Calum's POV:
I was never a person who would fall hard for someone because I couldn't trust anyone but I think it happened. But not like I expected it to happen. Everything was fine till now but I felt that it wouldn't last long.
Michael is my sun. He's the reason I am still alive. He's the one that found me when I was about to jump off a building. He's the one that made me forget about all the bad reasons I even wanted to do this. He's the only person I ever fell for. But sadly also the only one who kind of broke my heart.
Every night when I go to bed I cry. I cry because he left me. He promised me that he would be there for me forever. But he couldn't hold his promise. This is why I didn't want to trust anybody. It just leads to get hurt.
He would still be here if he didn't had to leave for his job. At least he didn't broke up with me. But sometimes I wish he had because then I wouldn't have to listen to his voice through the phone which is so frustrating because I want him next to me.
Two weeks since he was seven hours away from me. It was torture for me. I just want him next to me already. I want to feel the butterflies in my stomach again everytime he smiles at me, his beautiful eyes right in front of me everytime I wake up and the sweet kisses he gives me when I go to sleep, his arms wrapped around me and feeling his breath against my neck when he whispers 'I love you' to me.
I always write songs to distract me but I think this time it wasn't the best idea but I still did it and the chorus got me the hardest.
When I close my eyes and try to sleep, I fall apart, I'm fighting hard to breathe, you're the reason, the only reason. Even though my dizzy head is numb, I swear, my heart is never giving up, you're the reason, the only reason.
-
My heartbeat was faster then ever.
Should I really do this?
Is this the only way to stop the pain?
I think Michael would say 'You'll find a smarter way to end the pain than this' but he isn't here to tell me that so I'm left on my own.
The bathroom floor was cold and the razor in my hand had something that made me smile. It sounds creepy but I had a reason why I smiled then with this little thing I could end all my pain with one cut.
I looked at myself in the mirror and just saw a person who looked like he was already dead.
So why just look lke it when you could be so?
I laid into the bathtube and held the razor harder then before.
I will do this now, nothing is gonna stop me now.
I was just about to press the razor onto my wrist when someone snatched it away from me.
I heard it fall to the ground and felt how familar arms took me to the bedroom. He put me down and laid next to me.
I opened my eyes just to look into those beautiful eyes I missed so much.
Michael pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head.
"Oh Calum. Why would you do this again? Why didn't you tell me that you were this sad. I could of come back home earlier. You know that I love you very much and that I could never live without you."
"I know but it was so heartbreaking. The thought that I couldn't have you with me all day. It was horrible and today was the worst. I really couldn't stop it anymore."
"But babe, you could of have just phoned me and I would just come back earlier for you, even when I would loose my job. You're the most important thing to me and don't ever forget that. I swear I'm never gonna be away for so long again, not when it makes you so sad."
"I love you Michael. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
"I love you too, Cal. Forever and always."
It turned out a bit different then I planned to but I don't care. Hope you liked it even when it was a bit shitty.
I'm not sure if I asked this before but do you want me to write kinky smut?
