Knee Pads

10 | impact

CHAPTER TEN | IMPACT

a foul has an impact on safety or game play when a measurable physical force or effect can be observed.

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          "I mean, I'm not surprised that she took it, since Marley has always wanted to be captain and Coach Fontaine's nepotism would never let that happen, but she knows what the team means to Corinne," Katrina said, later that day, as we hung out in our dorm room. She'd been too busy working on her Music in the Great Depression paper to pay any attention to me, up until the moment I told her I had some gossip about Marley's meeting with Coach. Was it the best idea to treat what had happened as mere gossip? Probably not. "Corinne has always been the team captain. She'll do whatever it takes to win, even if she has to be demoted to co-captain, but I don't imagine she took this too well."

          I sighed, throwing my stress ball against the wall. I supposed I could have gotten a squishy one, but sometimes a girl needed to throw a thing or two against a wall.

          Never at a person. Never a bottle.

          "Is it necessarily a demotion, though?" I questioned. "She's keeping her position. She'll just be sharing it with someone else."

          "Well, it is a demotion for Corinne." Kat spun around on her chair, legs crossed. "It's complicated. It's not really up to me to explain it and reveal every private detail of Corinne's life, but . . ." Luckily for her, I already knew what I considered to be a big part of it; what I knew was somewhat enough to give me some insight on how Corinne was feeling. "It's not just a team. It's not just about being a captain. It's what she has been training for her whole life and she's been leading the team since freshman year, you know? No one ever considered the possibility of there ever being a co-captain while she's still here because . . . because it just doesn't make sense. It's Corinne's spot."

          "Coach is . . . intense."

          Kat laughed. "That's one way to put it. Coach takes roller derby as seriously as a religion." She reached out for a buttery popcorn from the neon pink bowl next to her. My stomach grumbled, echoing in the room, and she kindly slid it towards me. It melted in my mouth, warm and oozy. "It's kind of why Corinne is the way that she is, but I can't judge her for feeling hurt. That's her mom, y'know? Her mom, who knows how much she loves roller derby and the team, is indirectly telling her she doesn't think she's got what it takes anymore." She popped another popcorn in her mouth. "You don't expect that kind of betrayal from your own mom."

          I kind of understood where Corinne was coming from. I hated relating to her with a burning passion, I did, but I also found myself strangely rooting for her.

          If I was the one being demoted to co-captain instead, I would be pissed, obviously, but never to this extent—never to the extent of having people worry about me and the state of my mental health. Corinne's desire and need to succeed felt almost pathological, something so intensely connected to her identity and sense of self that I couldn't help but admit she was being wronged. Her mother knew the effect it would have on her, which is why it felt like punishment, even more than simply kicking her out of the team.

          It was a true middle finger.

          You get to stay on the team, but I'm watching your every move, and you're not getting any of the freedom you used to have. Look at how I treat someone else the way I should be treating you—I'm even giving them your spot on the team!