manage me, i'm a mess // a.g

1. "wendy moira angela darling."

~ ERIKA ~

"Holy shit, this is insane!" my best and only friend, Dylan, screamed over the music.

"Yes, it is!" I replied, just as enthusiastically. We were at All Time Low's New York concert, and I couldn't have been happier than I was right then. What a day to be my last.

When they started playing Lost In Stereo, I started dancing like an idiot and making a complete fool of myself. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. 

So far, the concert had been amazing. But when Alex finished playing Remembering Sunday, I knew what was coming. 

He said something about keeping it melo for one more song, and I froze. 

"This next song," Alex said, "It's from our new album, Nothing Personal. It's one of my favorite songs on the record, actually. It's called Therapy, it goes like this." 

My ship went down in a sea of sound
When I woke up alone I had everything
A handful of moments I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade
In a city of fools, I was careful and cool
But they tore me apart like a hurricane
A handful of moments I wished I could change, but I was carried away

By the end of the second chorus, I was crying my eyes out shamelessly. My eyeliner and mascara were running down my face with the tears, and I held onto Dylan's hand for dear life. 

Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to
They're better off without you, they're better off without you
Arrogant boy, cause a scene like you're supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you, you're lucky if your memory remains.

 Alex sang the remainder of the song, and when it finished, a wild guitar strum was heard and then he broke the stool he was sitting on. 

"I've been trying to break that fucking this this entire tour and I finally did it!" he announced. 

"Did you break it?" Jack asked. 

"Yeah!" 

+++

"Jack is looking at you!" Dylan said during Coffeeshop Soundtrack. "Quick, get on my shoulders!"

And I did as he said, and sat on his shoulders, dancing and singing along maniacally. Some guy next to me got on his friend's shoulders, too, and I looked at him. I realized that all I wanted was for All Time Low to notice me, and if that meant what I was about to do would be on video forever, then so be it. 

I leant forward and Dylan walked in the same direction. Then, I started kissing the blonde stranger. 

"Hey Alex, those two people are making out!" Jack screamed. 

"Where? Oh shit!" Alex replied.

"Yo camera guy!"

"He's on it, look at that crane! Swivel! IT'S TWO GIRLS!" Alex exclaimed, then corrected himself. "No, maybe not... It's a guy..." He laughed awkwardly. "I'm sorry dude, you have long hair and you're tanned and you're not very hairy like I am..." 

"We thought you were Chad Kroeger from Nickelback!" Jack said. 

"I'm just saying, dude," Alex interrupted, "If I met you in a dark alley I might make out with you accidentally, but hey!"

The show continued on, and I never dared to get off of Dylan's shoulders. I wondered what he thought of this whole experience. 

Well, at least I'd drawn attention to myself, which had been my ultimate goal all along. Before I knew it, they had finished the concert with the best rendition of Dear Maria I'd heard so far, and my brain automatically started to tell me that this was it, that my life was about to end. 

No, Erika, you still need to give Alex the letter. 

And with that, Dylan and I headed to the place where All Time Low were hosting their meet and greet.

Spending $25 on a Hustler Club membership was the best thing I had ever done in my whole life. And my name just happened to be picked on this particular concert. Obviously I brought Dylan with me, because who else would I bring? 

Waiting in line watching the four boys meet their other fans filled me with anticipation. I couldn't wait to be the one taking a photo with Jack, hugging Rian, telling Zack he was perfect or giving Alex my letter. 

The line moved incredibly quickly, and soon I was face-to-face with Zack Merrick. 

"Hello," he said brightly. 

"Hey Zack," I said after a while. I realized that I couldn't freeze - embarrassing myself would be okay considering I'd be dead tomorrow. 

"How are you?" 

"Good, how are you?" 

"Brilliant," he replied as he signed the shirt I had just handed to him. Dylan took my photo with him, and I took his photo, and we moved on to Jack. 

"Hey babe," he said, looking me in the eye and smiling lopsidedly. "Oh- you were the one that hooked up with Chad Kroeger's doppelgänger, weren't you?" 

"Guilty," I said with a short laugh. 

"That was awesome! Was he a random?" 

"Yep," I confirmed. 

"Fuck yeah, we are officially all cupids. Our music brings people together." 

"That, it does," I smiled.

"What's your name?"

"Erika," I replied. 

"It's nice to meet you," Jack said, and signed my shirt. Dylan took my photo with Jack and chatted to him for a little while, while I moved on to Rian. 

"Hey Rian," I said, and gave him a hug. 

"Hello! What's your name?" 

"Erika," I responded. He signed my shirt and we discussed Blink-182 for a little while before Dylan came along to take my photo, and then I finally got to Alex Gaskarth. 

"Hello gorgeous, what do they call you?" he asked. I stood in front of him, frozen, not believing my eyes. Alex Gaskarth was real, and he was standing right in front of me. "Well get on with it, girl!" he chuckled, quoting Peter Pan. 

"My name is Wendy," I joked, following on with his quote. "Wendy Moira Angela Darling." 

"Wendy's enough," he laughed, clearly surprised that I knew how to respond to his reference. "And your real name is?" I got the letter out of my pocket. 

"You'll have to read this to find out," I tried to smile as widely as I could. 

"Hey, of course I'll read it!" he said. "Let me take a photo of you so I remember what you look like when I read the letter." 

He took a polaroid camera from under the table and pointed it at my face. Under pressure, I made a silly face and watched the photo print itself out. Alex shook it and put in on top of the envelope I'd given him.

"Thanks," I said to him. "It means a lot to me that you'll read it." 

"You're very welcome." 

He took my shirt and signed it, using up all of the blank space on it.

"It was lovely to meet you," he said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. Dylan came along, took a photo of me and him, and I took his photo with Alex, and we left. 

"Did you give him your letter?" Dylan asked when we left the hall. 

"Yes, yes I did," I replied. "Life is now complete." 

But Dylan would never understand the real meaning behing what I had just said.