The Not So Dead, Dead Poet.

How Should We React To This

Todd walked into his room, slamming his door shut.

He leaned back against the wood, slowly sliding down, with his knees pressed up tightly against his chest. He took deep and measured breaths as he hit his hands against his calves , he needed a way to let out his anger and overall emotions, everything he was feeling was too much.

Neil was alive, in their living room, after being 'dead'.

How was Todd supposed to react?! Was he supposed to smile and hold his arms open for him? No. he couldn't do that.

Not right now, not yet. First, he needed to understand and calm down. He sat there for quite a while, hands pressed firmly against his legs, the pressure grounding him, until he eventually calmed down.

But Todd didn't move, and as he was pressing his legs up close to his chest, hands on his calves, he still had the forest green jumper on.

That was how he fell asleep. The next morning he woke up with a pain in his neck, head tilted forward at an awkward angle. He got himself up, but he didn't bother getting changed, he didn't want to. He wasn't planning on going anywhere, and sure, he had work later, but he had already missed yesterday's shift. So he didn't have any reason to freak out, he would probably be getting fired anyway. Nothing he could really do about it.

Todd juggled his options in his head, he could go out of his room, get a stash of food and stay hidden in his room until later. Then he won't bump into Neil after that, he would be able to process everything better that way... or he could go out and try and talk with the others. To him, the first option seems the best, so that's what he did. He walked out of his room, and headed straight down to the kitchen, where Charlie, Knox, and Neil were.

Knox was leaning over the counter while the other two who were sitting on the bar stools, eating whatever they had made for breakfast.

Todd was quiet as he made his way straight to the cupboard to get some bread and other things that would last in his room.

"Todd?" Charlie said as he looked up, but Todd shook his head before gathering all the food in his arms and leaving the room. He walked straight back to his room, never noticing the look of hurt and defeat on Neil's face. 

————————————————————————

Neil was sat with Charlie and Knox talking and catching up. Well, he wasn't telling them much about himself, but he was listening to stories about Welton after he left.

Yesterday hadn't gone too well, with Todd at least, and Neil was still upset with himself, he had obviously hurt Todd badly, Todd hadn't really ever gotten to mad at him, but he seemed almost fuming this time.

Charlie and Knox seemed to take it better, they had set up the couch as a bed for him, made food, talked with him until he fell asleep, they seemed to notice his unease.

He had watched as Charlie and Knox interacted and worried about Todd, he was glad they had all looked after each other, especially Todd.

Charlie had called in for Todd at his work explaining something personal and slightly traumatic had happened and he wouldn't be able to make it to work. The way he had phrased it made it seem almost bad that Neil was here, but he knew Charlie didn't mean it like that.

Charlie and Knox both have him some clothes to last him until they could go buy him some of his own, so for now Neil was in a too big t-shirt, owned by Knox, and a pair of shorts that could have been to small for him seeing as Charlie was surprisingly short, but Charlie was a lot more muscular than him at the moment, Neil knew he was definitely underweight and malnourished.

When Todd walked out of his room Neil hoped that they had a chance to talk, but he noticed the way that Todd reacted to even Charlie talking to him and his face completely dropped... did Todd not want to be friends?.

————————————————————————

Todd stayed coped up in his room for three days, only leaving to grab food or water.

He had the green jumper slung over his chair, and he would stare at it for quite a while, just contemplating everything that had been going on.

That was Neil's jumper. That was Neil's, and Neil was alive!

But the thing is.. they had no actual proof it was Neil. Sure, he looked the same, and sat at Neil's grave and claimed to be Neil, but Todd had no solid proof that this was Neil.

 On that note Todd stood up and grabbed the jumper, pushing the door open, and walking straight towards the living room, where he found Neil and Charlie chatting amiably.

That made Todd stop.. Charlie was already accepting that Neil's death was a lie.. how? How was he doing that? Why was he doing that? Wasn't he questioning everything? He should be! Todd definitely was!

"Neil." Todd finally said, his voice shaking slightly, but he talked quickly and in the best firm voice he could use at that moment. He needs to get their attention right now, right now.

The two boys quickly looked up at Todd, surprised he had even gone out of his room, and now he was talking to Neil. It was a bit of a shock.

"Todd?.." Neil replied, his voice soft and quiet. His eyes fell to the jumper in Todd's arms and his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, he knew that was his jumper, how did Todd have it?

"You recognise this?!" Todd asked him, he needed to make sure this was the real Neil. If he knew the jumper then Todd was sure it would be.

Neil nods slowly.

"Yeah.. yeah I do... that's mine. You took it?.." Neil asked him, he couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face at that thought.

Todd's face broke out in a grin, as tears now filled his eyes, this was Neil. This was the boy he had fallen for in high school. This was his best friend. He threw himself at Neil, grabbing hold of him tightly.

"Your dad took it.. I-I found it in a second hand shop... I'm not sure if it's yours or not.. but I couldn't leave it...." Todd said quietly as Neil held him tightly. Todd buried his head into the crook of Neil's neck not wanting to let go.

————————————————————————

Neil didn't plan on letting go soon either. He moved a hand up to hold the back of Todd's head, the other arm wrapped tightly around Todd's middle, holdning the other boy against him.

"That's okay... I'm glad it reminded you of me..." Neil whispered to Todd. He had no idea how else to respond, had his dad taken everything? Had he put them into second hand shops? Was that really his jumper? It might be, he would have to check later, for now, he was just gonna soak up his time with Todd.