Chapter 36

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“I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone- you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.”

Chapter 36

The funeral was a week after the accident. A week after she had dies. My mother handled all the funeral arrangement, the funeral itself was held in a small church. Not many people showed up, some kids from school and some of Scars family. Her mother came an hour before the funeral dressed in all black, with a veil and sunglasses on. She acted like the caring mother, who broke down. But I saw through it, her tears were fake, she didn’t have Scar anymore to remind her of the over she lost once, Scar to her was a mistake that she wished didn’t happen, and that sickened me.

My mother and father took Scars death hard, they wished they had known what was going on, that they could have protected her more, I felt guilt, I knew what was going on and I did the minimum to stop it, I should have tried harder, I turned my back on her at the last moment because I couldn’t handle that fact that she was being so stupid. It still confused me, why did she keep going back, I was somewhat angry with her; she couldn’t have cared less about her life if she put up with it for so long. I couldn’t dwell on those thoughts because I wanted to remember her and everything good about her. Even though I took her death hard, I wouldn’t let it change me; I wouldn’t fall in to a depression and mourn for years. I would remember her, I feel the grief, and I knew that it was something that would never go away but I wouldn’t let grief rule my life. I had plans for the future, I knew that I wanted to be a doctor now, and I applied last minute to university, medical school, hoping and praying that I would make it.

We were at the grave site; the sky was cloudy, bringing a certain gloom to the aura, it fit perfectly. A part of me didn’t want to say goodbye. A tear escaped my eye as the priest sent a final blessing over the coffin. I picked up a handful of dirt, and through in on the coffin as the lowered it, it was symbolic, but I couldn’t remember the meaning.

“May your soul rest in peace” I whispered.

That was my goodbye.

I looked up and my eyes met stormy grey ones. My eyes narrowed and I clenched my fists.

What was he doing here? Didn’t he have any respect for her?

I walked over to him, his face was remorseful he stood away from the crowd. Before I could think I punched him, he stumbled back but made no move to retaliate. He just stared at me, he looked as if he knew he deserved that, but I wanted to hit him more. All he came out of the hospital with was a broken arm, and a few cuts here and there. Before I could make any more moves to punch him again, my father held me back, “He isn’t worth it.”

“The hell he isn’t. You deserve to die alone and miserable Cole. You have to live with what you’ve done to Scarlet. I hope it eats you inside, and is on your mind every day, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it and most of all I hope your conscience eats at you and you can’t live with yourself. I hope that you change, for your own good.” I screamed at him in rage.

He seemed taken aback, but he nodded his head and turned to leave. I didn’t feel sorry for him at all.

He brought all this upon himself.

I was happy that it was all over, Scarlet would no longer suffer at the hands of him.

Death was her only escape.

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