The Not So Dead, Dead Poet.

Todds nightmare

*hi!
In this chapter Todd has a nightmare, and it has sight description to gore and his suicide so please be careful when you see the italics!
Hope you liek it!*
Charlie and Todd both stopped at Knox's suggestion. Todd's face dropped. He looked almost terrified by the idea.
But that wouldn't make sense.
Todd would frequently visit Neis grave, he couldn't stand not to. Todd was visit at least once a month, he would bring a book, flowers. Sometimes even a notebook full of poetry and something special with him. He would sit at a Neils grave, knees up to his chest. He would sometimes read his book to Neil, read out his own poetry.
He would talk with Neil, tell him how everyone was going, what they were doing. How much he missed him.

And he would sometime satay for hours on end, until either Charlie or Knox came to pick him up.

But at the moment he wasn't ready to go to Neils grave again, his most recent nightmare still played over and over in his head. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to visit Neils grave now. Not anytime soon.

"Knox.. I mean I'll come, definitely. But that.. I mean, it's kind of surprising for you to suggest this... why?" Charlie asked him, noticing the way Todd looked scared. He hated it.

Lox wanted to explain that he had seen Neil.
But he didn't want to sound crazy.
"I just feel like we should.. I don't know.. I haven't visited in a while" Knox said with a shrug. "You don't have to come Todd." He adds on huckleberry, watching how the other boys face scrunched up slightly as if disgusted. He wasn't sure what but he knew it had something to do with his proposition.

"I don't think I can.. I'm sorry... I would love to. But I just can't." Todd said quickly shaking himself out of his daze. He didn't want to think about his latest nightmare. Not now. Not ever.

Knox nods, he knew Todd had trouble with this, and he wouldn't pressure him to come, and neither would Charlie "that's okay. Now why don't we eat?" He said pointing to the pizza, the small group agreed, Todd took his book and a slice of pizza to the couch reading as he ate, Knox and Charlie sitting on the other couch talking, well arguing, Todd would make a point whenever he found it necessary. And that's how the poets spent their night.

Todd was dreading the moment he had to go to bed. He knew tonight wouldn't be a good one, he could just feel the nightmares being made up in his head. Well not literally, but he knew taht somewhere in the back of his mind, a terrifying nightmare was being made.

So when Charlie and Knox decided it was time for bed, Todd sighed.
He let the two walk off into their shared room (the three had only left high school a year ago, they don't have enough money for more that two rooms.) while he stayed in his seat for a while, taking deep, regulated and controlled breaths, before he took his book with him back to bed.
He got changed into his pyjamas, sitting down and starting to read again, he didn't want to sleep yet, so he wouldn't. He would stay up reading for hours, finish the book then get on with his day. It would work out. At least that's what he told himself.

That didn't work out. Of course it didn't. Todd ended up falling asleep, book held tightly in his hand. At first he was sleeping fine, sleeping peacefully.

But that really didn't last long.

Todd was running. He was ruining through a plain white hallway, the only form of colour was far down the hallway, he didn't know here or how far but all he knew, all he knew for sure was he was running. Towards or away from something, he wasn't quite sure.

Todd could hear distant voices, shouting, and he was running towards it. He couldn't tell who it was. But he knew this wasn't good.

Todd finally reached the coloured room. He ended tripping over, straight onto face  his face.
And that's when he found out whom he was running to, Neil stood in the middle of a room, it looked like it could be Neils room. Everything about it just screamed Neil.

That's when he saw the gun. Steam still coming out from the barrel. Todd quickly stood up. He knew what was happening. As he ran further towards the scene he saw Mr and Mrs Perry screaming. Holding onto Neil... Neils lifeless body.

Suddenly something pulled on Todd's arm as he turned around he saw Neil standing there, looking horrible, blood slowly dripping from his temple. "You could have saved me. Stopped me from joining the play!" Neil started to yell, staring right  at Todd, like everything bad to ever happen was his fault.

Todd was frozen. This wasn't Neil. This wasn't the Neil he knew. He just stared at Neil, into the yelling died down.
"And to think. You thought there was even a chance for me to like you back" Neil sneered, his face breaking out into a taunting smirk as he then pushed Todd backwards, Todd was falling, falling fast.

Todd screamed out. Knox and Charlie came running to find Todd in bed, crying, and frantic, looking around his Roman, with his hand on his heart, trying to control his breathing.

"Todd.. hey buddy. It's okay, it was a dream it's okay" Knox said slowly approaching the bed, Todd looked at him with broken, glazed over eyes,

"He said it was my fault... m-my fault.." Todd said, voice breaking and shaking. Knox shook his head, taking a spot next to the shorter boy. Watching as Charlie went to gather the blankets.

"It's not your fault. Not your fault. Now let's go out into the lounge room, okay?" Knox asked helping Todd out of bed and towards the couch where Charlie was waiting, with blankets, a radio playing softly, just a background music. Knox sat Todd down on the couch where he wrapped the blankets around himself. Charlie slung his arm across the back of the couch, basically a round Todd, letting him move closer if he wanted to. Knox quickly went to the kitchen to make the hot chocolate for them.

When he walked back in Todd was curled up in the couch, a bit closer to Charlie then before. He placed the three mugs on the coffee table.

Knox sat besides Todd, turning to face him. Todd was just starting down at his hands.

"I'm sorry..." he said quietly, not looking at  either of his friends.

"Don't you dare say sorry Todd. Your allowed to have bad nights, and we want to help" Charlie said to him.

"What Char said, and if you need to talk about it.. we're here" Knox said picking up Todd's hot chocolate and passing it to him, Todd looked up slightly and smiled softly, in thanks.

"thank you..." he said quietly, wrapping his hands around the drink for the warmth. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Will you be okay here alone tomorrow? We can go visit Neil another day." Knox then said

"No.. I'll be okay, I think you guys should go, you haven't been in a while." Todd said "you guys don't have much time to go, plus I have work in the afternoon, so I won't be here to long" Todd said. Knox and Charlie both nod, agreeing to go tomorrow if Todd seemed better that morning.

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Neil felt tired and worn out, he was scribbling down his letters for him friends.
He needed to go to the grave tomorrow.
Having seen knox made it even more important. He hoped that they would find the notes soon, maybe even find him....

But that most likely wouldn't happen. But he could hope.