Hiding Behind Smiles

25| Decisions

Ridhhant's POV

God damn I love this woman.

I watched her as she snored lightly and some strands of hair were on her face and her mouth a little ajar. I move some hair away from her face and she stirrs.

"Wake up Firefly," I said softly shaking her head and she groans.."That's now how you wake someone up." she said in a raspy voice and I chuckle. "Don't care." I said pull off the duvet and she whines like a child. "You're so bad!"

"You weren't complaining yesternight," I said with a smirk and she slightly opened her eyes and then looked away and her face grew red. I laughed and walked over to her beside the bed. "Wake up you cocoon!" I say and shake her body. "Okay!" She says and gets up and after a minute or two lazily walks towards the bathroom.

~•~•~

My heart was pounding at my chest as we drove on the road to Jaipur. "Ridh, I really don't think you should-"

"I want to." i said and continued driving. she let out a sign and stared outside.

I kept driving until it was 2 hours I was driving and we took a break and ate biryani in a restaurant. We reached Jaipur and decided to go directly to the central jail.

~•~

My legs were shaking as I sat on the chair waiting for Mr and Mrs Sinha to come. Naina was probably outside anxious of how I'll be. I was waiting and staring the ground till the cops had two old miserable looking people before me.

I gulped audibly and looked upto them.

Those faces.

I could hear their shouts and scream, how the uncle's kicks and slaps felt. I couldn't breathe properly...I tried to think of all the things which made me happy..Maa, Papa, Naina.
Taking deep shaky breathes I sat up straight as they two sat before me with guilt filled eyes.

Those very eyes once held rage and hatred. The biggest of my fears.

"Sorry..." The woman choked out and I tried not to burst out crying and screaming of help. "Wha..what ddo you wa..want to to..talk?" I whispered gripping my hold on the chair. i Had no idea if was audible.

i dont care. make it end soon. i want to leave.

"We just want to apologize for all the things we did to you and your...Mom. We won't talk much because we know you won't forgive us. It was just our last wish to see the kid we abused so much. We are really really sorry Kid.

We see what we did to you. How we ruined your life mentally. We are so guilty of what we did to the cheerful kid." The man cried out holding his hands out in forgiveness.

"I-i c-can't forget wh..what you guys di-did with me and mmaa,"  my voice cracked thinking of Maa, I felt my heart crumble. "y-you killled her..along with the bad uncle..." I said with tears burning my eyes as one traitor tear slipped down my left cheek.

The chair's arm being crushed by my fingers.

They hung their head low. "We are sorry..." Is all they said and got up and went away. I sat their watching their figures retreating away.

I glanced around at the room and quickly ran out to see Naina holding her head in her hands sitting on a bench. "Are you okay Ridh?" She asked in desperation. "Can we go to our car?" I said in one breathe breathing heavily thinking of what I heard.

They wanted to see me after what they did? The scars and marks they left on me..even after seeing how much wounded they left me. They asked for forgiveness.

I would have forgiven them for what they did to me, physically. But for Maa? They destroyed her and me, indirectly.

But i'm afraid..what if I don't forgive them and it's a forever guilt in me..

"Ridh we're here," I heard the dulcet voice and I looked up at the owner of the voice. The worry and....love in her eyes made the corner of my lips twitch a little. At least, I'm not alone.We sat in and she decided to drive the car while I sat there staring outside the window realising I have zoned out but too lazy to come back to reality.

I could see the wreckage of the sand blowing before our car in the roads..how much my mind is scattered. I'm glad Naina isn't questioning me right now because I myself don't know what to speak..how to start what to do.

I took in a deep breath and tried to sleep resting my head on the window.

"Ridh wake up." The soft voice took me out of my slumber to realise we are home. I quickly got up and went to my room without giving a second glance to Naina.

I just want to be alone and...drown for sometime..

~•~•~

Naina's POV

I'm scared. What is he thinking..how is he? What do I do?

It's been two hours he has been in his room. I signed and thought of giving a visit to him. Leaving him alone was a bad idea.

I got up from my bed and headed towards his room. The door was open and I opened it more to meet Ridh sitting on the bed hugging his knees while shaking,

Oh god no. A soft gaso escaped my lips and he looked up at me with his red puffy eyes so I rushed to him. "Ridh.." my voice trailed off as I sat beside him on the bed and hugged him.

He wrapped his hands on my waist and I wrapped my hand around his neck as he rested his head in my inner elbow and sniffled. "What happened Ridh?"

"What do I do..." He cried out and I could hear his emotions. The anger, sadness, guilt, confusion.

"Shh calm down...look at me," I said and pulled away cupping his cheeks and making his puffed glassy eyes to look at me. "What did they say.." I asked softly. "Th-they asked me to fo..forgive them..how? I mean Mom cried so much..she was in pain and they la-laughed?" He said between hiccups and sobs. "I-i am afraid wh-what if they die and I'm left with guilt..i-i didnt forgive them.." he said and pursed his lips.

I smiled gently and raised his face and caressed his cheeks pouring all of my love into the simplest of gesture, "So you want to forgive them just because of the fear of guilt killing you after they are gone?" I asked softly and he hesitantly looked down and nodded. "Then request the Jail Management to let us talk to them for the last time and say you won't forgive them but..you appreciate the fact that they apologized."

"Is it that simple?It's so..so messed up."

"It isn't. You are overthinking Ridh. It's easy." I said.

"Don't limit your decisions out of fears," I said and kissed his temple and he visibly relaxed and clung to me.

After some time I felt like he was sleepy, he drove a lot and all the sadness.

"Achha chal (Okay C'mon) sleep." I said and he smiled getting up & laid down on the bed.

"Don't go." He said and I smiled, "Wasn't even thinking of that." I said and laid under the comforter with him and he snuggled closer to me and I to him.

And that's how calming eachother, we both went into deep slumber.