I forgive because I...

Alexandra

Not sure if this needs a TW but just to be safe - TW: homophobic comment

Clarke's POV:

When Lexa comes up behind me and whispers 'training starts tomorrow' her cold but gentle breath makes me feel a shiver make it's way down my spine.Now i'm suddenly exited for tomorrow, not knowing why though. I'm still questioning if I forgive her enough to get back with her.

I have feelings for her and I know that but after what she did... I'm really not sure.

I get why she did it but come on if she could betray me why couldn't she betray their deal too? Get her people out but still fight with me anyway, or at least have being by my side when I pulled the lever, but no. Instead she betrayed me, our deal and our relationship. Thinking about it she was a selfish prick but I do admit I understand and that's the problem. I'm so drawn to her, and I can't help it and it's killing me. I try to hate her for what she did but all I can do is understand and appreciate her.

"Oh shit." I exclaim out loud as i realise I'm already  too gone.

Not like I'm going to do anything about it. I'm still 'forgiving her' which I think I'm nearly if not already done doing. But I can't show that, I want her to earn my forgiveness, to prove she deserves it.

I walk over to the training field and approach Lexa, she hands me my sword with no visual emotions expressed on her face.

We started training. Lexa was stiff at first thinking I still hate her for everything she did. So I decided to loosen up the mood by smiling and relaxing into the zone. After Lexa saw me loosen up she did so herself.

Everything was going really well when she was teaching me the basics,then we was sparring and she decided to teach me a trick where you place the sword in between your middle and ring finger then push down with your palm causing it to spin.

Since i'm left haded it was harder for me to hold and so lexa asks

"May I?" Gesturing towards the sword in my hand.

I nod softly, then she comes over standing behind me being wary of the space to keep between us as she places it between my fingers for me. As i'm lost in the thoughts of Lexa behind me breathing on my neck she pushes down making the blade swing up and slash my arm.

"NIKO" Lexa yelled over her best healer and he came rushing over to help

"Oh my god, I am so sorry Clarke" she says sitting me on the ground in case i feel dizzy from the blood loss

"It's ok Lex, I wasn't concentrating . It's not your fault" I try assuring her

Lexa's POV:

Everything was going great until i accidentally slashed her arm open.

I feel awful. I feel so terrible.

Not only am I the reason she hates herself and betrayed her making her kill two hundred plus innocent people, I also am the reason we no longer have what we could've, the reason she's away from her mother and best friends because I had to kidnap her, now the reason she has a big cut in her arm and is bleeding out.

'So fucking stupid Lexa' I thought to myself  as I appologised and sat her down . She tried assuring me it wasn't my fault and she wasn't paying attention but it was my fault and both of us know it.

I'm a danger to Clakre i tell myself so i decide to remove myself from the situation all together.

I stand up and walk away

....

3rd Person

Later that evening Lexa decided to take a stroll into Azgeda in attempt to try and change the challenge

She enters Nia's chambers and is the first to speak

"How would you like to change the fight"

"Well that depends, in what way?"

"You'd be fighting me, not Clarke"

"Very well, at least i'd be getting rid of another sinful bastard on these lands. But just so you know Lexa, if you die, Clarke dies too?"

"I know"

"You got a thing for blondies dont you?" Nia asked with a sick chuckle

"No" Lexa cleared her throat due to feeling incredibly uncomfortable, embarrassed and angry

"Very well, you have yourself a deal Alexandra"

Lexa's head snaps up at the mentioning of her birth name

She walks over to Nia and seals their deal with wrapping their hands around each others upper arm and holding for a few seconds. The tension in the room builds

"See you on he battle fields Auntie" Lexa says before leaving the room and heading back to Polis