Hiding Behind Smiles

21| Useless?

Naina's POV

Aunty what did you do?! He was about to have a severe panic attack at home and now this! Don't break him more..he is already so fragile!" I yelled and ran away. Not before glancing at Aunty and guilt was cream in her face.

I rushed out and saw him moving towards his car. I ran behind him,"Ridh!" But he didn't stop.

"Ahh!" I hissed in pain when I tripped on a stone and fell and was trying to get up. I looked above to see him opening the car door with his shaking hands.

I was worried for him was an absolutely understatement.

I stood up and looked for taxies. "Hey hey hey can you..can you follow that car please," I asked in lack of breaths and he nodded.

"Can you please go a little quick," I said impatiently. What scared me was the uneven driving of Ridh's car.

"Ma'am here you are," he said and I paid him. "Keep the change." I stated and ran into the elevator.

"Ridh!" I said and ran after him.

I reached our floor and opened the door. Rushing to his room, I found his room empty. I took deep breaths to calm myself. My mind was everywhere, I was feeling so dizzy.

"Ridh." I muttered softly to myself with teary eyes and moved to my room. Opening the door I saw a crying Ridh clutching my duvet and breathing heavily.

"Ri..Ridh!" I whisper yelled and say beside him.

"I'm a bad son. I..I couldn't save Maa when she was crying..I..i left her alone. I didn't care about papa. I'm..i'm bad..I can't take care of anyone." He was muttering to himself and I felt my heart crumble. The sight was heartbreaking.

Nothing is more painful than seeing a man blaming himself of tragedies he couldn't control.

"No." I whispered defeated and hugged him.

He didn't hug me back. He stood still. He stopped muttering. This scared me more than his cries. "Ridh?" I muttered as softly as possible.

"Go away."

"Hu-huh?" I ask dumbfoundedly.

"Go away, I don't..I don't want any...go..go" He started screaming incoherent sentences and pushed me. "Go I..am no..go away.." His hands went up to his hair and started pulling it roughly.

"I'm not weak, don't hug..hug me.." he muttered to himself. It was barely audible but the deafening silence except his own voice helped me hear it.

He fell down beside the bed, hugging his knees. "They were right. I'm useless. I'm weak." He said and smiled.

I let out a laugh. A bitter humourless laugh. "Oh really? You are useless? Isn't it so amazing how a useless man makes me feel the most special?" I ask and sat beside him.

I decided not to hug him. Not to let him cry—now—and rather treat him like I treat a normal being. I mentally noted to ask him to meet his therapist someday.

I glanced at him and saw him staring it me in a daze. Lost, confused and a hope. "Huh?" He let out.

"The weak useless man makes me feel happy, his embrace makes me feel home. His lamest of jokes make my day. His smile. His raw pure smile is the most precious thing in the whole damn world. Then what does useless in your dictionary mean, Ridhhant Gupta?" I ask crossing my legs, putting my elbow on my thigh and resting my chin on my hand.

"Uh.." He started and I smiled.

I scooted closer to him; wrapping my hands around his shoulder I ask,"Are you useless, Ridh?" I ask.

"No," I hear the smallest of whispers and I giggle. The giggle comes out rough because of my hoarse throat. "You amaze me, Ridhhant." I say and plant the lightest kiss on his temple.

He lets out a shaky breath. "I just want to..rest," he started,"in your arms." Making me smile. "Please.

"Always, baby." I say softly and get up. Laying on the bed I glance at his disheveled hair. He lays beside me without any emotion.

"Just sleep." I say wiping hair off his forehead.

~•~•~

Short chapter. (◕દ◕)