Omg my concert is tommorrow and I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though I'm really far away from the stage, I am still really, really, really excited because I can see them live, no matter how far away I am, I still kind of met/saw them in real life.
Also sorry for not updating for so long but I just had so many things going on that I didn't had time.
"You know why it never worked when I wanted to help you come together with your crush? Because they weren't interested in you!"
Those words kept stuck in my head. He was right. They weren't, because I'm stupid, ugly, worthless, pathetic and so many other things. I knew it before but to hear it from my best friend hurt even more.
Life just isn't fair. So many people are born with so beautiful faces and then there's me who was born like a freak, a loner, a fat and ugly human. It's just not fair at all.
Like that isn't enough, I am also gay and everyone I know is homophobe. My life is just great.
I cry every night and barely get sleep and nobody notice this. It's like they don't even want to know how I am. What am I saying. They probably don't even care about me.
Like I said, I'm worthless.
My arms and thighs are marked with cuts, some fresh and some who are healing. It looks so ugly but I don't care. It's not like anybody would want to see me in short clothes.
Nobody cares about me, so why am I still alive then? I don't know, maybe I should just end it all and no one would notice.
You know what, that's what I will do now. I will end it and then everything would be fine.
I walked into my bathroom and searched for my blade. As I took it I heard the doorbell ring.
'I should probably lock the door.', I thought to myself.
I locked the bathroomdoor and sat down on the ground with my blade.
I placed it on my wrist and made a small cut first. As I was about to make a second I heard a voice coming from my room.
"Ashton are you in there?", the beautiful voice said. The voice which stuck in my head the whole time. The voice which led me to where I am now.
"What do you want Luke?", I asked with a shaky voice and noticed that I started crying.
"Are you okay? You know I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean it. You know actually it wasn't even your fault. The people were interested but... It's a bad time to say it now... But, you know, I always told them to stay away from you. I know it's bad that I did that and the fact that I lied to you is even worse but I... I l-li-like you so much and it-it would have hurt too much to see you with another person because I only want to be the one with you... I'm so sorry... Can you please open the door?"
I sat there, shocked.
Did he just confessed that he wants to be with me?!
Me, out of all those amazing people, he chose me?!
I slowly unlocked the door and then it was Lukes turn to be shocked.
I wondered why till I remembered that he can see my cuts and that I still holded the blade in my hand.
Tears began to fall down his cheek and he took me into a big hug.
No one spoke because no words were needed.
He released me to look me in the eyes and slowly moved forward to press our lips together.
When he pulled away he said with a soft voice: "I'm gonna help you. You know, I care a lot about you and I really, really like you. So please let me help you."
I nodded and said with a barely audible voice: "I like you too."
