The Not So Dead, Dead Poet.

Your Supposed To Be Dead.

**pls note, I do briefly explain a panic attack here, so be careful if taht triggers you in any way.*

"I made-" only to cut himself off when he recognises the boy in Knox's arms, he dropped the plate, it smashed when it hit the ground, a few pieces jarring itself in his hands...
"Neil?...." He whispered sounding panicked, his breathing picking up.

Todd stared straight at Charlie and Knox. He knew exactly who the boy in Knox's arms was. It was Neil, without a doubt, he would recognise Neil any day, despite the change that had occurred over time. He knew that face, despite the small shadow of a beard was growing, the sunken in cheek bones, his arms were more like sticks, it was clear that he had lost a lot of weight.
Todd was panicking. This couldn't be real. This was a nightmare. This must be a nightmare. This is a nightmare. There was no way it couldn't be a nightmare. Neil was dead and he had left them alone, he left them with an overbearing weight that hovers over you when you lose your friend from suicide. He absolutely destroyed Todd, Charlie, Knox, Meeks and Pitts... even Cameron.

Todd could feel pain in his hands from the glass. But he was frozen, frozen in fear? In shock? In panic? He wasn't sure.

But he knew he stuck.
His breathing was too fast, and uneven, his heart was beating at an alarming rate. He was having a panic attack.

His hands started to shake slightly, despite the blood dripping off of them and into the floor, from the glass in his hands. He pushed them into fists, usually he would start digging his nails into his palms, the pain helping to ground him. But now he had the glass, and he was just pushing it further into his palms. He made a small reaction in the form of a hiss in pain.
But that was really his only reaction.

He was already hyperventilating, legs shaking, he felt unstable, he wanted to sit down and curl up in on himself, his mind was racing his anxious thoughts...
Neils as supposed to be dead.. but here he was unconscious.
How was Neil here.
What would Neil do...

He was starting right at Neil, whom Knox had gently placed down on the couch. He felt like he couldn't look away, this couldn't be happening. He felt the tears start to fall down his cheeks as he stared, but he felt like he was watching from somewhere else, he couldn't control his breathing he felt like he would die. He couldn't breath.

Todd started to floor go the ground, but Charlie ran over and wrapped his arms around him.

"Todd..." he said quietly and basically picked the boy up, directing him over to the couch- the one without Neil of course- "take a deep breath." Charlie ordered watching as Todd shook his head,

"I-I- can't... I-I can't bre-b-breath.." Todd stuttered out, his throat was tightly closed and he fully believed he couldn't breathe, because that's what it felt like, his fists tightening causing a look of pain to appear on his face.

Charlie looked to Knox who had already gotten the first-aid kit out in case it was needed for Neil. Knox looked back and pushed the kit across the coffee table, which Charlie stopped them opened it to get out what he needed. As he did he made sure to talk with Todd.

"Toddsie, can you please hold your hands out for me?" Charlie asked as he grabbed the tweezers, Antiseptic wipes, gauze and tape. Looking over at the other boy, who hadn't moved. "Todd?"

Todd didn't really react at all until he slowly held out his hands, Charlie smiled at him then tried to pry his hands open. He eventually was able to, he grabbed the tweezers and started to pull out the glass.

Todd was still struggling but he did his best to focus on Charlie's face, and watched his chest rise and fall softly with each breath. He felt ill with anxiety, but he needed to get out of the panic attack, he knew that. But he couldn't do it in his own. He hissed in pain when Charlie pulled out the glass .