The Cruelest Summer

Chapter 7- "You're Gorgeous"

The sexual tension had climbed to such an intense altitude that time had reached a standstill. This warped sense of time and space made their fifteen seconds of hand-holding feel like an eternity.

Joe's hand finally made its way back to his cocktail. Taylor swallowed hard, trying to keep her breathing at bay as she watched him take a careful sip, his fist wrapped around the cold glass. I must have lost my goddamn mind. I'm losing my shit because he's drinking a gin and tonic. Why is this so hot? I've seen plenty of people sip alcoholic beverages and never once have I gotten horny. Met Gala 2011, I saw Brad Pitt take a shot of tequila and I was as dry as a bone. What the hell is happening to me?

"So now that we've established that you're bloody miserable," Joe bellowed, clearing his throat, "what have you been up to?"

"Well as I'm sure you could tell from my texts, I've been spending a lot of time with the cats," Taylor answered.

"Naturally."

"And that's been good- for me at least. Not so much them. I think they're annoyed that I keep drinking wine and blasting Trouble Will Find Me around the house. The ladies are independent creatures and I'm like the spinster aunt that came and crashed on their couch," she continued. Taylor was acutely aware of how honest she was being with Joe. And it felt good. For whatever reason, she wasn't embarrassed to admit that she had suddenly metamorphosized into a reclusive hermit. It was odd because just yesterday she had neglected to tell Karlie about her empty social calendar. She had even lied to her mom about having brunch plans with Lily, just to get her off her back.

"Wait you like Trouble Will Find Me?" Joe gasped.

"Yeah, it's only one of the greatest albums of all time," Taylor gushed. "Are you a fan of the National?"

"Massive," he answered excitedly. "I used to exclusively listen to Eminem, but then I saw them in concert and totally fell for all of the motifs in the lyrics and the experimentation in the production. Their music was just bloody brilliant."

Taylor barely knew the man sitting in front of her, yet all of a sudden all she wanted to do was run away with him to an underground indie-rock concert. She could just picture it: the two of them screaming the lyrics to "Sea of Love" while downing red solo cups filled with fluorescent gin and tonics. But that'll never happen. It'll never happen for thirteen million reasons. Just let it go. You'll never get that close to him anyway. You and Joe sharing the same favorite band doesn't eliminate the fact that you both have completely different lives.

"I listen to "Sorrow" after every break-up," Taylor unexpectedly blurted out. She didn't remember those words forming in her mouth- they just slipped out. This was, unfortunately, becoming a pattern for her: unloading embarrassing tidbits of information on Joe.

"No way," he gaped. "That's wicked because I played that on repeat on my iPod when my girlfriend at Bristol broke up with me."

A giggle escaped Taylor's lips.

Joe blushed. "Are you making fun of nineteen-year-old Joe's broken heart?" he teased.

"No," she assured him, fighting off a grin. "It's just....we're the same."

Something happened to Taylor in that moment. It was different than the electricity she had felt when Joe touched her hand- this was far more delicate, far more profound. It was as if a missing link had snapped into place, a familiar pain had disapparated into thin air.

Taylor had to tell him about the breakup. "I was gonna text you about this until you told me you were coming to New York; I figured I could just wait to tell you in person. I broke up with Tom," she confessed.