Knee Pads

20 | suspension

CHAPTER TWENTY | SUSPENSION

to remove a skater for more than one game.

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          The track was so quiet you could hear a hairpin drop.

          I feared that if I thought or breathed too loudly everyone would turn to me instead and remember I'd been the one to cause this mess in the first place, but maybe even that would be better than having Corinne be kicked out of the team.

          The words were right there on the tip of my tongue, threatening to come out, and it was unfair not to tell the truth, that all of it was my fault, but I couldn't speak. Whenever I opened my mouth, I felt suffocated, with a fist around my neck, and all I could do was pathetically gasp for air as though I was drowning on dry land.

          Corinne didn't look my way once. It shouldn't have mattered, not when there were more important things than my pride and my feelings at stake, but, somehow, it did. And it hurt.

          "You can't do that," Kat protested, while Corinne had been rendered speechless. She wasn't blank faced, not like yesterday, which should be a pleasant change, but that didn't mean I wanted to watch her cry and beg to keep a spot that was hers by right. It was one thing to joke around her being the co-captain now that she had grown used to the idea, but completely losing her didn't feel funny at all. "You can't. She's our captain."

          "Co-captain," Coach Fontaine corrected, like so many of us would have done not that long ago. "I've told you countless times no one is irreplaceable. If you're going to compromise this team's values or the possibility of it continuing to exist, you're out. Zero-tolerance policy."

          "Suspend her, then," Marley suggested, hands balled into fists. "You can't just kick her from the team over this, especially when she has no history of getting in trouble. She has been our captain since freshman year and has carried us to victory ever since; you can't let a disagreement with our biggest rivals completely nullify all of that. You can't pretend Corinne hasn't done everything she could to make us succeed. Even if you think this was too serious for her to get away with just a warning or a slap on the wrist, don't kick her from the team. We need her."

          "No, you need each other."

          "Exactly, we need each other, which is why you can't do this to her. You can't do this to us."

          "You'll become full captain. Is that not what you wanted?"

          "Not like this, no! You're just being selfish!"

          "This is my team, Marley, and I won't allow you to speak to me that way—"

          "No, this is our team and our dream," Kat chimed in, voice echoing in the track. "You don't get to take it away from us. You don't get to do this to Corinne. That's your own daughter and you're ruining the rest of her senior year for nothing besides pettiness—"

          Chaos ensued. 

          Everyone spoke up on Corinne's behalf, to the point where the words got mixed with each other and no one could tell what was being said anymore, but I never found the courage to say anything. I was scared that, if I were to open my mouth, I'd say something stupid that would worsen the situation, if that was even possible, and it almost looked like the team was managing to change Coach Fontaine's mind. Hadn't I ruined things for Corinne already?

          Then, she looked at me. Though she was still silently weeping, I found the smallest sliver of hope in her eyes, like she believed there would be an unexpected change of scenario if I said something and showed Coach the team stood together. That should have been enough for me to gain courage and stand up for her, like she'd done for me and gotten herself in serious trouble over, but I couldn't.