When you're ready

32. Invisible string

Camila rested her back against the cool surface of her locker, holding her phone tightly to her chest with both of her hands as she took in what her mother just told her over the phone. Breathing in and out as the hallway starts getting crowded with students leaving after their last class, Camila finally lets a small smile form on her lips after a few minutes.

 “ Ready?” Shawn’s voice made her look up, finding him in front of her with his backpack hanging from his shoulders.

 “ Yeah.” Camila said, looking down at her phone again.

 “ Any news?” He asked as they walked down the hallway, hands clasped together while avoiding the groups of students standing around.

 “ The judge makes a decision tomorrow, but it’s not looking good for him. They’re saying four to five years.” Camila revealed, feeling hopeful.

It had been a couple of months since her attacker had been identified and it had only been possible because he had done something very similar to another girl recently, but hadn’t been able to run away this time. The two attacks coupled with the fact that he had drugs on him were enough to take him to court. She wasn’t happy that in order for him to get punished he had gone after another girl, but there was really nothing she could do to change that. Unfortunately, there still wasn't a reason for what he did other than maybe he was high on something, but she would have to accept that if she wanted closure.

 She watched as Shawn nodded and sighed like he didn’t think anytime in jail would be enough to pay for what he did to her. Camila stopped in her tracks once they were out of the building, pulling Shawn in for a hug and burying her face on his chest.

 “ I know you still feel like this is not enough, but it is for me.” She told him, feeling his arms tightening around her. “ I realized after identifying him that day that all I need is closure, and getting justice, no matter how many years he gets, is what will get me there. And having you here with me. That’s the most important thing.”

 “Okay.” Shawn whispered, placing a kiss on the side of her head before hearing Brian’s voice as he walked to them.

 “Who knew you two were into this much PDA?” Brian asked in a mocking tone, making Camila roll her eyes at him.

 “ You were literally sucking faces with a cheerleader a minute ago in the hallway.” Camila said, not letting go of Shawn while she eyes his best friend.

 “ I keep forgetting you can talk back now.” Brian laughed, looking at Shawn. “ Dude, tell your girlfriend to go easy on me.”

 “ Not happening.” Shawn said, pulling Camila with him in the direction of the parking lot.

 The drive to his house, which had become a habit once they left school, was filled with music playing on the radio. Camila had become more comfortable singing along to it and Shawn smiled at her the whole time, enjoying being able to hear her voice all the time now.

They worked on their painting for class for a few hours in his garage and Camila hoped the teacher didn’t notice how much Shawn had actually helped her. He just couldn’t stay away. Anytime he noticed her struggling, he would instantly offer his help, and of course, she would always accept it.

 “ I was thinking of visiting my family.” Shawn blurted out when they were washing the brushes they had used. “ Would you come with me?”

 Camila smiled and nodded her head. She knew he had been at the cemetery a few times since they met, but he never wanted company when he went visiting his family’s graves. This sounded a lot like progress, like he was letting her in.

 “ Of course.” She agreed, placing a quick kiss on his shoulder.

 Shawn drove in silence the whole time as Camila held his hand, never letting go of it once they got off the car. She had four yellow lilies on her other hand, which they had taken from the garden at his house. Walking through so many graves of people she didn’t know was certainly unsettling, but Shawn seemed to know his way around.

 His family was not together, so they first stopped at his dad’s grave and while Shawn took a few minutes quietly talking to him, Camila placed one of the flowers on the ground. The same thing happened when they reached his grandfather's, but once they moved on to the next one, Camila noticed his mother and sister had been buried side by side. It was oddly comforting to know they somehow still had one another.

 This time Shawn took a seat on the grass, helping Camila do the same before they placed the two lilies one in front of each headstone. Shawn didn’t say anything out loud like he had done before, just resting his head on Camila’s shoulder while she held his hand.

 “ I wish they could have met you.” He finally spoke after long minutes of silence.

 “ Do you think they would like me?” Camila asked, making Shawn lift his head from where it rested on her shoulder and hold her face with his hands.

 “ They would have adored you.” He smiled at her tenderly. “ Just as much as I do.”

 “ I’m sorry there’s nothing more I can do about this. I wish I could take away all this pain from you.” She rests her hands on his, letting her thumbs run up and down his skin.

 “ You already do so much, Camila.” He finally let out a big happy smile only for her. “ Just by being here. Just by existing.”

 “ It goes both ways.” She told him. “ I feel exactly the same by having you in my life.”

 “ Are we always this dramatic?” Shawn laughed, getting a smile out of her.

 “ I hope not.” She finally laughed with him, knowing they still meant every single word.

 There was a lot that she knew didn’t need to be said out loud, words that hang around every little action and feeling shared by the two of them. She wasn’t sure what would come their way in the future, although they were already talking about following each other to college once they graduated, however, she knew no matter what happened they would always have each other. It might be naive on her part to think like this, but she knew the connection they shared could overcome any obstacle that would eventually get in their way. They had saved each other in a way, and that was a bond hard to be broken. It was like they were linked by an invisible string, something that would always pull them together and let them find their way back to each other.

THE END