I will wait

3

"Daddy, can we go downstairs? I'm hungry" Ellie asked as she peeked out of Meredith's arms where they have been cuddling all morning

"Of course but be quiet so we don't wake mommy" Derek hushed and picked up the little girl and walked downstairs

"Will sissy really die?" Ellie asked

"We're not completely sure, baby.." Derek sighed as he squeezed her into a hug

"I don't want her to die" Ellie whispered as a tear ran down her pink and chubby cheeks

"Me neither but she's very sick and we'll do everything we can, I promise" Derek kissed Ellie-May's forehead

"Mommy needs hugs!" Ellie said as Derek placed her on the counter

"But lunch first" Derek pointed out

"Mommy loves your sandwiches" Ellie giggled

"She does" Derek laughed a bit

They heard some shuffles coming closer to the kitchen door before revealing Meredith with red shot eyes, dark bags underneath her eyes and a sloppy form

"Hi" She whispered but didn't move

"Mommy, hi!" Ellie ran to her

"Hi baby" She whispered

"Ellie, can you go wash your hands real quick?" Derek asked

Ellie nodded and ran off, leaving Meredith and Derek by themselves

"She kicked" Meredith whispered as her voice cracked

"She.. She kicked?" Derek gasped, immediately moving closer "So there's a main brainstem" He smiled a bit

"Derek, she kicked" Meredith broke down "I can't lose her, Derek! I can't" She yelled

"Mommy? Are you okay?" Ellie asked as she walked back into the room

Meredith kept sobbing and Derek lowered her onto the ground, Ellie quickly came to hug her mom and place gentle kisses on her cheek and belly

"These are for my sissy" She whispered as her tiny hands were resting on Meredith's round stomach as she placed a wet kiss on Derek's old shirt that Meredith was now wearing

Meredith lost her voice. She only could rub Ellie's back as her eyes met Derek's

Derek kneeled down in front of her and had no clue what to say. It seemed as if their oldest daughter was pulling them through this

"Thank you Ellie" Derek spoke up after wiping both his and Meredith's tears away

"Mommy should eat! Sissy will be hungry" Ellie said

"You're right. Let's go back to bed now so we can cuddle some more, okay?" Derek asked Ellis but basically wanted to check on Mer who could only nod

Derek's phone started ringing

"Derek?" Derek could hear Addison, his ex wife's voice

"Yeah?" He breathed

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" She started to apologize

"Thanks for calling Addison"

"I wanna offer you my help. I've seen more cases like this than Arizona did" Addison started

"Thanks, really" He smiled a bit

"I'll call Bailey now to make sure I have privileges, maybe a temporary function so I can stay a bit. Jake agrees on it"

"Thanks, Addi" Derek barely knew what to say and hung up

Derek quickly joined his girls in the bed and all three of them had some lunch

"Mer, Addison wants to fly out and help us" Derek started and Meredith nodded in approval

"That's okay for you?" He double checked

"We need the very best for our little girl" Meredith whispered as her hand rubbed her stomach as she felt some small kicks

Derek nodded and laid his head down on the pillow until they got siturbed by Meredith's phone that started ringing

"Bailey?" Meredith picked up, her voice still cracking "I.. I don't know, can I hand the phone to Derek?" Meredith asked as tears started to stream down her face

"Bailey?" Derek picked the phone "Yeah.. It's true" He responded with a sad expression. Meredith was holding Ellie close to herself in a try to find the comfort she needs

"Thank you Bailey, we'll stay in touch with you" Derek said as he ended the phone call "She's arranging everything with Addison" Derek spoke up as he grabbed Meredith's hand

"Okay" Meredith sighed "Thanks"

"Come here" Derek whispered and kissed her forehead as he pulled them close

They stayed like this the whole evening, Alex had dropped off some food for them so they wouldn't have to worry about that

They already brought Ellie to bed when Derek decided to get changed into some new pajamas. When he finished, he couldn't find Meredith and walked through the hallway as he saw the door of the unfinished nursery was slightly opened

"Mer?" He whispered as he entered the room

"I'm sorry" She whispered as she turned around to face him and quickly turned back to look at the tiny bed that was standing in the middle of the room. Her hands held it firmly as she felt tears running down her cheeks

Derek walked towards her so her back was resting against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands on her stomach when he felt a little kick

Meredith released a sob and he just held her closer, no words needed at this point. They both realised that their little girl barely had any chance to spend her first years here as a baby. Instead they had to start thinking about long life facillitie care, if they have the best case scenario, otherwise it easily will change to thinking about a coffin, organ donation and a lot of other things expecting parents never even wanna think about

"I just love her so much, I can't-" Meredith spoke up

"I know, me neither" Derek finished, knowing exactly what she meant