The Owl House- Luz Noceda X Male Reader

I Was A Teenage Abomination

Eda: Well, You two! Did you ever in your life think you'd see something as breathtaking as this?

[She gestures to the corpse of a trash slug that towers over them. It's surrounded by trash and muck. Flies audibly buzz around the corpse.]

Luz: [shaking her head] I don't like this. [plugs her nose]

Y/N: Depends on what "This" is

Eda: [walks to the trash slug] Yes, it doesn't get much more inspiring than the trash slug. It makes a home, a life from what others have thrown by the wayside. [pulls a rubber chicken from the trash slug's mouth] Until, blam, it gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt. And then we get to sell the stuff it ate. [pulls out a pickaxe]

Luz: Please don't make me.

King: [walking away] Aw, come on, You two. [unfurls a towel] It's not every day you get to go to the dump and pick apart a garbage carcass.

Y/n: Well Guess what, that is disgusting and I am not doing it

Eda: Ah, nuts to you three.

[Eda swings the pick at the trash slug.]

Luz: So, Eda...

[Glass shatters]

Luz: What if we tried some new lessons for our apprenticeship? Like...

[Something crashes]

Luz: Read ancient scrolls or mix together potions, or‐

Eda: [while tossing things from the trash slug's mouth] Ugh. That sounds like a bunch of magic school stuff.

Y/N: Wait. What?! Is there a magic school here? Like, winding towers, stylish uniforms, dark plots that threaten your life kind of magic school?

Eda: Mm‐hmm. What's worse, they force you to learn magic the "proper" way. But magic isn't proper. It's wild and unpredictable. And that's why it's so beautiful. I didn't finish school, and look at me! Who wouldn't envy where I am right now?

[Flies are flying around the pile of trash Eda is currently standing in. Luz's expression falls.]

Eda: Uh... Hey, here's a lesson. [drops her pick] A great witch is resourceful, [sticks Luz's hand in a puddle of trash slug bile] like this.

[Eda drags Luz's hand back and forth before letting go. Luz continues digging until she pulls something out.]

Luz: Oh, hey. Greasy slime ball.

Eda: [closes Luz's hands around the slime ball] Use your slime ball wisely, young witch. [stands and heads back for the trash slug] Back at it! We'll hit the stink nodes first.

Luz: Actually, if it's okay, [starts backing away] I think I'll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still alive. Love you, King. [pets his belly]

King: [giggles]

Luz: You little beach peach. [continues walking into the woods]

Y/N: Aww whose a lil Peach

King: [sighs] Me.

Y/N: that's right you are

[you pat King on the head]

Eda: [shrugs] More for me, then.

[She climbs into the trash slug, sending several things clattering.]

Eda: There we go. Okay.

[She tosses out a cheese grater, an electric fan, and a tuba, the last of which lands on King's head.]