Watching Over You • Nomin

last words

Still with you…
Always with you…
And will stay with you…

When will I ever get over saying that I love you? Probably never, you know it…
Probably this is the last time you'll ever receive something from me...I hope Jaemin lets you see this :) that lucky guy! I hope you are happy with him and he takes care of you properly.

Oh to be loved by you…

The first time I saw you… outside that middle school, I knew it would be you, and you still think you never did anything to me? You made me feel interested to come to school, to study... probably you would consider me heartless when all I did was hurt you...it wasn't like that, Jeno. Growing up without knowing who my parents are, what my name is, just know that it was a bad life and the only one I got is my Uncle.

Getting used to the darkness, being alone, and going without food used to be, let's say the worst form of torture. And not to feel loved would come next. Until I found my uncle and you.

Could you believe my first name was Flower? You might let out a chuckle… it's funny how he came up with it, true. But after I saw you, you made me remember myself, it made me cry, because, I wanted to love you so much and take care of you without breaking you apart...but, I couldn't.

I'm sorry for everything. I know this isn't enough. But I have nothing else.

My uncle loved taking pictures...he loved taking pictures of everything beautiful. And for me, nothing was as beautiful as you are. So I always took you… your smile looks so natural, you should look at yourself, you're the beautiful view.

You made me feel safe…like, I had someone in my life...but I couldn't live up to it. But what you made me feel is something I can never feel from someone else.

I didn't know how to approach you, I didn't know anything about you until I saw Jiya. Bless her for doing better research than me. (Research just isn't for me :D ) probably the only one I used to interact with… she thought she loved you more than I did :(

Well, RIP

And then I knew everything about you. Every little thing. And I feel in love with research. You're the only book I always loved to read. Our romance is the only one that kept me alive… we could defy science. Physics just isn't for our love because our love is powerful.

Thanks to Jiya's fucking ass for dying. Don't ask me how I know and I witnessed everything :) I don't like getting my hands dirty like that writing it. I don't want to scare you more :(
(maybe tell Lele that I'm sorry for him)

Her house sucks by the way… bloody pink bitch (no offense :P ) but it sheltered me for so long… I'm thankful and I'm glad that you never asked me to take you to my house. Maybe you never gave a shit about me...but, I just know for a fact that you cared for me...and that's enough for me to fall for you all over again.

It's how simple you are… you just breathe and I'm on my legs for you to just give you everything you want.

Jeno-ya...it hurts. Everything hurts.

This fucker has a basement...and I think, I feel calm here. I'm getting used to feeling the dark and being alone. Although, I have you… I realized I can't force you. I love you. The last thing I wanna do is hurt you. And what I've done is enough.

It feels like I'm being choked...not the best feeling in the world for me… :) But as I said, you aren't the reason for this… I am. And I like it this way. I know you would care the least.

The name on my last breath is mine. But the rest of my existence, it's yours. My love doesn't have an end. Death doesn't stop it. It's my love that's as new as a baby and would go on forever with you.

I know for a fact that I'll remain in your thoughts, you'll remember me in every second of your trauma, forever and you'll remember that even though dead, I'll belong to you.

I might be too bad for you to wish that I'll hope I'll haunt you even after I'm dead but… it's just my way of letting you know that I'm there forever with you :) and I never end.

Our universe...it never ends. My love for you always expands.

Love♡