When you're ready

8. Jealousy

The parking lot is getting crowded by the time Shawn arrives at school, groups of students talking everywhere as he steps out of his car. He’s usually not late, but his grandfather had quite a rough morning and it took a while before he could leave. It was getting tough each day and Shawn was trying to prepare himself for when he would have to say goodbye.

 He didn’t even find Brian outside talking to any cheerleader, which was odd for his best friend, but as soon as he entered the building he realized the reason why. Brian was walking right along with Camila down the hallway and Shawn didn’t mean to follow them, but they were heading the same direction since his locker was close to hers. Shawn just focused on the books he had to get for his first class, not thinking about how his best friend was probably flirting with the first girl that he might be slightly attracted to in a long time. He didn’t think Brian would get anything from Camila. She was clearly not interested, but Shawn still felt this weird thing just thinking of Brian hitting on her.

 His eyes eventually moved to the two of them in front of Camila’s locker, clearly unaware of his presence there. Camila seemed annoyed as she always did whenever Brian tried to flirt with her, but his best friend was obviously trying to convince her of something. Not wanting to look at the scene in front of him anymore, Shawn took his books and made his way to his first class of the day. He didn’t think he would feel bothered about this whole thing and he was confused at what he was feeling. Was this what jealously felt like? He wasn’t even sure if they could be considered friends, so why was he having such feelings?

 Those thoughts haunted his mind throughout his first two classes, so he made the conscious decision of skipping the third one. He knew Camila would be in the one after that and he kind of needed a break before he saw her again. As if he hadn't had enough things on his mind, now he found himself hiding under the bleachers while trying to process why this girl suddenly seemed to have such power over him without even being able to properly talk to him.

 “ I thought you were trying to be a better student this year.” Shawn heard Brian’s voice as he stood in front of him with a cigarette in his hand. “ What happened to not skipping classes anymore?”

 “ Like you care about that.” Shawn laughed as his best friend sat down next to him, discarding the cigarette before he even had the chance to complain about it.

 They just stayed there in silence for a few minutes, watching as a few students had to run laps around the field. Shawn was trying really hard not to ask what he wanted to, but in the end, he just couldn’t hold it in.

 “ I saw you talking to Camila earlier.” He finally let it out.

 “ I knew it.” Brian laughed.

 “ You knew what?” Shawn asked, confused.

 “ You were dying to say something.” Brian kept laughing. “ You think I didn’t notice you watching me talk to her?”

 “ So?” Shawn asked.

 “ So you like her and you’re obviously jealous.”

 “ What?” He looked at his friend in surprise. “ Where did you even get that from?”

 “ You’re mad that I was hitting on her.” Brian says. “ Just admit that you like her already.”

 “ If you think I like her then why the hell are you hitting on her in the first place?” Shawn asked, this time actually feeling a little mad.

 “ So I’m right. You do like her.” Brian smirks teasingly at him.

 “ I don’t know, okay?” Shawn sighed. “ Maybe.”

 Brian did a little victory dance, making Shawn roll his eyes. It was like he had done it all on purpose to get a confession from Shawn.

 “ I wasn’t hitting on her.” Brian tells him. “ I was asking her about you actually.”

 “ You were what?” Shawn looks at him in shock. “ I don’t need you to do that.”

 “ Come on, you two keep doing this staring thing, but when are you actually getting some action? I’m trying to help.”

 “ I don’t even know if I want to do anything about this, okay?” Shawn said. “ Just stay away.”

 “ Are you sure though?” Brian said, smiling at him. “ Because she obviously likes you.”

 Shawn can’t help looking at him at these words, not really knowing what to make out of this.

 “ Oh, so now you’re rethinking it?” Brian raised his eyebrows.

 “ Shut up, Brian.” Shawn gives his shoulder a slight push, making his friend burst out laughing.

 Shawn takes his backpack from the ground and stands up, walking away from the bleachers as a few students running around the field pass by him, but not reaching the building before hearing Brian talking again.

 “ Don’t worry. I might have seen her first, but she’s all yours.” Brian yells, getting the attention of the students running nearby as Shawn sends him a middle finger without turning around, which only makes his friend laugh harder. “ I love you too!”

 Whatever it was Shawn was feeling had now gone from conflict over Brian flirting with Camila to wondering if he actually liked her or if it was even possible that she liked him. Instead of getting clarity, he actually got a bunch more questions on his mind and he had Brian to thank for all that. As crazy as it seemed, he was almost terrified of walking into his next class and seeing her, but what he didn’t expect was to completely forget about any of those questions as soon as he laid his eyes on her.

 She walked into class just a couple of minutes after him and he could feel the air in the room changing because of her presence. It was like she made his racing thoughts vanish as soon as she walked in, calming his mind as the only thing he could do was smile at her when she looked at him. He had never experienced anything like that. Was she even aware of how much she was affecting him?