enemies to lovers

Feelings

Me and Stiles haven't really spoken since our sexual encounter or should I say I haven't really spoken to Stiles. He keeps trying to speak to me but I always end up ignoring him, not in a rude way I'm just a bit more cautious after what he did to me.

It's not that I don't want to be in a relationship with him I just can't trust him, I want to but I can't. I want to talk to him about how I feel but I'm too scared, what if he thought nothing of what happened and that when he told me he loved me it was just a mistake.

Its times like these where I hate that I am an overthinker for somebody else talking about your feelings is a walk in the park but for me it's so nerve racking. I think about every single situation I could end up in and what could go wrong no matter how extreme. Sometimes I wish I could just switch my brain off stop worrying about everything and anything but unfortunately, I can't which is why I enjoy sleeping so much. When you sleep your mind is completely clear you are free from all the intrusive thoughts and you can escape reality; it's so calming even if whilst your asleep you're not conscious enough to notice it.

After what felt like hours of waying up the pro and the cons I decide me and Stiles need to talk so I text him telling him that I think we need to talk. We arrange for us to talk at my house as there isn't anyone else home like usual; its only me, my mom and Scott. My mom works long hours at the hospital and my brother always has some sort of werewolf thing he needs to do so the house is pretty much always free.

Stiles got here within about 15 minutes and we decided to go up to my room to talk. Things were slightly awkward between us so for a moment we just sat on the end of my bed in a tense silence. Stiles clearly being braver than me decided to speak first which I was thankful for because if it wasn't for that I don't think I would ever have said a word.

"So" he says uncomfortably.

"Look Stiles I really like you" I say.

"Well then why have you been ignoring me" he questions.

"Well, because I don't know I'm just confused" I explain.

"Confused about what" he says.

"Everything, about how I feel and what I want and about how you feel" I say.

"Well, I'm not sure if I can help you with your feelings but just to clear up, I know that I like you" he says.

I want to feel comforted by his words but I can't because there's a little voice in my head telling me that he's lying and that I shouldn't trust him and I help but to listen to it.

"But that's the problem" I say.

"What is" he questions.

"You keep telling me you like me but I can't seem to trust you, I want to trust you I really do but I can't" I explain.

He just sits there for a moment probably processing what I had just said. I notice a single tear roll down his cheek and guilt immediately floods through me; was all of this my fault, should I just stop being so insecure, why can't I just believe him.

"Y/n I love you" he says and I can see the sadness in his eyes.

"I love you too" I say and his face lights up.

"You love me" he asks.

"Yes, in a weird way I love you more than anything and it hurts too much to deny it any longer" I admit.

He flies towards me attaching our lips at lightning speed and it feels like fireworks. I have butterflies in my stomach like never before but not because I'm nervous, it's more of a soothing feeling. It feels like I'm home.

"Y/n I think I love you too much and as unusual that sounds its true, I would do anything for you and I'm really sorry you ever felt that you couldn't trust me" he says.

I reply with a soft but passionate kiss because I'm honestly speechless those words were the exact words I needed to hear. I believe him, I trust him and it's the most phenomenal feeling in the world there are no more voices telling me he's lying and there is not one bone in my body that doesn't trust him.

It's been a few hours since Stiles has left and I still haven't stopped smiling, people are going to think I'm cosplaying the Chesire cat if I don't stop.

STILES'S POV:

It's been a couple hours since I left y/n's and I'm so happy however there is one thing that I'm worrying about; asking y/n to be my girlfriend. I know it might seem silly but I'm really nervous, not because I'm worried about her saying no but because I want to ask her in the most perfect way possible. But I can't seem to think of any ideas and the ideas I do think of are too boring and if there is anything I don't want it to be its boring.

I decide to call Lydia as my only other friend is Scott and no offence to him but I didn't really think he would have any great ideas. Lydia is very dramatic so quite a few of her ideas were way too out there such as me skydiving whilst holding a sign that says 'Y/n will you be my girlfriend' but eventually we came up with the perfect idea. We planned everything out so nothing should go wrong, or that's what we're hoping.

After getting off the phone with Lydia I laugh to myself thinking about the fact I was asking Lydia Martin how to ask someone to be my girlfriend. I had always thought it was Lydia that I would be asking but I guess the best things come when you least expect it.