manage me, i'm a mess // a.g

29. "i don't want you breaking anything."

- - - MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING - - -

If you're easily affected by detailed references to self-harm, verbal bullying and/or family neglect, please please please please PLEASE don't read this. You're lovely, and if you need anything, feel free to message me.

~ ERIKA ~ 

At ten in the morning, Alex began his I'm-about-to-wake-up ritual - switching from one side to another, yawning groggily and stretching out his arms to their full length behind him. While this occurred, I scurried back to our shared bed and pretended to be asleep - I didn't exactly feel like dealing with anybody right now, not even my boyfriend.  

"I know you're awake, Ari," Alex said as he walked in.  

"Go away," I whined, still not in the mood to face humans. This was unlike any period I'd ever had before, and it had come at the worst time ever.  

"Nope, I'm staying here with you," he replied stubbornly, sitting down at the foot of the bed.  

"Leave me alone!"  

"Can I just say something?" he tried to reason.  

"No, piss off." 

"Well, I'm going to say it anyway - at least we know you're not pregnant. And I'm staying with you for a few hours, until soundcheck. I don't want you breaking anything.  

"Now, what do you want? Tea? Chocolate? Cuddles? Chick flicks?"  

"All of the above?" I surrendered. Alex obliged and in a matter of minutes, we were lying in each other's arms watching The Notebook and I was admittedly less of an emotional wreck.  

"Thank you," I whispered, kissing his cheek.  

"Anything for my girl."  

And all of a sudden, him calling me 'my girl' made my insides churn with jubilation.  

"What?" he chuckled when he perceived me grinning like an idiot.  

"Nothing, fuck off." I replied, shoving him. I tried to be serious, but failed miserably. 

And we returned to silently watching the movie.  

+++

A few hours later, the boys were at soundcheck, Fred and Flo were sightseeing, my pains had subsided, and I was helping Vinny sell merch outside the venue, because I felt useless just watching them play from backstage and stealing their already limited supply of food.

"Hi, how can I help you?" I said, forcing sweetness, to one of the girls.  

"Who are you?" the girl asked sourly, chewing her gum loudly and obnoxiously.  

Vinny glanced at me. "She's touring with us this year. How can she help you?"  

"Are you dating one of the boys? Because just so you know, Alex is mine."  

I couldn't help but scoff cynically. "Who do you think you are?"  

"So you are dating Alex," she nodded smugly. "Why he'd choose you is completely beyond me, you ugly piece of shit."  

Her friend then piped up. "Don't worry, Amy, she's probably just a hook up. He'll kick her to the curb in no time." 

"You're right," Amy smirked at her friend. "Alex would never date someone like her. An anorexic who doesn't even have boobs isn't exactly Alex's type." 

"And it's not exactly like she has the face to make up for it. Maybe he hasn't come out with it yet because he's too embarrassed to be seen with her."