She jumped back. "I forgive you! Just drop it! I don't need your explanations or apologies!" I threw the bedroom door open.

"Where are you going?" she asked, following me. She blocked the front door. "Please tell me where you're going."

I placed my hands on her shoulders. "I love you, but I need you to get out of the way. I said I forgive you. I. Forgive. You."

"Oh my God, Jin, please! Don't!"

I moved her easily away from the door and opened it. "Stay here," I ordered. I slammed the door before she could protest again.

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