Hiding Behind Smiles

22| Tired.

Ridh's POV

"Ridh go!" I turn my head to see Maa soaked in blood but more importantly, her eyes screamed for help. "Ridh go! Run away." She helplessly whispered. I turned my head around and i was suddenly in a hospital. All the gazes were at me.

"A person sleeping on pavements!"
           "Your Maa is a slut."
"He isn't our son by blood."
                 "Ridh run!"

Voices were echoing in the room, the room was dark now. My head was spinning, I glanced around to find a certain person.

"Naina." I whispered clutching my clothes. "Save..m-meee." A hopeless request escaped my lips.

"Hey hey Ridh I'm here." I heard a voice. Where is she? I can't find her.

"I'm right beside you. It's just you and me." She said and i felt a caress my cheeks. I glanced around the room then..

I opened my eyes to see our room, I turned my head and saw Naina with a worried expression. I loosened my grips on the blanket and hugged her.
"I was scared," I muttered taking her scent.

"Why can't you be in my nightmares, with me?" I ask. She caresses my back softly. "Those are your fights to overcome, Ridh. I can only assure you that I'm not leaving you, I'm always here to wake you up when it gets too much." She said and i sighed.

"What's the time?"

"Around 4 pm. C'mon let's grab some noodles yo," she said playfully. "'kay." I whispered and pulled away. I got out of the bed and walked towards the washroom,"Stay here; don't leave." I said to her and she nodded.

I came out and glanced at the palm trees through the mirror while she got ready.

Am I really just a homeless boy to Maa? Does she really think I can't be family to anyone. What are all of my friends thinking? Am i useless? Is it gonna be this way forever?
    But Naina says i make her feel special, she never leaves my side. She doesn't find my scars gross. She finds them beautiful, she doesn't look at me with sympathy but with worry.
   What if I am actually beautiful like she says and it's just my mind trying to make me believe I am not?

My thoughts were broken with Naina tapping my shoulders. She raised her brows and I shook my head. Unable to smile. Smiling felt wrong this time. Smiling to her felt wrong when i knew my heart was nowhere near smiles and bliss.

I simply took her hand and walked out. Grabbing two packets of Noddles in the kitchen I held them out to Naina.

After some time, which was not 2 minutes as the packet said, we sat down on couch with the evening sunrays tiptoeing on the walls.

"Stop slurping so loud Ridh," Naina said and a pout came to my lips as a first reaction.
"But I don't taste the noodles without doing that."

"The fu- what?" She said and made a poker face and a smile tugged at my lips.

"Okay eat how you want," she said and rolled her eyes while I decided not too make too much sound but enough so that I tasted the food.

I glanced at Naina and saw her smiling, looking at the sunset. "What's so beautiful in the sunset, hmm?" I voiced out. "What's not beautiful in it?"

"It reminds me of a certain man," she said and I narrowed my eyes. "Who?" I asked.

"You," she said with a subtle smile.
"There's always something so warm in the grief of people who smile, y'know." She spoke with a charm in her eyes. Her eyes always sparkle whenever she speaks what she finds beautiful. "How?" I ask, feeling comfort at her words.

"They resemble sunsets, a fading sunshine and a coming darkness. And that's where most of us found our solace. Most of us love sunset." She said.

"I can't believe you, how do you think of these ugh." I said. "I got the prettiest muses, tskk." she flexed and i chuckled.

"Witty people." I mutter for her to not hear.

"Hmm?" She asks and I shook my head.

I stared at the dying sunset, darkness taking over now. I felt anger rise in me from nowhere. I always did what they want, I have spent half of my life proving people my worth.

I was the perfect son Maa and Dad wanted, took care of Bhumika like the perfect elder brother. Just one mistake, that too because I was drowning in my own past, and they blame me. She blames me.

"Ridh? You fine?"

"No." My anger came up to the surface. I was frustrated.

"I am just tired of proving people I am worth their love and efforts. I did all the things to be a perfect son for dad and mom and also took care of Bhumika like the best brother but still she ended up breaking all my efforts and trust. What was I mistake? I couldn't help my father when I myself was drowning. I would never leave my family when they needed me the most, I'd be there with them if my trauma was something I could control. BUT I CANT AND THEY DONT GET IT." I ended up shouting at the end.

"I get it, Ridh." A soft voice behind me called me down.

I sighed and returned back to my place on the couch. I didn't realize I got up and moved towards the window. I slumped on my place. Tired. Frustrated.

"I want to cry y'know. I am so confused." I muttered.

Naina's POV:

Ridh's constant change in mood was worrying but I kept it aside and moved closer to him. "There's nothing wrong it crying Ridh." I softly muttered.

His arms lazily wrapped around my waist in a tight hug. "I want to sleep again," he muttered and i chuckled.

"Nope, let's go for a walk." I said.

A/N

Hi. :P
How was it?